How to learn to communicate with people?

Interpersonal communication is an integral part of the life of any person. However, not everyone is easy to find contact with other people. How to learn to communicate with people in order to achieve the most effective interaction, we will consider in this article.

For life in society it is necessary to have the skills of effective communication. Every day we come across dozens of different people. Regardless of our desire, we are forced to make contact with others.

Communication is a rather complicated process, which implies the ability not only to speak correctly, but also to listen. In addition to verbal communication, to interact with other people it is important to know the sign language, to be able to control your intonation during conversation and facial expressions.

When interacting with other people, it is important to be able to win over the person you are talking to. Keep in mind a series of rules that can help you effectively connect:

• Do not criticize your interlocutor. Criticism repels people and can provoke a reaction of self-defense.
• More admire the interlocutor. All people have good qualities or skills that deserve attention. Find positive traits in a person and sincerely admire them.
• Show interest. Learn to listen to the interlocutor. Let people speak up on topics that are most relevant to them at the moment.
• Do not refuse to help a person make the right decision. When a person needs advice to make a choice, unobtrusively share your experience or opinion. It is important not to put pressure on the interlocutor and give him the opportunity to make a choice on his own.

• Smile more. You can always find a person with a good mood.
• Take into account personality traits. Be able to take the place of the interlocutor, analyze his actions, understand the motives of his actions. This will allow you to find a common language with the person.
• Simply take criticism of your address. If the interlocutor makes one or another remark, there is no need to choose the tactics of retaliatory attack. If there is no reason for developing a discussion with regards to comments addressed to you, then the conflict situation will resolve by itself.
• Do not tell people what they should do. Order tone causes a negative reaction in people.

In modern society, the skills of effective communication are necessary for every person. Communication skills play a large role in the social life of every individual. Productive communication with people will help to achieve many goals:

• Solve the issue of employment. At the interview it is very important to present yourself from the best side.
• To achieve mutual understanding in the work team. For effective work, it is necessary that colleagues treat each other with understanding and be ready to help in a difficult situation.
• Improve family relationships. The ability to easily find a common language with family members will avoid many conflict situations.
• Productive interaction with service workers (managers, sellers, waiters). By locating an employee, you can benefit from your interaction. For example, get good advice in choosing or a discount on the purchase.
• Establish contact with management. Effective interaction with the management team contributes to career advancement.

In a conversation, it is important to be able to win over a person. In order to learn how to communicate freely with people, follow these guidelines:

• Listen to the interlocutor’s speech. Catch the pace, intonation, volume of the voice. If you talk in a similar manner, this will help to achieve the location of the interlocutor.
• You must be able to clearly and competently express your thoughts, then listening to you will be more interesting and pleasant.
• First, you can begin to train your ability to clearly express thoughts in writing. Try to find the right storytelling for yourself.
• Replenish your vocabulary regularly. The ability to choose the right words to express your thoughts means a lot.
• Work on gestures and facial expressions.

Often, internal barriers prevent us from getting in touch with other people. Learn to recognize psychological obstacles and remove them. The following factors may interfere with interpersonal interaction:

• Lack of conversation topics. Each person has his own interests and hobbies. If you try, you can always find common ground. Learn more about the person you are talking to.
• Biased attitude. An adequate perception of the interlocutor can be distorted for many reasons. Do not allow yourself to suddenly draw conclusions about a person without knowing him better.
• Bad mood. The presence of problems at work or in personal life is not a reason for a splash of negative emotions on other people.

It is equally important to be able to respectfully listen to the interlocutor. Pay attention not only to what a person says, but also to how he does it, what his gestures and facial expressions are talking about. Be considerate and polite.Know how to stand in the place of another person and understand him. In no case do not interrupt a person - this can cause extremely negative consequences.

In communication, try to always be honest and open. Sincerity will make you feel more at ease and at ease.

The main reason people are afraid to make contact is the fear of being misunderstood. As a rule, the roots of this problem go back to the childhood of the individual. To stop being afraid to express your thoughts, you need to identify the causes of this phobia. Reluctance to make contact with other people may have other reasons:

• low self-esteem;
• complexes due to appearance;
• shyness;
• inability to start and maintain a dialogue.

Regardless of the cause of fear, it is necessary to fight it. The easiest way to combat phobia is to do what you fear. In order to learn how to make contacts in modern society, you can start small: as often as possible approach strangers on the street and ask them for insignificant things (time, way to a certain place). After a while, you will begin to feel more confident when communicating with other people.

You can start expressing yourself online. Each person has certain interests and hobbies. At thematic forums, you can hone your communication skills on interesting topics. There are several advantages to this approach:

• with virtual communication, it is easier to step over your fears;
• it is easier to make contact with like-minded people;
• acquired communication skills will have a good effect on self-esteem.

After the first successes in communication, do not stop there. You need to start putting your skills into practice in real life. To make contact with people much easier, you need to work out certain qualities and skills:

• Build self-confidence. Confident people are conducive to communication and interaction.
• Contact your interlocutor by name more often.
• Learn to develop a dialogue. Show your interest in the person, ask unobtrusive, clear questions to keep the conversation going.
• Do not be afraid to be refused.
• When communicating, maintain eye contact with the person. Looking away to the side can be interpreted as stealth or deceit. Do not be afraid to look people in the eye.

For effective interaction with other people, it is important to hone the skills of not only verbal communication, but also be able to transmit information through gestures and facial expressions. In addition, knowing the basics of body language, you can better understand the interlocutor, analyzing his behavior. Often facial expressions, gestures and intonation speak much more than human speech.

