Jealousy

Jealous guy: causes and signs of jealousy, how to avoid it?

Jealous guy: causes and signs of jealousy, how to avoid it?
Content
  1. Causes
  2. How to understand what is jealous?
  3. How to avoid jealousy?
  4. Psychologists advice

Moderate jealousy in relationships is even flattering and perceived as a demonstration of indifference and love on the part of a young man. Attention is always nice, but sometimes a girl realizes that she got a too jealous guy. The causes and signs of jealousy, how to avoid it, and what to look for - you can find out about this from the article.

Causes

Excessive jealousy is not good for relationships. Suspicion can be based on various factors. The most common cause is low self-esteem. At heart, a jealous guy is unsure that he is worthy to be next to such a good girl, his own complexes cause him a constant feeling of discomfort and insecurity.

Trying to hide it, a young man can arrange jealousy scenes. Men with such problems can defiantly show signs of attention to their lady and literally not leave her when the couple is in the company of friends, in a restaurant or at a party.

Another common option is ownership syndrome. Such a guy begins to think that the girl belongs to him, and she is not entitled to any rights and freedoms. He may try to control personal correspondence, trips and meetings with friends, indicate how to dress, with whom to communicate. Such behavior suggests that he does not see the personality in the girl and is not able to understand that each person should have the right to choose. It is better to stay away from such a guy, since people with such views are often prone to assault if something makes them crazy.

If a guy is too jealous, in some cases this means that he is simply afraid to lose his chosen one. The greater the fear, the more suspicion arises, especially if over time in the relationship not everything goes smoothly. A young man may be afraid of a frank conversation about problems, afraid to hear that the girl wants to part with him, therefore, does not attempt to engage in a constructive dialogue, but only throws unreasonable accusations, succumbing to outbursts of jealousy.

The problem may lie in the behavior of the girl herself. If she dresses quite provocatively, flirts with other men and encourages her fans to flirt, this casts doubt on her intention to build a serious relationship, because everything looks like she is looking for new acquaintances.

Perhaps the girl and the young man have different ideas about the permissible limits of decency. This may be the result of different upbringing, character, outlook on life. If a girl is used to spending a lot of time in a male company, then the guy may misunderstand this. In such a situation, jealousy may arise due to misunderstanding, therefore, it will be necessary to discuss everything together and identify acceptable boundaries.

Some guys are jealous because they judge by themselves. Such is their psychology, they are not shy about changing their chosen one, therefore they are sure that she does the same. These men think that fidelity does not exist, and they change everything, they just don’t say it out loud. To convince such people is extremely difficult. Jealousy can arise from negative experiences in a young person’s life. If he already had an unsuccessful relationship, in which there was a betrayal by the girl, he may be afraid of a repeat of this story.

Sometimes suspicion is a manifestation of too violent fantasy. Such a person has certain stories in his head that overshadow reality, as a result, he can begin to accuse the girl of romantic affection for her best friend or her past boyfriend, or even for the actors she likes. If such a guy was jealous, then it will not be easy to convince him. Even worse, when a man with a rich imagination is addicted to alcohol - under the influence of a drink, he will completely cease to objectively evaluate what is happening and may begin to commit unsightly acts.

How to understand what is jealous?

Not always immediately noticeable that the guy is jealous. Some males can make scandals, throwing accusations, but most are used to not showing their emotions. This may be the reason for education, because boys often express disapproval of an open manifestation of feelings, so when they grow up, men prefer to keep everything in themselves so as not to become objects of ridicule. However, emotions do not disappear anywhere, and hidden jealousy torments the young man.

There are some signs by which you can understand that a man is jealous, even if he thinks that everything is carefully hidden.

  • Search for evidence. The guy begins to look through friends lists on social networks, to study who comments on posts and likes, tries to read personal correspondence on the phone, constantly wonders who it called. He suspects something and is now trying to find evidence to verify this.
  • Manipulation A girl who is already going to meet her friends may hear: “And I thought we would stay together today,” after which she, of course, would stay at home. Only here the guy returns to his business as if nothing had happened, because this phrase was only an excuse not to let the chosen one go to the meeting.
  • Vagaries and bad mood. He is constantly dissatisfied with something, although the pair did not have open quarrels and conflicts. A man is offended, does not want to talk, or answers rather rudely, but does not admit that he is worried.
  • Constant inquiries. A guy may seem to be jokingly interested in whether a girl has a lover, if someone has molested her at work, but repeating questions of this content make it clear that he is jealous.

