Divorce

How to tell a husband or wife about a divorce?

How to tell a husband or wife about a divorce?
Content
  1. Reasons for breaking up a relationship
  2. How to inform a man?
  3. How to tell a woman?
  4. Psychologists advice

Divorce is a tragedy for both spouses. Some suffer greatly from experiences. But this is already happening after the breakup. A more painful situation arises when one of the partners in the marriage tries to inform the other half of the upcoming separation forever. How to overcome these difficulties when you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

Reasons for breaking up a relationship

Many people wonder why people do not live together, because when their family was created, they were happy. What happened now and what exactly led them to make a fatal decision? There are answers to these questions. They may be different. A lot in this situation depends on the partners themselves and their characters.

Here are some examples.

  • The couple decided to divorce because of unfulfilled hopes and expectations. For example, a woman married a promising young man. She expected her husband to become a businessman, earn fame and a lot of money. But her hopes were not realized. Her husband's gray hair is multiplying, but he never became the top leader. Now she constantly reproaches her husband for breaking his life. This behavior causes the husband to hate his grunting spouse. The result is a divorce.
  • In another case, the husband could not get what he had expected earlier from his wife. When the life began together, it turned out that the woman was completely unable to conduct business. Her carelessness annoys her husband, and he expresses dissatisfaction. The scattered things and the lack of full lunches and dinners only enhance a bad mood. Negativity builds up like a snowball and leads to a break in relations.
  • The alcoholism of one of the marriage partners also contributes to divorce. No one will tolerate near him a man who drinks money and behaves inappropriately. Children and wife are suffering and ashamed of a drinking relative. The patience of the spouse (s) will someday end, and the marriage will break up.
  • A tyrant husband is another reason for a woman to file for divorce. From constant reproaches and bullying children suffer. The wife will endure such a state of affairs for a long time, but only if she has nowhere to go. But she will eventually find a way out of the situation and leave her despot husband.
  • The situation may develop in a negative scenario if the wife is a careerist, and everything in the house is done according to her instructions. The husband and children live, as if according to a script written by a selfish wife. She does not accept any advice that comes from her spouse. What happens without her knowledge becomes sedition. As a result, if a woman does not correct the situation, everything can end badly - family ties will be broken.
  • Different interests are another factor leading to divorce. One of the spouses is a spiritualized person with many intellectual interests. Another - is completely not interested in anything and all the time lies on the sofa near the TV and swears. What future awaits completely different people in marriage? None, and divorce is inevitable.

    No wonder they say that living life is not a field to go over. How many different obstacles and troubles will meet on your way. Not every person can overcome them. Therefore, no one is safe from a divorce from his beloved soulmate. And if such a tragedy does happen, then do not fold your hands and go with the flow. One must be able to get out of trouble with dignity.

    How to inform a man?

    Divorce is a stressful situation that can cause unpredictable emotions. If you report a breakdown in relations to an unprepared person for this event, then his first reaction will be negative.

    Instinctively, he will want to hurt you in every way and count for his unvalued feelings. It is possible that in retaliation he will answer with a categorical refusal. Well, what else will be just that. In another case, the offended husband will arrange a scene with assault and shame throughout the district.

    Think about your every step before telling your mate about a divorce. Here you need to proceed with caution and take into account the individual character.

    For example, a husband is a home despot. From his antics and negative reactions to everything that happens, his wife and children suffer. Battering in such a family is the norm. Every day, the spouse is subjected to violence, both moral and physical. Aggressive behavior has no end and edge. What to do in this case? Of course, before you talk about the upcoming break inadequate person, you need to prepare well. It is necessary to take into account all sorts of options from the material part to moral ethics. After all, the news of a divorce can provoke a completely unpredictable reaction from a representative of the stronger sex. He can commit an irreparable act and resort to violence.

    You must first find suitable housing and leave home, while taking the children with you (if any). Then, inform the ex-husband of the divorce in writing. No matter how you do it - through a courier or through a social network, the main thing is that this will protect you and your loved ones from reprisal.

    By the way, you can just call and tell the bad news. So you will be safe. Further, having learned the reaction of the former spouse, you will be able to evaluate your further actions.

    But at this stage you should not relax. The offended husband may seek meetings with you or begin to harbor plans for revenge. Yes, such individuals are capable of everything in order to prevent divorce. An inadequate person is unpredictable in his actions. Therefore, these actions must be predicted so as not to endanger.

    You may need to temporarily leave from the place where you permanently reside, to another city and stay there until everything settles down. Do your best to preserve your health and life.

    But how can I tell my husband about divorce if he is a good person? A woman is tormented by conscience, and she falls into a depressed state because she understands the seriousness of what is happening.

    To reduce the impact of a stressful situation and not to cause a strong insult to a once close person, try to act delicately. To talk, choose a time so that no one bothers you, and say directly that your feelings have exhausted themselves. Explain that you did everything possible to save your family, but you cannot command your heart.

    You can no longer deceive yourself and your ex-lover. At the end of the conversation, be sure to thank the man who lived with you for some time, for a wonderful relationship, for his sensitivity. Of course, this will not play a special role, but it will soften the situation. After that, leave home so as not to leave hope for the restoration of relations.

    Your husband is a very impressionable person. You perfectly understand that the spouse loves you very much and does not represent life outside of marriage. If you are afraid to inflict a mortal grudge on your soulmate, you need to make sure that the person does not make a hasty decision about suicide.

    In this environment, it is necessary to act extremely carefully. First hint about the breakup, then look at the reaction of the husband. If you see that she will be stormy, and your spouse is against the development of such events, then leave your actions “for later”.

