In a two-person relationship, it is often not all cloudless. There are times when you have to solve problems and find compromises. And someone begins to be interested in the question: what does the expression "From love to hate, one step." It should be ascertained whether there are any grounds for such a statement.
Appearance of utterance
The history of this statement is rooted in the distant past. And no source can say exactly when this expression appeared, who specifically expressed it. Some attribute authorship to Aristotle, others to Seneca. Still others consider him a Russian proverb.
Since such a phrase is quite well-known, it should have been mentioned in any winged sayings or in the works of these philosophers. However, nothing of the kind has been discovered so far. Therefore, sticking to one version is difficult. The fact that from hate to love, one step was mentioned in his poems by the Russian poet Alexander Pushkin. And in everyday life, we often refer to this expression.
One thing is clear for sure. Wise ancestors do not say anything just like that. From love to hate, one step is the truth verified by life itself. This means that love passes for a variety of reasons, hatred remains. And most often this does not happen immediately and spontaneously, the negative accumulates a certain time, and then there is no way to cope with your emotions. As a result, only 1 step remains, having taken which, many can no longer return to their previous feelings. The psychology of a man in love is such that at first he does not notice the shortcomings of the partner, and this applies to both men and women.
Sometimes people tend to be mistaken, at some point the “pink glasses” fall off, and a loved one begins to be perceived through the prism of their own requests.
Why is this happening?
Many people wonder where feelings go and why. It often happens that just yesterday everything was fine, and today love burst like a soap bubble, leaving a very unpleasant aftertaste in the form of hatred. There are many reasons for the origin of this feeling.
Often there is a situation when in a couple only one person loves, the second allows himself to love. This second one takes all signs of attention, good deeds, positive emotions that a loving person gives him. But at the same time he doesn’t even bother to answer the same. Over time, the energy of a loving person runs low. Not seeing any reaction and at least minimal return, he begins to think about the situation and his whole life, begins to get tired. And then comes the feeling of powerlessness, the inability to correct the situation. From here comes anger, which can later develop into hatred.
There is an option when love just passes, so being together is not so interesting. The lack of vivid sensations and positive emotions makes life boring and dull. As a result, irritation begins to build up, it accumulates and spills into all the same hatred.
A frequent and commonplace reason is a very bad deed of the second half. And most often it is either betrayal or treason. In most cases, this becomes impossible to forgive.
But even if people try to step over this and move on, hatred wins over time, and love fades into the background or disappears altogether.
Another point is when for some reason we are not satisfied with the behavior and actions of the partner. Lacking his attention, some important steps, it begins to seem that he doesn’t really like that. Understanding everything and talking directly lacks courage. At some point, love for oneself comes first. And then a feeling of hatred wakes up to a loved one.
A common reason when this happens in the family is life. Some responsibilities and tasks take all the time of one of the two partners. And the second does not want to participate in this process. Such a situation will not develop for a long time without causing irritation. Any patience comes to an end.
The time comes when only anger remains in the soul of the first partner. It is changing: new habits appear that cause family discomfort and cause problems in the second half. At this point, hatred begins to manifest. After all, the previous course of life has been disrupted, everything has changed for the worse, and a specific person is to blame.
Another scenario where hatred is born in the heart is: one partner throws the other, leaving no hope of returning. In this case, the one who loves a lot and cannot imagine life without his soul mate begins to try to return everything. After making sure that this is impossible, he harbors a grudge. In the end, his desire for revenge comes first.
And sometimes the reason comes from outside. This happens when someone tries to get into the relationship of two people and destroy everything. This is expressed in the fact that one of the couple receives unpleasant information about a loved one, which in fact does not have any soil under it. But the imagination cannot be stopped. It begins to draw the most terrible pictures, as a result of which negative emotions boil by themselves. Clarification of relations begins, mutual resentment arises, which leads to a collapse.