Even if he denies everything without showing his emotions, by these signs you can find out that jealousy does not give him rest. If you communicate a lot on the Internet, then by correspondence you can also notice that not everything is in order.

As a rule, guys in this situation become more reserved, are reluctant to answer messages, or, on the contrary, ask too many questions about your activity on social networks.

How to avoid jealousy?

To avoid unnecessary accusations and quarrels, first of all, start with yourself and analyze your behavior. Perhaps you love attention and are used to unconsciously flirting with others, which infuriates the guy. This does not mean that you urgently need to gather in a monastery and stop all contacts with other men, just try to behave more restrained for the sake of the experiment. If you like revealing outfits, try to choose a less provocative wardrobe, and sexuality is better to demonstrate at home, alone with your beloved.

No need to try to intentionally provoke a man, ostensibly in order to test his feelings. Such advice does not work and only cause problems in relationships and constant suspicion on the part of the guy.

If you do not see anything in your behavior that could cause jealousy, but he still throws accusations, you should not try to come up with excuses. For him, this can be a sign confirming all suspicions, because if it is justified, then there is something to hide. It is better to ignore meticulous inquiries in such a situation and maintain equanimity.

Do not forget to pay attention to him, say that you love him, give compliments. Not only women like this, men also want to hear nice words addressed to them. Praise his skills, make it clear that without him it would be very difficult for you to cope with something, so that he would feel needed. Make a compliment to your appearance, for example, note good physical shape, if he visits the gym, let him see that you appreciated his efforts. Convince the chosen one that for you he is the best and unique, then he will have no reason to be jealous.

If you are late at work, tell him about it, because his anxiety can be caused not only by jealousy, but also by the fact that he worries and worries when you are not at home at a later time. Let him know about the meetings you plan to go without him, and do not be offended if he decides to call you at this time. Pick up the phone and calmly talk to him to dispel suspicion, but a disconnected phone may cause a quarrel.

Tell him that his jealousy and constant suspicions hurt you. Do not blame him and do not say that he is bad, focus on your feelings. Do not be shy to speak out and admit that you are upset and upset, it hurts you to hear unreasonable accusations, you feel depressed because of such words from a loved one. Any adequate man will not want to make the girl suffer.

Psychologists advice

To deal with jealousy and causes, you need to understand the motives of this phenomenon, so psychologists advise trying to build a dialogue with a guy and discuss this issue. Many men are rather reluctant to talk about their feelings, so it’s important for the girl here to show delicacy and patience. Perhaps the guy will need help to cope with his fears or complexes, which lead to outbreaks of jealousy. Try to convince him that together you can overcome everything, but for this you need to discuss the problems that have arisen, and not close yourself.

Try to communicate more often, discuss various issues and life situations. This will benefit relations, teach you how to build a dialogue and help develop trust, which together plays a very important role. Share your thoughts with the guy - your openness will help dispel his suspicions.If a young man does not manage to struggle with complexes on his own, invite him to seek help from a psychologist. The main thing is to do it tactfully so that he feels your support and care.

Unfortunately, in some cases, success will not work. The jealous simply does not want to change, listen to the words and seek some compromises. He is convinced that he is right and will continue to harass you with reproaches, no matter what you do. In such a situation, there is nothing left but to break off this relationship. Any girl does not deserve a life with a pathological jealous, because such a situation will turn into continuous torment.

If he not only does not want to change, but also arranges scandals that reach the assault - this is a good reason to break off all relations with him right away. No man has the right to raise a woman’s hand, and if he was able to hit you once, this will be repeated.

That is why it is better to immediately pack your bags and leave. You can ask for help from a brother, friend or father who can intercede for you and protect the jealous from the intrusive attention.

For the main causes of jealousy and what to do about it, see the next video.

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Information provided for reference purposes. Do not self-medicate. For health, always consult with a specialist.

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