Pathological jealousy: what is it, what are the reasons and how to get rid?

Pathological jealousy goes beyond general psychology and is the subject of study by clinical and forensic psychiatrists. And all because this is a very painful condition that is dangerous both for the jealous man himself and for the people around him. If you do nothing, then it can destroy your personality, destroy your life, cause a tragedy, which is sparingly reported in the criminal chronicle. In this article we will look at how and why paranoid jealousy develops, how to recognize and overcome it.

The people believe that if he is jealous, then he loves. But in the case of pathological jealousy, this is not so. A person is constantly jealous, without reason or reason, common sense and reasonable arguments are alien to him. With his jealousy, he plagues himself and brings others to an extreme point, becomes suspicious, aggressive, uncontrollable.

Is it a disease? Of course, this is a pathological state of the psyche, which some experts in the field of forensic and clinical psychiatry attribute to delusional disorders. Almost always this nonsense is accompanied by paranoid disturbances - the jealous not only suspects the soulmate of treason, but is also sure that they lower the potency in food and drink, they want to poison him, kill him. Some are even sure that the partner is cheating at night, during sleep.

Officially, pathological jealousy refers to the delusions of persecution. Often it is the initial sign of schizophrenia or accompanies psychosis.

Ordinary jealousy is considered the psychoreaction that nature has created to preserve the population. In other words, the jealous tries to prevent the transfer of genes to the opponent.Pathological jealousy goes beyond this mechanism, it develops according to its own, painful laws.

In psychiatry and psychology, pathological jealousy has been studied for a long time. Jealous people who raise their feelings and suspicions to the degree of paranoia are found in all nations, the disease does not depend on race, age, social status and income level, or gender. Often, the violation is accompanied by concomitant alcohol or drug dependence, but this is not a prerequisite.

The pathological form of jealousy occurs on average in 2% of the population. These are only diagnosed cases, and how many jealous people never come to a psychiatrist, considering their behavior normal! The statistics are disappointing: 34% of the men who killed their wives, called the infidelity of the second half as the reason for the act. The facts of adultery, according to investigations, were confirmed in only 30% of such cases, that is, most women died due to the infidelity invented by the partner. Among women who killed husbands, only 15% of criminals referred to infidelity. The facts of male infidelity in these cases were confirmed identically - 32%.

In forensic psychiatry, if such a disorder is found in a person, if it is proved that such jealousy is dangerous for others, a jealous person has the right to be placed on forced psychiatric treatment.

The most famous pathological jealousy are Bluebeard, Othello. The disease itself in some psychiatric benefits is called Othello syndrome.

The reasons why a state of irrational jealousy has developed deserve special attention, because they appear not just like that, not spontaneously. Preconditions for delusional paranoid mental disorder occur long before the first manifestation, and knowledge of risk factors will help to avoid mistakes even before an official marriage is made or partners decide to live together under one roof. If you look closely at the partner more carefully, then the prerequisites can be noticed in advance.

Most often, people with extremely low self-esteem become pathological jealousy. If a person is panicky afraid of being alone - this is also an alarming “bell”. The future jealous even in the candy-bouquet period constantly asks and clarifies how the partner feels for him, because he doubts the sincerity of feelings. Men and women with reduced sexual functions (this also includes total infertility) have very high chances of becoming paranoid jealous in the future.

Other reasons can be described as follows:

• the presence of severe psychological trauma in the past associated with betrayal and betrayal (we talked about parting due to the real infidelity of the partner, after which it was difficult for the person to recover, needed medical and psychiatric help);
• the presence of brain injuries, after which violations of its functions developed (epilepsy), as well as post-traumatic and congenital mental disorders: schizophrenia of the paranoid type, depression;
• negative childhood experience (parents refused, raising by grandmothers or in an orphanage, etc.);
• alcoholism, drunkenness, even if they were in the past, but cured, and today a person does not drink alcohol;
• vascular disorders in the brain;
• hormonal disorders;
• sexual dysfunctions (frigidity, impotence);
• the onset of menopause in women.

If, with ordinary, generally normal jealousy, suspicions and feelings in one of the partners begin in the presence of certain direct or indirect evidence, that is, facts, then with irrational jealousy, a person does not need reasons.He himself invents events, facts, rivals or rivals, he himself “cultivates” his sufferings, and all attempts by a partner to explain that this has nothing to do with reality are perceived solely as a lie.

Even receiving convincing evidence of spouse or spouse's loyalty, the pathological jealous does not calm down, he sincerely does not believe in their reliability, believes that those who provide such data are in collusion with his unfaithful partner.