When analyzing the interlocutor, do not forget that the signals supplied by his body must be “read” in aggregate. The same gesture in combination with other signals can have a variety of meanings.

Opened palms indicate honesty and sincerity of a person, while hands hidden in pockets or crossed on the chest indicate that the interlocutor is lying, feels uncomfortable or does not intend to continue the conversation.

In men, it is customary to greet each other with a handshake. Moreover, they can shake hands both with familiar personalities, and those who see each other for the first time. At the first meeting, a handshake can say a lot about the nature or intentions of a person:

• Power and superiority. The hand of the dominant personality covers the interlocutor’s hand with the palm down.
• Humility. With a submissive handshake, the hand is palm up.
• Equality. When demonstrating equality, both palms are in the same upright position.

There are certain types of handshakes that should never be put into practice:

• Cold and sticky hand. Sluggish handshake people associate with a weak character.
• Overly strong handshake says that a person seeks to dominate and control the situation. Sometimes this technique is used by weak individuals who try to disguise their self-doubt.
• Strong finger squeeze. This technique is used by aggressive, self-controlling individuals.
• Fingertip shaking. Such a handshake most often occurs due to the unwillingness to let the interlocutor into the personal comfort zone.
• Hand stretching. Such a handshake suggests that a person wants to take control of the situation and establish their own rules.
• Vertical shaking hands. With such a handshake, it is allowed to shake the interlocutor’s hand no more than seven times.

Having caught the look of the interlocutor, you can understand his true mood. Often, the eyes can say much more than speech and gestures.

The pupils of a person can change in size with a change in mood. In an emotionally excited person, they can become four times wider. Narrowed pupils indicate irritation or anger.

Raised eyebrows are a standard greeting signal for another person. You can use this gesture in order to please the person you are talking to. Lowered eyebrows indicate an aggressive mood or desire to dominate. A look from underneath speaks of humility of man.

To establish contact with a person during a conversation, it is advisable not to look away from him for a long time. In order to achieve mutual understanding with the interlocutor, it is necessary that your views meet from sixty to seventy percent of the entire conversation. When analyzing a direct look, do not forget about the size of the pupils of the interlocutor.

Smiling people seem more open and friendly, which, of course, is conducive to communication. With a smile, you demonstrate to the interlocutor that you are friendly and do not pose a threat.

A false smile also betrays its duration. A fake smile stays on the face much longer than a sincere one. In addition, fake facial expressions are more pronounced on the left side of the face. There are four most common types of smiles:

• Pursed lips. With such a smile, the lips form an almost straight line, while the teeth are hidden. Such a signal most often indicates that a person does not want to share some information or do not want to voice their opinion.
• Facial expression curve. One part of the face in this case can express a smile, and the other has a completely opposite expression. Such facial expressions indicate sarcasm and insincerity.
• Open mouth. With a smile with an open mouth, people try to achieve the effect of smiling eyes or make a good impression and cause a positive reaction.
• Smile when looking from underneath typical for women who want to attract the attention of the opposite sex, to show their defenselessness and playfulness.

Try to never communicate with people with arms crossed. This gesture signals a negative mood or defensive position.Even if you periodically cross your arms over your chest for the reason that you are just so comfortable, this gesture will still be perceived as protection and secrecy.

An even more negative gesture is the arms crossed on the chest and clenched into fists. This signal indicates not only protection, but also an aggressive mood. A kind of crossed arms is a gesture of grasping the forearms. Such a signal indicates a person’s uncertainty.

Partial crossing of hands is used, as a rule, by women. This technique looks like a hug: one hand covers the hand and grabs the other hand. Such a signal can be interpreted as internal fear or self-doubt.

Everyone wants to learn to express their thoughts beautifully and effectively interact with other people. For this, it is not necessary to attend special courses and trainings. You can regularly hone your communication skills yourself with simple exercises.

Start practicing daily to correctly express your thoughts to an inanimate subject. You can make a conversation plan and stick to it. Exercise will be most welcome for individuals who are embarrassed to make contact with other people.

It is necessary to start a conversation with strangers as often as possible. You can set yourself the goal of communicating daily with at least five strangers. It can be casual acquaintances, neighbors on a porch or service workers. This practice will save you from the inability to start a conversation first.

If you can’t overcome your inner fear first to start a conversation with a stranger, practice phone calls. You can call the store and find out the opening hours or check the availability of any product.

Learn to compliment. It is necessary to set the task to praise each interlocutor during the day. When making compliments, it is important to be sincere. No need to praise a person for those qualities that annoy or repel you in him. Take a close look at the person and note in him those qualities that really attract you.

Practice more in front of the mirror. Think of a poem or a short story. Stand opposite the mirror in a confident pose: straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, look at your reflection in the eyes. Then, without changing your posture, imagine that inside you is sitting a completely different, notorious and pinched personality.

Speak a thoughtful speech on behalf of a self-doubt person. Then you will need to change the position. You can stoop, make an unpleasant facial expression. Now you need to imagine that inside you is an interesting, confident person. Repeat your speech on behalf of a confident person. This exercise will help you to catch barely noticeable intonations and facial expressions of an internally confident and insecure person.

Learn to join the company. Listen to a group of people at work, school or party. Try to get closer and keep the conversation going. Do not forget to pay attention to the gestures and facial expressions of the group members in order to understand how desirable your presence in the conversation is.

When communicating with people, don't be afraid to fail. The fight against internal fears and complexes is a rather lengthy process. To make mistakes when communicating with people is quite normal and natural. Do not stop there, continue to exercise regularly and eventually you will learn effective communication skills.

To learn how to communicate with people, see the next video.