The rules of conduct are designed to regulate our daily lives in society, help us communicate, set the necessary framework, going beyond which leads at least to ignorance and bad manners, and the maximum - are regarded as deviant behavior. The rules governing social behavior are called etiquette.
What is it?
Etiquette - a set of rules of human behavior in relation to people in different life situations. There are five groups of basic etiquette rules:
- ability to present oneself - the rules relate to the appearance of a person: dress with taste, look after your skin and figure, keep your posture, walk beautifully, moderate and gesticulate to a place;
- the rule of speech and communication is the manner and tone of speech, the ability to correctly express your thoughts, greet, say goodbye, forgive, build a constructive conflict;
- table etiquette - accuracy at the table and during eating, the ability to properly use cutlery, set the table;
- rules of conduct in society - the ability to behave in public places (museums, theaters, libraries, hospitals and so on);
- Business Etiquette - the ability to build relationships with colleagues, superiors, the manner of conducting business politely and with respect for partners.
Everyone who is able to use the basic rules gives the impression of a well-mannered and polite person with whom it is pleasant to communicate and build relationships. They are ready to meet such a person, they are pleased to do a favor and fulfill his requests for help.
In addition to the main groups of etiquette, there are some gender differences in the rules of conduct for men, women and children.
Good manners for men
A well-mannered man should be tastefully and appropriately dressed. He politely communicates with the girl, his speech is calm, devoid of sharpness and high tone. He is always ready to help a woman and doesn’t matter if she knows him or not. For example, picking up heavy bags of groceries to a neighbor on the porch, opening the car door to a girl and giving her hand or skipping it first at the entrance is natural and easy for him. A man should be attentive to women's needs.
He is also polite with the male sex, does not show his superiority and does not boast. Conflicts are resolved by polite dialogue and do not climb the rampage first. He is fair with his subordinates, does not raise his voice, respects the work of other people, appreciates their time and energy. In a word, a worthy man.
Basic rules for men:
- if, when inviting someone to a restaurant, a man says: “I invite you,” this means that he is ready to pay for this person;
- while walking next to the woman, the man should be on the left side of her, and only military personnel can be on the right side to salute if necessary;
- you always need to open the door for a woman and let her in first;
- when leaving the car, you need to open the door and give a hand to a woman;
- help a woman put on a coat and temporarily hold her handbag if necessary.
Etiquette for women
All generally binding rules apply to women. A woman should be able to file herself - this applies both to the appearance and the manner of communication. The image should be chosen with taste and place.
A polite dialogue, tact, modesty, a straight back and a beautiful walk are the perfect option for a modern woman. She competently displays signs of attention to men.
Frank flirting with a man is inappropriate, as is excessive obsession, since such behavior is called "frivolity."
Communicating with a man, a woman should be respectful and considerate, but at the same time know her rights. She has the right to refuse obsessive signs of attention and warn a man that he is beyond the permissible.
From nature, more emotional women should skillfully hide negative emotions in society, avoid high tone, swear words and even excessive manifestation of joy.
Basic rules for women:
- You can’t be indoors in a hat and mittens, but you can wear a hat and gloves;
- bright makeup is appropriate only at parties;
- it is necessary to use perfume moderately: if a woman feels her perfume, it means that there is too much of it;
- it is necessary to observe moderation in jewelry: do not wear rings over gloves and mitts - you can put on a bracelet, while the maximum number of jewelry, including decorative buttons, is 13 items.
Standards of conduct for children
The first thing parents should remember is that the child imitates them.
Therefore, it is necessary to be the right example in everything for your child and carefully regulate his behavior in public places and on the playground.
Children from two and a half years usually welcome everyone and say goodbye with pleasure - such behavior should be encouraged in relation to familiar adults and children.
On the playground, their toys are always uninteresting until they are interested in another child. In this case, you need to offer children an exchange of toys for a while - so the children will learn to share more calmly and ask permission to play someone else's toy.
The fact that you can not make noise in the bus, run in the store and scream, should know any kid from 3-4 years old and even more so his parents.
As they grow older, children should inculcate the correct manner of communication with parents, adults, and in schools - with teachers and educators. Appropriate system of behavior for children from 6 years:
- it is impossible to interrupt and interfere with the conversation of adults, to dare and be rude to elders and teachers;
- politely and respectfully treat older people, help them on the street or in transport;
- to behave decently in public places: do not run around the store hall, do not scream in the museum and theater and similar places.