Signs of such a mental disorder most often occur after the age of 28 years. According to the observations of psychiatrists, there are ages that are the most “dangerous” in terms of the development of symptoms - 30, 35, 37, 42, 48, 50 years and older. The elderly (after 65–70 years) are even more jealous than the young, especially for women who are in menopause.

A jealous of any age is characterized by a predominance of the personal over the public. He only cares about his emotions, many events of family life (successes of children, problems of parents) pass by him, he does not delve into them. But he can spend hours talking about his own suffering about his allegedly walking partner and his supposedly insidious deeds and intentions.

In the fair sex, most often the state of delusional paranoid jealousy develops against the background of postpartum depression or against the background of the onset of menopause. It is possible that a serious violation will develop due to infertility or some external changes that cannot be corrected (obesity, cosmetic defects of the face and body after injuries, accidents, burns, disability). But other scenarios are possible: the disease has always been, since childhood, just manifested itself later.

Women with pathological jealousy are like super spies. They can tirelessly monitor their partner, check where and with whom he went, what messages and letters are in the phone or in the mail of her husband, who called him. Some install partner tracking programs; they can even go to the installation of covert surveillance cameras in his car and apartment. Total control. A man cannot take a step without the knowledge of his wife.

Among the stronger sexes, the state of pathological jealousy usually develops against the backdrop of a wide range of reasons, among which low self-esteem, life failures, and sexual dysfunctions are given last place. Most jealous people do not want to monitor and spy on a partner, although there are separate “instances” that do not disdain by any means. A characteristic manifestation is outbreaks of unmotivated aggression. A man begins to scream, break down, open his arms for no apparent reason, spontaneously and suddenly.

Husband-Othello ceases to show tender feelings for his wife, he goes to bed separately, avoids sexual intimacy, courtship, dodges hugs and kisses, often reproaches his spouse. He seeks to establish control over his wife’s social circle: he insists that she not communicate with friends, colleagues, and that she arrives home from work on time (accurate to the minute).

Men quite often become tyrants: they can engage in assault, restrict the freedom of the wife, closing her in the apartment, select the phone. Often, such men require detailed financial reports from the spouse for each penny spent by her. They can blackmail children and even threaten to kill her and her supposedly lover.

Like any other mental illness, jealousy for no reason has its stages and manifestations. Psychiatrists distinguish three stages.

• First, she is the most inconspicuous, hidden. With her, the jealous man is still just having crazy ideas, at this stage he can still be convinced with arguments, though not for long.
• Second: there are obsessions, arguments are no longer perceived. There is a desire to control the partner, but it still causes shame and embarrassment, gradually the jealous person loses control over his desires.
• Third: the person is completely sure that the partner is cheating on him. There is aggression, a person becomes dangerous.

Forms of the disease are classified according to the degree and nature of the symptoms.

• Manic - it’s impossible to convince a jealous person, he firmly believes in betrayal of a partner, is aggressive and inadequate. It is this form that most often becomes the cause of the murder of a partner.
• Depressive - a jealous man withdraws into himself, avoids communication with a spouse or spouse, tries to isolate himself from a partner at any cost.
• Spontaneous - a person “explodes” from any careless word or act of a partner, attacks of jealousy recede as suddenly as they began.
• Alcohol - Attacks of jealousy occur only when intoxicated. At the same time, gradually a person begins to specifically take alcohol to once again “suffer” and torment his partner, as he feels the need for these emotions.
• Paranoid - the form is sophisticated and very insidious. A person suffers from paranoia about the betrayal of his partner, he sets up ingenious “traps” and adjusts situations in which the other half must “get pierced”, organize surveillance.

Irrational jealousy is dangerous both for the one who is jealous and for the one who is jealous. Becoming a client of a psychiatric clinic is equally at the risk of both. Other hazards include:

• risk of suicide of one of the partners;
• beating and disability of one of the partners;
• murder;
• psychological trauma for children growing up in this family.

It is impossible to cope with such jealousy independently, through confidential conversation. This is a disease, and should be treated by a qualified doctor - psychiatrist. After collecting an anamnesis and a test system, a specialist will establish the type and severity of the disorder and help to cure it with medications, hypnotherapy, NLP, the main thing is that the jealous person agrees to the therapy. Practice shows that getting a jealous person to see a doctor is an almost impossible task.

Is there a way out? Of course have. The victim partner can stay close and behave in this way: not to allow situations that annoy the jealous, not to be late for home. Psychologists advise not to lie or make excuses; this will only aggravate the conflict.

See how to get rid of jealousy and how to make relationships happy in the next video.