Should you make a guy jealous if you want to build a serious relationship with him?

If you look at women's forums and magazines, you get the impression that without jealousy, you can’t ignite the flame of passion in a man. Girls and women seriously advise each other "to make him jealous and tormented." Is it worth it and how not to cross the line of reason, this article will tell.

Healthy, measured jealousy can really freshen up relationships, give them piquancy, and indicate to a partner the value of a chosen one. But do not forget that jealousy is a very dangerous feeling, and its consequences can be unpredictable.

Usually the question is whether to make a guy (husband) jealous, girls and women ask when they think they are not loved enough, they are not to the extent that we would like, they are valued, they are not afraid to lose them. This is where you need to stop and think well - after all, all of the above seems to you, invented by you, are your expectations, which to one degree or another are not justified. Maybe it's easier to reduce claims?

The second question that a woman must ask herself before proceeding with the development of a cunning plan for arousing jealousy in her partner is what does she need it for? Try to answer it, but avoid phrases like: “Because he is so-and-so.” The question is, what is required, and not why. The answer should be as honest as possible.Look at him from a distance, perhaps he will be so disgusting that all desire to cause jealousy will disappear by itself.

A woman who is trying to cause jealousy in a partner sincerely believes that this will positively affect her relationshipthat a man will instantly review everything and begin to be afraid of losing her. That is, a girl makes a man jealous in order to improve relations. But in practice this does not always happen. With a high degree of probability, such actions will be detrimental to your relationship, especially if you plan to live a long and happy life with this man, raise children, build a house.

Relations will die gradually, because jealousy caused is dangerous precisely because of its long-term prospect - when the relationship in marriage becomes habitual, passion fades, enough minor grievances accumulate, he can remind you of this non-existent rival that you yourself created. This is how pathological paranoid jealousy develops, so marriages break up and lives collapse.

Jealousy has an effect similar to a tsunami. And this has nothing to do with love. Allegations that “jealous means love” are not true.

Men are quite insightful, and it would be a mistake to consider them uncouth. They quickly distinguish manipulations from other motives. If a woman tries to test her feelings for strength in order to satisfy her own ambitions, they quickly figure it out. Needless to say, there can be no question of trust in such relations. Men do not want to be victims of manipulation, usually they decide not to marry women who have been caught manipulating at least once.

Jealousy at a distance is also not the best option, as ladies think. Such situations, even thought out to the smallest detail and staged, can forever form the opinion of the partner - he will cease to trust, believing that the woman will continue to receive attention from other men. And every time he or his companion needs to go on business or on vacation, he will be tormented by doubts, which obviously will not benefit the relationship.

There is only one situation in which male jealousy will be normal. This is if you are not married, and if a woman has done absolutely nothing to artificially cause something or provoke jealousy. At the courtship stage, the man himself feels in the framework of the competition.

But here a woman is required to be natural in her behavior. You do not need to hide the fact that you are communicating with other men, but this should not be advertised. You should not talk about it yourself, but in a conversation such information can come up and sound naturally. It is not a fact that a man will be jealous, but it will be quite normal, nature-created jealousy, in which there is nothing pathological.

If all of the above does not convince, and I really want to give my beloved a little emotional shake-up, let's look at the most common reasons for jealousy in a couple and evaluate whether it is possible to act intentionally in these situations.

Jealousy is a feeling generously implicated in fear of losing, losing, ceasing to possess. There can be any number of reasons for this feeling. Men are naturally designed in such a way that it is important for them to win, to conquer, and women have learned to skillfully use this feature of the stronger sex. The main thing is not to overdo it.

There are several proven methods, but not all will work if you are planning not a fleeting bright relationship, but a strong and serious marriage.

A woman who suddenly changed her image, dressed up and walks beautiful and mysterious, very intriguing man. Some begin to wonder aloud what happened, while others are silent and in their hearts sorting out versions of the reasons for the miraculous transformation. The method is excellent, useful, non-violent. Questions can be answered evasively or completely limited to the smile of Mona Lisa, to laugh it off.

Transformation will benefit a woman - raise self-esteem, she will draw the admiring gaze of a partner and other men, it is possible that the object of heart suffering will accidentally intercept others' views. Then the effect for him will intensify many times. The worst thing that can be done is the female answer to the male question: "This is all for you." Such answers dampen men, reduce their internal competition.

Pretty dubious way. A woman who, even before marriage, often lingers at work, is not an ideal candidate for a wife in the eyes of a man, because few people like to cook dumplings after a working day while the wife is busy with her work issues. Therefore, attempts to cause jealousy with messages that you need to stay at work are not too deliberate. Of course, a man will not break off relations just because of this (although this happens), but he will not hurry to make an offer.

If you are not married, are not bound by certain agreements and responsibilities, then there is nothing unusual in this - a woman has every right to communicate with her friends without her man. She may not take a chosen one to her friend, and for an adequate man this will not only not cause a feeling of jealousy, but will not become a cause for resentment. Now, if a man takes scenes about this, you need to think about it, and whether it is worth building a relationship with him, because when it comes to marriage, such a person will do everything so that you do not have friends, as he will try to control every step.

It is strongly discouraged to deceive a man (even if the deception is pre-arranged). If a woman goes to her friend, and then does everything so that he doubts exactly where she was, good will not work: this is an occasion for a man to doubt his chosen one.

Also, leisure separately has a flip side: if you now prefer to communicate with your friends and girlfriends without a chosen one, then it is possible that he will not want to introduce you to his friends. Will such a relationship be complete? Probably not.