    It is important to take time to give you the opportunity to get used to the thought of a break. Until you have made a final decision, behave with your husband quite coldly, but do not be rude and do not make scandals. Just hint at the fact that your relationship has long been exhausted. Do not allow intimacy.

    Sooner or later, your soulmate will come to terms with the fact that between you there is no longer the connection that was before. When you once again hint at a breakup, your husband may not mind.

    An important role in divorce is played by the question of who the children will remain with. Usually they stay with their mother. But the offended spouse will be able to manipulate you if she begins to blackmail me by taking away your children.

    In these circumstances, you need to proceed with caution. Try not to annoy and not anger her husband, not to argue with him. On the contrary, it is necessary to agree that children may possibly stay with dad.

    However, one should remind the man that raising the younger generation is not easy. Toddlers and adolescents need every minute attention, and if the father is at work all the time, then he will not be able to give the necessary education to the children.

    It is also necessary to add that your spouse will certainly find a life partner. It is possible that the new lover may not agree with the presence of children and require that they be given to their mother.

    Next, be sure to explain to your spouse that after a divorce, he will in no case lose contact with his native child. We must sincerely assure the man that communication with the guys will continue, despite the fact that they will live separately. Usually men, having thought a little, agree with such arguments.

    How to tell a woman?

    If you are going to get a divorce, then telling your wife about the breakup will not be easy. The reasons for this may be a great many. It all depends on the temperament and character of the woman with whom you lived for some time in marriage.

    As a rule, a man himself decides on a divorce if he meets another woman. In other cases, the intention of parting gradually comes to both spouses. However, often an unpleasant conversation is “delayed” for an indefinite period. Problems increase, and then the man takes full responsibility for himself and reports a divorce.

    So that your wife does not fall into a depressive stupor, try to talk to her correctly. This will make it easier for you.

    And how to do this, the following tips will help.

    Your wife is autocratic. Everything in the house is under her control, including all your actions. Finally, you are tired of the status of "henpecked", and you decided to divorce. How to tell your spouse about this? Be careful. Usually such women do not forgive betrayal, and breaking up relationships is in some way a betrayal. The reaction of the fairer sex will be unpredictable if you report the news of a divorce suddenly. Get ready for this event. First find the escape route.

    If you do not have parents or extra housing, rent a temporary housing. Believe me, it will be better for you. Then inform your spouse in writing of the breakup. You can do this by phone or through a social network.

    When you will be explaining to your ex-wife, then try not to be led during her conversation on her provocations and carefully select the words. At the end of the conversation (letter), thank your spouse for the years lived together.

    There are many reasons for delaying the decision to divorce. One of them is when the couple married happily ever after. In this situation, a man is tormented by conscience. In this case, do not delay the proposal for divorce. Otherwise, you can get into an unpleasant story, morally tormenting yourself and your ex-wife.

    Pick the right time and tell your spouse what you are filing for divorce. In this case, do not bustle and come up with various stories. Speak simply and honestly.

    After an open dialogue, promise your ex-spouse that you will help her in every possible way, and also do not forget about your joint children. It must be explained that you and your wife will remain forever family, as you have lived a significant part of your life in marriage. Tell her that it’s just that your relationship will now go to a different level. This will reassure the offended woman.

    You are afraid that your spouse will be “morally killed” by the news that you decided to divorce her. In a more severe case, it can reach suicide. These circumstances make things very difficult, but you should not change your mind and continue to pretend that you have a strong cell of society. This will only make you worse. Sooner or later, your indecision will lead to dire consequences.

    Act wisely and carefully. To start, just talk with your spouse and in a comic form, offer to get a divorce. If you see a peculiar reaction: tears, tantrum, then suspend your actions.

    After a while, when the spouse calms down, continue to fulfill your intentions. Gradually, but surely, make your relationship cold. Refuse sex and act independently. Over time, the woman herself will get bored of such a relationship, and perhaps she herself will ask you for a divorce.

    In any case, when you start talking with your wife about the final breakup, try to assure her that she will not be left alone. You will always be in touch and close. Such assurances will reassure your ex-wife, and she will not cause you any obstacles.

    Psychologists advice

    When divorcing, you need to remember that psychology will certainly help to act correctly, but also remember that this issue has material aspects. They are capable of undermining your peace of mind and leading to depression. Therefore, act in your own way, but rely on some tips.

    • In order not to get into trouble during a divorce, try to prepare in advance all the necessary documents.
    • Think about who your joint children will stay with. Usually they stay with their mother.
    • If a man decided to keep the children after a divorce, then he should know about all the difficulties that await him after making such a decision. No mother will give the child back, so get ready to confront the ex-spouse.

    Maybe your decision is better to change, since raising children for a man is not an easy task. However, the cases are different, perhaps your intention was conscious.

    • If you have made the final decision and you want to tell your wife (husband) about it, select the right time and place for this. Make sure your children are not around.
    • Do not delay the talk time. From this, everyone will only get worse.
    • If you began to state the essence of the problem, then speak clearly and clearly so that your spouse (s) have no doubts.
    • You see that the spouse reacts too emotionally to the news of the divorce, try to calm her (him) and don’t “wind up” yourself. Otherwise, you will plunge into complete negativity, and your decisions will be distorted by anger and abuse.
    • An important issue is your jointly acquired property. Try not to be greedy and share it according to conscience and justice. Do not forget to consider the interests of your children.

    Remember that making a decision about divorce is difficult for both men and women. Gender and age do not matter in this matter. It hits the psyche a lot.

    Try to minimize the negative side of the issue. Be tolerant of each other and remember the interests of your children.

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    Information provided for reference purposes. Do not self-medicate. For health, always consult with a specialist.

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