Too high demands of one of the partners can also be the reason leading to destructive emotions. Such a person usually does not want to understand his partner, as well as the fact that throughout life it is impossible to remain impeccable and fulfilling any desires.Everyone has mood swings, problems that need to be addressed, trouble at work and other situations. When a partner to whom excessive demands are made, in fact, begins to not meet the far-fetched criteria, irritation arises. And if you can’t do everything in your own way, a feeling of disappointment appears, and then hatred.
Anyway, but each couple in love has its own story and their own relationships, which are born, developed, and then lead to such a result. And someone should take responsibility, take the first step and help the other change or change with him.
Another option is also possible, for example, to finish everything and try to quickly get away from unpleasant memories.
Is it possible to save a relationship?
It does not always happen that a relationship breaks down, but nothing can be returned. Relationships can sometimes be saved, but the desire should come from both partners. True, trying to do this will have to be in full force. And you will also need to be patient - the process is likely to drag on.
As noted above, the desire to save the relationship must come from both partners. One cannot do anything, no matter how hard he tries. Do not shift your blame onto the shoulders of another. You need to calmly understand everything together, sort through all the situations. You can even make claims to each other, but in the correct form in order to come to a certain decision together.
It so happens that it is very difficult for two people to do without the so-called arbiter. Then for help you can call a close relative, friend (girlfriend), and it is best to turn to a psychologist who will correctly look at the situation from the side and help to understand it.
If you take up the salvation of relations yourself, then you need to weigh everything properlyto understand if relationships need to be saved. It often happens that not only from love to hate is one step, but also from hate to love is a stone's throw away. And this means that with focused joint work there is a chance to return everything.
Maybe at first it’s worth agreeing to make concessions to each other, try not to do anything that annoys the partner.
The best option is to fix everything - try to tear yourself away from the daily rush. You can go camping, go on a trip, or at least just spend time together, going to nature or having a romantic evening. The main thing is to be alone in an atmosphere conducive to relaxation, harmony, peace of mind.
Another point is to find a joint business that will captivate and help to act together, and when you achieve a result, rejoice together.
A common hobby also helps to find common ground. Joint biking, skiing and ice skating, swimming - all this will help to get positive emotions. There should be as many pleasant moments as possible to be experienced together.
But all this works well only in those cases when there was a small breakdown in relations, claims to each other accumulated, there is a mutual desire to fix everything. If the problem is more serious and relations cannot be saved, you need, on the contrary, to quickly disperse in different directionsso as not to hurt each other even more, and try to start your personal life from scratch. Of course, the memories that hurt cannot disappear in an instant, but you need to learn this.
Psychologist's advice
When a situation arises that corresponds to the expression “From love to hate, one step”, there can be two development options. People either stay together and work to resolve the relationship, or they break up and everyone lives their own lives. Any decision can be mutual, and it can also happen that some path chooses only one. The other partner can only accept and act on the situation.If people decide to stay together, psychologists advise to calmly talk, find out why and at what point the failure occurred. But you should not delve too much into claims to each other. It is necessary to find strength in yourself to correct or change. It’s better to remember good moments, to feel how good it was once together. You can visit your favorite places or those where significant events happened.
It is imperative for each of the partners to consider their behavior and answer questions: Are the requirements for a loved one too high, maybe it is worth considering his desires and sometimes accepting his position. This is where situations where you can go camping together, visit a new place or a place you have come to love for a long time, come up with a hobby, do business together.
But if it happened that you had to leave and all this is fraught with painful memories, you need to pay attention to yourself. You can learn to meditate, do yoga or fitness, start going to the pool. Allocate your time in such a way that there is no time to be sad and sorry for yourself. It is also possible to go headlong into work if it is able to distract from negative thoughts. You should not stay alone for a long time, it is better to communicate with friends and relatives, trying not to discuss the same topic, but to find new interesting reasons for communication.
Besides, you need to be prepared for a new relationship. You should not think that life is over and nothing good will happen. On the contrary, one must open to all that is good and bright. Only then, pleasant events will surely find you.
But if you can’t find the strength to let go of the situation on your own, start living fully, then you can resort to the help of a specialist who will figure out the specific situation, help you look at it differently, change your attitude towards it and start moving on.