This method of causing jealousy subconsciously, not having sufficient life experience, is used by everyone, but mainly in childhood, at school. For first love, other methods are unfamiliar and inaccessible. But for mature adults, this method is unacceptable. A girl or woman who flirts openly with other men in front of her own partner, even if they are not bound by marriage, risks losing her partner forever.

Not every man will endure the pangs of jealousy, not everyone will rush to you with flowers and a wedding ring. Many in such situations respond with care. Not because they cannot or do not want to compete with others, but because they simply do not see the point: a woman who willingly accepts the courtship of other members of the stronger sex, in their opinion, will not be the best wife and mother of children.

In social networks, according to many, more is allowed than in life. Virtual space is very difficult to regulate. Some use their activity on social networks both to find love and to “correct” it. Men perceive social networks as a projection of reality, and therefore liberties in correspondence that a woman can afford on the Internet for the purpose of later reaching a chosen one will be regarded by them in the same way as flirting with men in reality.

On the one hand, it’s okay that a woman “likes” the photo of another man, writes a neutral comment on his post or video, but on the other hand, this is the paradox of “likes” - they too affect the psyche. This can ruin the relationship, although a strong, self-sufficient and intelligent man who grew up from adolescence simply does not pay attention to such trifles.

Ignoring a person who has done nothing wrong to you can be very offensive. And certainly it will not contribute to improving relations. If the chosen one has committed some rash, in your opinion, act, then ignoring in any case does not solve the current problem.

The decision not to notice a person and his attempts to talk is a departure from reality. Relationships cannot improve if partners do not have the opportunity to discuss what interests them. But ignoring is able to infuriate even a very calm man. It’s hard to say how he will act. Much depends on his temperament, upbringing, personal traits of character, life experience. Some, after several attempts to talk, just leave everything as it is, and then the woman will have to think for herself how to get out of a difficult situation. With a good mine with a bad game, it will be almost impossible to do.

Gifts are unknown from whom and even if it is known from whom they can be accepted only about. Such occasions include birthday, name day, New Year and other special occasions. But even if the gifts are justified, they should not be too expensive, otherwise it will cause suspicion in your chosen one. Even the elementary rules of etiquette prohibit accepting expensive gifts from people with whom you are not close or related.

Jealousy is also dangerous because it causes addiction as a strong drug. Gradually, the desire to tickle the nerves of the partner will be more and more strong, and then the woman will begin to turn every incomprehensible situation in the relationship into a way of manipulating jealousy. Gradually, the partner will also become dependent on jealousy, because after it there are violent and emotional reconciliations. This condition can lead a person to madness.

It is very difficult at the beginning of a relationship to distinguish a normal jealous from a pathological one. Jealousy in both cases begins with trifles, it is unobtrusive, it does not interfere with any of the partners and brings a certain variety to their relationship. But then everything can become complicated - the partner will begin to be jealous without a reason, will not hear your attempts to explain and justify, gradually it will turn into a paranoid or manic disorder, and then you can not do without the help of a qualified psychiatrist.

Pathological jealousy is treated with great difficulty, and it is almost impossible to maintain a family and normal relations with such a jealous person. In addition, aggressive jealousy accounts for up to 70% of all murders.

You can never predict in advance what effect the artificial jealousy you created in the partner's psyche will cause. If in childhood he had a deficit of parental love, if you had a negative experience with the betrayal of your beloved woman, if he has low self-esteem, the effect can be overwhelming, but not at all what you want. Instead of building strong relationships, you will break them down and undermine the very foundations of any healthy relationship - trust and emotional closeness.

A good psychologist who wishes you well will never advise you to cause jealousy in a man in one way or another. But there are recommendations that will help maintain the interest of the partner in a completely natural way, without pathological feelings that can destroy both the relationship and the health of the participants in the events.

• Have personal space. Never let anyone encroach on him. Your space is an area of ​​your interests and hobbies, your friends, your work, goals and personal growth. A self-respecting partner will accept them as his own. The man’s attempts to limit the woman’s personal space, ridicule of her goals and hobbies, prohibitions on communicating with friends is an alarming sign of the future home tyrant, which will turn your life into hell and without cause for jealousy.
• Men do not like "sweet." Too often talking to a representative of the stronger sex about love, writing touching SMS, ringing 10 times a day with confessions, and during meetings loyally like a dog, looking into his eyes is a sure way for an early termination of relations. Sooner or later (sooner sooner) the man will get bored, and he will find another who does not try to plunge him headlong into the area of ​​his own love experiences.
• A woman does not have to tell everything about herself - the absence of a mystery and a fleur of mystery in a woman very quickly makes a man cool towards her. One should especially avoid the details of past relationships - the former man is also a competitor.

• Be yourself and let your partner be yourself. Do not seem better or worse in order to interest the representative of the stronger sex. His psychology denies pretense, men are more straightforward. And therefore, allow yourself what you allowed before the appearance of this person in your life - a change of mood, for example. If she is reasonable, hysterical, it will support the man "in good shape."
• Never flirt with his friends. It will end badly, and even if the man himself does not arrange a scene for you because of this, his friends will remember for a long time, including in his presence, that he clearly got excited with the choice of a girlfriend.
• The most destructive advice that you can meet is rejection of intimacy. Yes, such actions on the part of women will certainly cause a violent reaction. But this is such a deliberate manipulation, it can only be seen by a blind and weak-minded person. Men are sensitive to manipulations in matters of intimate life, do not tempt fate.

The American satirist and journalist Henry Louis Mencken, who admired the best minds of mankind, once gave advice to all the beautiful ladies. He wrote the following: “If you want to keep a man, make him a little jealous. To lose him, make him a little jealous. ” This is the main principle.