Often girls unbalance a strong sense of jealousy. Young people are interested in knowing why it arises, how to deal with it, whether it is possible to control yourself and adequately overcome unpleasant situations.
Why does jealousy arise?
A jealous woman is often overwhelmed by discontent with a partner, to whom she is intimately attracted. A jealous girl suspects the infidelity of a guy buried in a computer or mobile phone. Communication through social networks and instant messengers allows men to increase their social circle, find entertainment without leaving their homes.
Jealousy is a destructive feeling that corrodes a person from within. Paralysis of the will, disgusting mood, strong attachment to a friend brings a jealous person to a neurosis.
Uncontrolled jealousy annoys the chosen one. A disastrous feeling most often leads the couple to break. A girl can’t take a walk with her young man. When an interesting person appears, she starts to look at him in dismay. A joint visit to any event makes her very worried: whether a pretty girl will come there.
First you need to figure out why jealousy arises and to whom: to all in a row or only to his girlfriend. Direct and indirect causes of jealousy can be distinguished. The first type means a real betrayal of a young man. The girl found him in the arms of a rival or in bed.
Psychologists describe some indirect causes.
- Distrust arises due to too short a period of communication or an already forgiven misconduct.The reason for jealousy may be rumors about a guy’s love of love or a friend’s accidentally dropped phrase about a girl in whose company he was recently seen.
- Poor sex or a lack of intimate relationships makes the girl think about the presence of a rival. A more emotional person will cheat herself, draw vivid pictures of treason in her imagination.
- Low self-esteem creates uncertainty and fear of loneliness. Any lateness of a young man makes a girl very worried. She imagines that the guy is currently sitting in a cafe with a lady of unearthly beauty. And the girl waiting for him is not worth the nail of a beautiful woman.
- The sad past of the girl can also cause jealousy. The betrayal of the previous guy suggests the infidelity of the current chosen one.
- Great expectations were not met. The girl was waiting, but did not wait for romantic dates, surprises. It begins to seem to her that attention is being given to another lady.
- Suspicion may arise from one's own suspiciousness. The girl is waiting for an offer, but he is not. She feels that the young man has several contenders for the honorary title of wife.
The sources may be:
- lack of fatherly love;
- copying the scandalous behavior of the mother, who arranged the scene of jealousy for the father;
- fear of being an unnecessary, abandoned, humiliated woman.
In the behavior of jealous ladies, it is easy to detect obvious signs of jealousy.
- Total surveillance of his beloved is manifested in endless calls to the guy in order to find out where and with whom he is at the moment. Viewing the correspondence of a young man on social networks, checking his mobile phone has a detrimental effect on relationships. The endless search for a rival and the desire to expose a traitor brings a lot of torment and torment to the jealous woman herself.
- Unreasonable charges of treason are regularly brought to the partner. The reason for jealousy can be any action a friend. The young man made a surprise to the girl - she immediately begins to suspect that the guy is trying to make amends. Should the chosen one linger - she thinks he is with her lover, went to take a shower - gets ready for the upcoming date.
- Some girls are capable of causing a grand scandal in a public place. This behavior is unacceptable. Not shy in expressions, a woman can insult and humiliate her boyfriend and her alleged rival. Hysterical persons grab the hair of a representative of the opposite sex, sometimes, who happened to be completely by chance near the object of jealousy and not having anything to do with someone else's young man.
- Jealousy for work most often arises from pretty co-workers. Any delay in work causes a flurry of claims and unfounded charges.
How to stop being jealous?
Jealousy is the most common cause of separation. Often, a girl is jealous of her beloved man baselessly. A jealous woman with her whole being recognizes her own failure, weakness, vulnerability. She shows low self-esteem. The behavior makes it clear to the young man that in front of him is a worthless woman. Tantrums and showdowns, a girl can push her beloved man into the arms of another with her own hands.
Sometimes a young man lingers on social networks for a long time. This does not mean that he is looking for a new partner. It is possible that the guy has a childhood friend with whom he sometimes communicates. You must trust your lover.
A jealous girl wants to tie her beloved man to herself. Do not recommend this.
It is impossible to possess the soul, body, thoughts of another person. The guy is not the property of the girl. Only he can decide with whom to build a relationship.
Acceptance of this fact will help overcome insidious feeling. It is better to let the young man go, give him freedom, having felt that the guy will again reach for his girlfriend. He will not want to lose her.An increase in self-esteem in one’s own eyes will enable the girl to overcome her distrust of the chosen one.
Painstaking work on oneself will help get rid of jealousy. The girl, confident in her attractiveness and her own strength, will not be infinitely jealous. First you need to accept yourself and love the way it is.
Turning herself into a self-sufficient person, the young lady will forever get rid of the fear of being alone.
Pointless pain, baseless jealousy will go away forever.
