How to get out of depression after a divorce?

Alas, not all couples manage to maintain their union. Due to circumstances, betrayal, or simply dissimilarity of characters, spouses in some cases are forced to make a difficult decision. Divorce greatly changes the way of life, its usual course. This period is associated with emotional stress and experiences, the oppression of which often leads to prolonged and deep depression in both men and women.

In life, everyone has to deal with a considerable number of various difficulties. Breaking up a marriage seriously hurts feelings, confuses and sometimes brings quite noticeable stress. When the decision on divorce is made and voiced, one has to put an end to joint plans and the previous way of life.

The following experiences and circumstances can lead to depression after a break.

• Feeling of uselessness and worthlessness. Most often, those partners who “lived” with their soul mate feel like this, had all their hopes only for an alliance with a husband or wife.
• Disappointment in oneself, infringement of pride and pride. If the divorce occurred due to a new relationship or betrayal of a partner, such experiences often torment and haunt.
• Feeling guilty of children, fear of losing touch with them.
• Remorse for past mistakes. Often after the breakup, former partners fall into deep self-discovery, cruelly condemning themselves for any past events and misconduct in marriage.
• Financial difficulties. After the dissolution of the marriage, the joint family budget breaks up, one of the former spouses has children in their care. The problem may be the search for new housing when traveling.
• Torment with guilt or shame.

Divorce can be of two types:

• by mutual agreement, when the decision is made by both spouses;
• initiated by one side, while for the other a break is not desirable.

Divorces that take place in the first scenario can be called peaceful. After them, former partners often manage to quickly arrange their personal lives. They can even quite communicate after some time. But even in this case, the former spouses are still not immune from the occurrence of depressive manifestations.

In the second case, the experiences of the left side are much harder and stronger. The period of establishing a psychoemotional state and lifestyle can be quite long in this case.

In both men and women, the symptoms of depressive disorder look broadly the same:

• severe apathy, which can not be overcome;
• chronic fatigue;
• sleep disturbance or insomnia;
• tearfulness, nervous exhaustion, inability to cope with emotions;
• depression is often manifested by outbursts of anger and aggression towards loved ones;
• a feeling of deep resentment against a partner, a desire to take revenge;
• fear of the future, a sense of hopelessness and hopelessness of future life;
• drop in self-esteem, self-doubt;
• addiction to alcohol and drugs, exacerbation of past addiction;
• suspiciousness, panic attacks, obsessive fears;
• neglect of his appearance and health, a person, as they say, “launches himself”;
• isolation in oneself, narrowing of the circle of communication or even refusal of contacts
• suicidal tendencies, desire to take scores with life.

Depression is characterized by a prolonged course. If one or 2-3 symptoms are observed within a couple of weeks, and then disappear, then this is just a passing state of sadness. It is not so scary and in most cases it is possible to cope with it quickly and without consequences.

In people experiencing a divorce, a depressed state goes through several stages. Depending on the personality characteristics and the specific situation, the duration of each of them may be different. The best option is the speedy course of each phase without getting stuck on any of them.

• The first step is to deny the current situation. “This cannot and will never be” - such a reaction is a protective mechanism of the psyche. By not accepting the obvious, the inevitable psychological tension is somehow pushed back.
• Anger and bitterness. After the transition to this phase, aggression and the desire to protect their interests come first. This period is characterized by scandals and severe conflicts, which further distance partners from each other.
• An acute desire to return a partner. Desperate attempts to build relationships, persuade spouse to reunite. Intrusive conversations, blackmail, gifts, threats can be used.
• Stage of active experience. The period of maximum adoption of the current situation and the beginning of adaptation to it. After all the protective mechanisms have worked, the human psyche is forced to put up with the gap and new circumstances. From this stage begins the direct experience and recovery process. It is at this stage that the delay most often occurs.

In turn, the duration of each stage of a depressive disorder and the severity of the experience depend on several factors:

• the age of the former spouses, the duration of their marriage and premarital relations;
• the presence of support from children, parents, friends and relatives;
• features of the psyche and stress resistance of each of the former spouses;
• relationship in marriage and feelings for each other at the time of breakup;
• features of children experiencing parental divorce;
• specific reasons for breaking the marriage relationship (betrayal, deceit, financial problems, interference of relatives, addictions or dependence of one of the spouses, domestic violence, etc.).

In the case of severe and protracted depression, do not let everything go by its own accord. Such a condition can subsequently leave an indelible mark on the psyche, and worsen health. No matter how difficult it is for a man or woman during this period, it is important to collect all your will and direct it to return to a full life.

The advice of a psychologist will help relieve stress and normalize the psycho-emotional state after a divorce.

• Do not forbid yourself tears and sadness. Active exit of emotions gives very good results. Pain and resentment must be lived through and only after that you can let go of all the negativity associated with this situation.
• Do not lock yourself. Let loved ones, family, or friends help you. Confidential conversations, the expression of experiences will help overcome depression.
• Feel free to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Often this opportunity is neglected, considering it a manifestation of weakness. Meanwhile, professional help helps get rid of heavy psycho-emotional experiences.
• Hobbies and physical education will help get out of depression after a divorce. If you have not previously been fond of either one or the other, find yourself a hobby for interests. Sign up for a gym, creative studio, master any musical instrument. This will broaden your horizons and increase your social circle.

• Antidepressants relieve acute mental stress. But such drugs can only be prescribed by a medical psychologist or psychotherapist, having previously assessed the situation. In addition, in many cases, antidepressants are addictive. After this, additional therapy is required to relieve dependence on them.
• The next tip is more about women, but it may be partially suitable for men. Take care of yourself, look for yourself a new image and embody it through wardrobe, makeup and change hairstyles.
• Do not rush to start a new relationship in spite of your former mate. This can lead to new frustrations. Communicate more with friends and people who are pleasant to you.
• In no case do not fill the grief with alcohol, and moreover, do not touch psychotropic substances. A very short fun will be followed by a deterioration of the emotional state. Such a lifestyle will necessarily negatively affect health.