But teaching children the rules of etiquette, you must remember the safety rules: sometimes children can be too helpful, and criminals can take advantage of this.
General rules
The following are the generally accepted rules of conduct:
- Greeting - This is a necessary sign of courtesy to a friend or person with whom you need to make acquaintance. In addition, entering the room, you must say hello first.
- Parting. “Leaving in English” is indecent in our society. Therefore, closing the door behind you, you must definitely say goodbye.
- Thanks - for the service rendered to the maintenance staff, for the help of relatives, friends, to the stranger holding the elevator doors.
- Decent appearance - Neat clean clothes to the place and according to the weather, as well as the preservation of personal hygiene.
What can not be done:
- Come to visit without notice - you must always notify your family and friends about your visit in advance, because unexpected guests bring a lot of trouble.
- Read someone else’s correspondence and look into someone else’s smartphone. A person has the right to privacy.
- Ask uncomfortable questions: ask about salaries, ask about personal matters, unless, of course, the interlocutor himself does not touch on the topic of private life.
- Fiercely argue and conflict. In a conflict situation, the educated person does not yell at the opponent, does not fall to insults and calmly leads his arguments.
- Enter without knocking in an enclosed space. You need to knock on the closed door both at home and at work, entering the office of a colleague or boss, thereby saving a person from the door from an awkward situation.
Below are the rules for public places.
- It is required to maintain silence in the appropriate rooms: in the library, hospital, museum, theater, cinema.
- You can not litter on the street, in the park and any other public places.
- It is forbidden to smoke and drink alcohol on street shops, and even more so near children's playgrounds.
- Spitting, picking one’s nose, blowing one’s nose on the sidewalk is unacceptable - it’s not only uncivilized, but also disgusts passers-by.
- Making your way in the crowd, you need to use the following words: “let me pass”, “let me”, “be kind”.
- When going to a theater, restaurant, a political event or a corporate party, you need to choose the right outfit.
- In a movie or theater, you need to get to your seats facing the people sitting. If the seats are in the middle, then you need to go to them in advance, so that later you do not cause inconvenience to the extreme sitting audience.
- During the performance you can not eat - for this there is an intermission and a buffet.
- After the performance, a man should go to the wardrobe himself and take a coat for his lady, while helping her put it on.
- In the museum you can’t talk loudly, do not push around, making your way to the exhibits. No need to rush - you should calmly move from one exhibit to another and do not touch them with your hands. You must listen to the guide and not interrupt him, ask questions only after he asks about it.
- Dry the umbrella in any room should be closed.
- You can not put the phone on the table at a party, restaurants, during an interview - this is a sign of disrespect, which is regarded as an unwillingness to communicate with the interlocutor.
- No more bags, bags, briefcases can be put on the table in a restaurant or cafe. Bags are hung on the handle of a chair, and a briefcase or bag is placed next to the chair on the floor. Only a small, elegant handbag is allowed on the table.
Etiquette in public transport
The rules are as follows:
- When entering any public transport or metro, you must skip the exit.
- You need to go straight to the empty seats, do not linger at the door.
- Give way to the elderly, pregnant women and women with children and people with limited mobility.
- Touching someone or accidentally pushing, you need to apologize.
Store etiquette
Rules:
- At the entrance to the store, you first need to skip the people who leave, then let the first pregnant women, elderly people and people with limited mobility, and only then go in yourself.
- You cannot enter the store with animals, a lit cigarette, and ice cream.
- Thank you for servicing the seller.
- Damaged items should be returned with a polite explanation.
- The line in the store should be respected, but women with young children, pregnant and disabled people should be skipped ahead.
General decency rules are a tool that governs the framework that society should not go beyond.
Subtleties of communication
The psychological component of our lives is communication. In primitive society, people communicated only through gestures and sounds. Now it happens in many ways. In the modern world, there are two main types of communication:
- Verbal - using speech. This is the most basic way that the entire planet communicates.
- Nonverbal - using gestures, facial expressions and feelings: tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory. With the help of feelings and gestures, not only people communicate, but also animals.