The ability to value spiritual freedom and having one's own personal space contributes to the understanding of another person. A self-confident woman will not paint scenes of treason in her imagination.
She reasoned like this:
- the guy is late for a date - traffic jams, long waiting for public transport;
- Remained on overtime work - emergency, reports, many clients (and not solitude with a beautiful colleague in a secluded place);
- decided to relax with friends - well done, you have to, after all, once you need to relax, relax.
The girl at this time can visit her parents, meet with her friends, complete the pending affairs. But in the next meeting with the young man they will share their impressions, tell each other about the time spent.
Jealousy can arise not only in relation to his childhood friend.
To friends
She doesn’t like spending time with her friends. The feeling that he spends much more time with them than with her causes a feeling of jealousy. The young man’s only friend also annoys the jealous. She does not want to come to terms with their many years of friendship. Do not destroy established traditions. Doing other things, meeting friends prevent satiety in relationships.
Friends are not to blame for the fact that the girl lacks the attention of a young man. The problem is solved by frank conversation. We must offer the chosen one more time to spend together.
It should be remembered: the guy will cease to devote much time to friends, jealousy for work will begin.
The best way out of this situation will be to get rid of a feeling of jealousy in yourself, to learn to be in harmony with yourself.
To other girls
A harmless kiss on the cheek of a classmate, classmate can cause a storm of indignation. A flurry of accusations will fall on the young man.
If a girl notices a young man’s increased interest in his girlfriend, then do not rush to conclusions. Maybe the girlfriend feels lonely at the party, the guy decided to support her. Aggressive behavior will only complicate the situation.
To the past
It is pointless to be jealous of the past: it is impossible to change it. You need to live in the present day and thoughts about the future. Excessive information about the former relationship of a young man can cause a strong sense of jealousy. Mental comparisons of herself with the previous darling lead to severe mental trauma.
Many women are tormented by the fear of a lover returning to an old relationship, especially if the young man remembers the previous darling with tenderness and longing.
In this case, it is better to show empathy, to support your boyfriend. Everyone can be sad about a past life.
This does not mean his desire to resume meetings with the former. It is necessary to develop self-confidence and drive away all doubts.
It is quite another matter if your chosen one continues to maintain relations with an ex-girlfriend: calls back, correspondence in social networks.
This is worth fighting. It is necessary to call a lover for a frank conversation.
You should ask in a calm tone if he will be pleased if you renew your friendship with your ex-boyfriend. Invite him to stop meeting with an old acquaintance, communication via messengers and phone calls.
How to get rid of jealousy after treason?
A deep heart wound will bleed after reliable information about a guy’s betrayal. The soil leaves underfoot, the world collapses, the offense torments.Misunderstanding a mean act does not allow you to live in peace. Painful jealousy overwhelms the soul. It’s hard for a girl to control herself, but one can learn to restrain anger.
There are several ways to resolve the situation:
- humble oneself, pretend that there was no betrayal, suppress the feeling of jealousy in oneself;
- after analyzing the situation, it is clear that the young man who returned to you is comfortable, interesting, good with you, therefore, there is no reason for jealousy;
- distract yourself with wonderful music, going to the cinema, theater, museum, you can even cry alone with yourself, and then continue your life in the usual way.
You can seek help from a psychologist. It will help to cope with uncontrollable emotions.
There are many cases when a girl herself provokes a guy to cheat. First he makes unfounded accusations, searches for evidence of treason, scandal. The partner makes excuses. No explanation is accepted. The guy is unpleasant.
Subsequently, his experiences are transformed into indifference. There is a cooling of feelings in a relationship, a gradual alienation of a partner. In the company of friends, a young man rests in his soul. Meeting with another girl leads to the emergence of a new relationship. A jealous girl is left alone with her jealousy.
Psychologists advice
It’s hard to live with jealousy. You need to talk frankly with your chosen one about your concern. Let him speak out to the end. No need to make him make excuses for the little things. Relations must be sorted out calmly, delicately, without claims and insults. It is necessary to show independence and objectivity, not to depend on the opinions of others, not to attach importance to gossip.
It is extremely important to increase self-esteem, to gain self-confidence.
Overweight prevents you - take care of yourself: go on diet food, visit the gym, sports sections. Do not like your own hair - do another hairstyle, change the color of your hair. Do not like nails - go for a manicure, change the nail design.
The girl should keep her room in perfect order. It is necessary to monitor the well-groomed hair. Clothing should sit on the woman carefully. A girl who has femininity, wisdom is pleasant to young people.
It is advisable to devote several hours a day to self-development. Need to read more books, improve. Passion for cognitive programs will increase your intellectual level. A confident, calm, radiant with happiness lady will not want to be jealous. Self-sufficient girl is respected by young people. Your boyfriend is no exception. He will be happy to be next to a sincerely loving himself and his girlfriend.
See how to deal with jealousy and stop being jealous of your boyfriend in the next video.