How to start a new relationship after breaking up?

After a divorce from a beloved man or woman, you still need to live on. Do not give up on yourself, disappointed in one partner. After the emotions and resentment have subsided, tears are no longer in my eyes, you can think about how to arrange personal life. Finding a new true love is quite possible. About how to start a new relationship after the separation, and will be discussed in this article.

Such a serious and sad event as the dissolution of marriage and separation, for no one passes without a trace. This is a time of disappointment, resentment, uncertainty, fear for the future. Men and women who have survived divorce do not always deal with this quickly.

Psychology highlights the main problems that people face after breaking up relationships.

• For many, after parting with a partner, self-esteem is significantly reduced. Often similar consequences are observed in those who have been cheated. Due to a decrease in self-confidence, incorrect models of perceiving oneself begin to form in the head: for example, a person thinks that he is not worthy to be loved. Such attitudes firmly settle in the mind, preventing it from moving on.
• If the previous relationship lasted a long time, a person simply forgets how to behave when meeting and making new contacts. In other words, a woman or a man completely unlearnes how to flirt, give attention and care.

However, some women flirt, as they say, in the blood. But shy young ladies, who even before the first marriage didn’t allow themselves much in this regard, after a failure with a man can even more close and get confused.

Many husbands cease to show spouses attention.Living together and an established relationship to this do not seem to push - after all, no one needs to win a heart anymore. Having started courting a new passion, they are not careful enough, which often repels girls and women.

• Some in spite of the previous partner want to start dating someone as soon as possible. To do this, they actively get to know each other, send profiles to sites, flirt online and in the company of friends. Often such an onslaught only scares. Moreover, hastily created relationships or marriage can again lead to disappointment and cause even greater pain.

• Sometimes those who were married cannot get rid of the role of wife or husband. Having started dating, they immediately show possessive ambitions, unnecessarily take care of a new partner, and try to control him. The romantic period of the couple in this case completely spoils. A new lover or lover begins to seem as if you have been married for many years, although this is not so.
• Excessive idealization of a new partner is a serious psychological problem. Women who decide to get married again, literally draw in their heads the image of a prince. They so do not feel like making the wrong choice again, that they repeatedly push away potential candidates.

The same goes for men. Wanting an ideal relationship with a new wife, they begin to make sometimes difficult requirements. Trying to find a dream girl, such a man misses real opportunities. Naturally, a relationship that has hardly begun does not work out because of unwillingness and inability to accept new love as it is.

• It is sometimes difficult for a woman who has a child to find a new husband. Often, mothers gnaw guilty feelings in front of their children. Many women are afraid to bring a new man to the children’s house because he may be worse than his father and cause them inconvenience.
• Those who were abandoned by their other half often have a “sufferer” complex. Such people almost consciously force themselves to experience the gap again and again, not letting the pain come to naught.

Men and women who have survived divorce, experts give some useful tips.

• Do not lock yourself in, do not stop communicating with friends and family. If it’s hard for you, let them help you. The faster you cope with negative emotions and depression, the sooner you can start taking the first steps to your future. Express the feelings and anxieties that torment you, to the one you trust. This will help relieve depression.
• Do not run yourself, watch your appearance. In no case do not pass a sentence on yourself, thinking that you no longer look good for anyone. This is not true! You still have your children, relatives, friends and colleagues. A new love can come at any moment. And so that she finds you, help her, remaining a handsome and decently looking person.
• Lovers always have a romantic period. Therefore, women should remember about easy flirting and coquetry. And for men to restore courtship skills.
• Do not pounce on new love. Attempts to “ring” as soon as possible can scare anyone. Moreover, this is simply unpleasant when a person in a relationship immediately shows a possessive stance and unhealthy obsession. Do not forget about respect, patience, do not rush things.
• Expand your circle of acquaintances. For this, you can, for example, sign up for a gym or in a creative studio.

• Work on your confidence.Low self-esteem betrays itself in any communication. Such a person often inspires pity and is perceived as helpless. A confident man will certainly attract a woman. A girl who knows her worth will always be attractive to guys.
• Do not try to find or nurture in your new partner the qualities of your ex-spouse. These are different people, and you will never find absolute resemblance. Look at your new love with a realistic look, without excessive demands. If you can’t accept the new partner in any way as he is, it’s worth considering whether you made a mistake.
• Try to objectively evaluate your behavior in a previous marriage. Find your mistakes, try to work them out. It is very foolish to repeat them again, jeopardizing your new relationship. If you are quick-tempered, try to soften your behavior, learn to work with emotions. Excessive jealousy also adds tension to the relationship. Analyze your habits and adjust yourself so that your partner is comfortable and calm with you.
• Women with children should not give up on themselves and forever stop only on the role of mother. You also have the right to love and a fulfilling life. Talk with the children and explain the situation to them so that they understand it because of their age. The main thing is to pay attention to how your loved one relates to the child, how they get along. Help them build communication. Tell your new man what your children love, what hobbies they have, more often organize a joint holiday.
• While building a new relationship, try not to distance yourself from the children. Feeling that he is neglected, the child may begin to be jealous and deliberately spoil relations with a potential stepfather or stepmother.