Jealousy is common to all people, but some have learned to restrain their emotions, while others have not. Jealousy is an indicator of self-doubt, the desire to prove their uniqueness. Very often, in a married couple, the role of a jealous woman is a wife who can inadequately respond not only to the spouse's communication with other women, but also to his communication with children from his first marriage.
Causes of occurrence
Most people consider moderate jealousy an element of a happy relationship, as it proves the affection and love of partners. But the causeless mistrust of a wife can lead to attacks of aggression, which will negatively affect family relationships.
Reasons why a woman wants to control her man.
- Self-doubt. Often appears in women who have not been able to get affection and care in childhood. Complexes acquired in your own family prevent them from fully trusting the partner. It constantly seems to such women that they can be easily replaced, and therefore they are trying with all their might to keep their loved one.
- Past betrayals. They make the wife more suspicious of her husband, because behind him episodes of infidelity were previously noted. The betrayal of a loved one leaves an indelible imprint, which ultimately leads to constant attacks of jealousy.
- A sense of ownership. It makes the lady fully control the life of her husband. At the same time, she can be jealous of her husband not only to outside women, but also to colleagues, girlfriends, and even her sister or mother-in-law.
- Dissatisfaction with love relationships. It leads to the fact that the wife begins to demand from her husband love and affection.Lack of attention makes her suspect her lover of cheating, which in fact may not be.
- High social status of spouse. Can make your wife constantly suspect him of infidelity. This happens, for example, if the wife is on maternity leave, and the husband is actively pursuing a career.
- The playful character of the husband. The habit of flirting with everyone and making unambiguous hints annoy the jealous. Moreover, such a model of behavior does not always indicate the licentiousness of the spouse. Sometimes he simply does not notice that he is talking too much about other women.
- The influence of society. Sometimes the subconscious of a young wife is affected by work colleagues or friends, convincing a lady of the infidelity of all men. Constant examples and stories of male cheating sooner or later make a woman jealous of her husband, constantly monitor and control him.
Not always unfounded jealousy is the result of childhood injuries or public influence.
Love for drinking can also provoke family scandals.
When intoxicated, a woman is able to be jealous of her husband not only to her best friend, but also to her own mother.
Second wife or jealousy of the past
Often a jealous wife begins a conflict with her husband because of the presence of children from a previous marriage. Some women believe that the spouse wants to spend more time not with her child, but with her ex-spouse. It is this thought that most often does not allow a lady to relax and enjoy a love relationship.
A jealous woman can have a sense of ownership if her husband not only spends a lot of time with the baby, but also takes him for a joint rest. Not every woman will be able to cope with such competition and become a child a friend.
The biggest fear of any woman is the breakdown of the relationship and the departure of the spouse to the ex-wife.
Therefore, any hint of any relationship between a lover and the mother of his children is perceived by the lady as treason.
The relationship may be complicated by the parents of the husband, who are able to defiantly show love for their older grandchildren.
This is especially acute when father-in-law begins to compare children. Moreover, such actions are not necessarily aimed at infringing on the younger grandchildren or express a complaint to the second daughter-in-law regarding education. Sometimes in this way the father-in-law nostalgic, sharing with the daughter-in-law warm memories.
How to fight?
According to modern psychology, women are stronger than men subject to a feeling of jealousy. This is due to the prevailing opinion, suggesting the polygamy of the stronger sex. In order to learn how to control emotions and suppress distrust of the spouse, the wife must follow the advice of psychologists.
- Self-hypnosis. You need to learn to love yourself and stop comparing with other women. It is worthwhile to understand that there will always be ladies distinguished by a more attractive appearance, sociability, showiness and so on. You must constantly convince yourself that your man will not find the best candidate for the role of wife. It is important to constantly remind yourself of your own positive qualities.
- Organization of joint leisure. A smart wife will find many ways to captivate a beloved man, so that he would prefer to spend his free time with his family, rather than in the company of dubious personalities. For this, the lady needs to study her husband’s hobbies and try to become an ally for him. For example, if your spouse is an ardent football fan, you should learn the rules of this game and try to keep abreast of the latest sports events.
- Participation in the life of a spouse. Many wives are completely not interested in the life of their beloved man, believing that the husband is able to cope with problems himself. Such indifference can provoke a man to find a woman who will support him in difficult moments.By creating a cozy home environment for a loved one and becoming for him not only a wife, but also a friend, you can increase the chances of maintaining marital fidelity.
- Self-development. No man wants to be near a groomed and notorious companion, he will prefer a spectacular and self-confident lady to her. Therefore, it is important for any married woman to pay sufficient attention to their own appearance. In addition, it is necessary to engage in self-development in order to demonstrate the spouse's intellectual abilities.
- Adoption. Each wife should accept the idea of a possible infidelity of the spouse. You need to understand that the husband’s betrayal is not the end of life, and no control and jealousy can keep a man from the temptation. Accepting such an outcome will help the lady to relate more easily to marriage and, instead of tormenting her partner with constant suspicions, will give her the opportunity to engage in personal affairs.
To wean his wife from causeless jealousy, the husband must also make some efforts.
First of all, he must raise his lover's self-esteem. To do this, you need to constantly tell your wife compliments, not being afraid to praise her.
As soon as the spouse feels her own significance and originality, the number of scandals based on jealousy will significantly decrease.
A jealous woman can help a heart-to-heart talk. The husband should try to understand the causes of the pathological jealousy of his wife and try to find ways to eliminate them. Such dialogues can open a man’s eyes to his own behavior and help a woman release the burdened emotions.
A wise man in response to the provocative behavior of his lover will try to smooth out the situation, but will not aggravate it in any way. Retaliatory aggression will not solve the problem, and avoiding the conflict will only add to the wife confidence in the veracity of her suspicions. In order to preserve the family, it is important for the spouse to learn to restrain and not respond to offensive accusations.
Some psychologists advise jealous husbands to provide life partners with the ability to be monitored. Thus, one can prove to the beloved openness and fidelity, which will help calm the suspicious lady.
In rare cases, a partner may seek help from a specialist. Consulting a therapist will help you find the cause of the problem and how to solve it.
On how to deal with jealousy, see the video.