Communication regulates relations in everyday life, at work, in family life, that is, in absolutely any area of life. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to know about some subtleties that will help to understand others and be understood by yourself:
- Ability to listen and hear. The ability to listen helps to understand a person’s feelings. Being heard is very important to us, and therefore people with this ability immediately inspire trust and gratitude. To learn to listen, you need to tune in to an interlocutor who wants to convey his feelings or expectations. To do this, you need to leave your thoughts for a while, listen and do not interrupt him until a person speaks out and waits for advice from the listener.
- The ability to express one’s negative feelings is essential in family life. It is important to correctly express feelings and not offend a partner, it is important to talk about accumulated grievances in time, because he may not even guess what is happening in the heart of a loving person, because no one has yet learned to read other people's thoughts.
It is important to do this without reproach and screaming, and you need to remember that resentment comes at the act, and not at the person. And it should also be conveyed that such an act offended, and asked not to do this again - an emotionally mature person will understand and will never do that in the future.
- Ability to express wishes and requests. If a person wants his wishes to be fulfilled, you need to do without hints and ask directly, politely and in an understandable form. Thank you in advance, using the word "please" several times, as children do, because this little trick often works.
- Ability to communicate with a negatively minded person. The impact of a negatively-minded person can lead to depression and even depression, deprive confidence and lower self-esteem.
That’s why you should avoid such a “comrade”, but if you don’t get away from communication, for example, with your boss, then you should adhere to the following recommendations:
- It is necessary to abstract and not accept at your own expense the insults that they inflict.
- Stay calm, prove your case with confidence and restraint, fending off the facts. Usually such people crave a scandal, the same reaction to their anger and anger, but cold restraint can confuse them.
A person is negatively affected not only by such brawlers, but also by another category of people who constantly complain - they suck out all the positive emotions in the same way. You can get tired of communicating with them. The best way is to avoid talking to such people, or you can try to distract them with interesting news or a topic.. But do not tell them about your successes, as this will give a new wave of complaints and a reason for envy.
Etiquette at a party and at the table
Knowledge of the culture of behavior at a party and at a table will help a person not to get into a mess and not to pass for ignoramuses. The following etiquette points are given for those who like not only to receive guests, but also often come to visit them.
Recommendations for the reception of guests:
- the landlord meets the guests on the doorstep and helps to undress, then the landlady escorts new arrivals to the table and introduces the guests present;
- guests should be entertained by conversation, but not to impose topics for communication, and viewing home photos and videos only at the request of all those present;
- it is necessary to ensure that all guests have the necessary cutlery at the table.
Recommendations for guests:
- don't be late;
- a cultural and polite guest does not come empty-handed - flowers, a bottle of wine or candy will be an appropriate gift for the hostess of the house;
- if it is a small dinner or lunch, then it is necessary to praise the culinary abilities of the hostess, at large receptions this is inappropriate;
- bad tone - to sit silently and not communicate with other guests, you need to maintain a conversation;
- you can’t leave without farewell, you should thank the hosts for the evening and politely say goodbye to the rest of the guests.
Recommendations for etiquette at the table:
- Women sit down at the table first, men help them with this by moving a chair.
- Do not put your elbows on the table - only hands are allowed to be put on, besides the elbows should be pressed while eating.
- You need to eat slowly, chewing food thoroughly. It is not allowed to sip or smack.
- The meat should be cut into small pieces, while holding the knife in the right hand, and the fork in the left, it is necessary from the fork. Eating with a knife is unacceptable.
- Between meals, the fork and knife are not left on the tablecloth, but are placed crosswise on a plate. Between changing meals, the fork and knife are also left on an empty plate, but already parallel to each other, while the knife is placed to the right of the fork.
- Before drinking from a glass, it is necessary to wet your mouth with a napkin so as not to leave greasy spots on it.
- In the case when all the dishes are already on the table, you need to take them only with special devices reserved for each individual dish, and in no case with your own spoon.
- Do not use a toothpick at the table.
- You can’t talk with your mouth full, and also leave the table without chewing food to the end.
- If a sneezing or coughing attack begins, you need to use a napkin.
- You should not force a neighbor on the table to try this or that dish - everyone has their own taste preferences.
- An easy and pleasant conversation should be held at the table.
Rules for meeting parents
Trying to make a good impression on the parents of the second half, people make stupid mistakes. Therefore, coming to visit the parents of your loved one, you need to follow the following recommendations:
- Do not come empty-handed, but also don’t give your father halves alcohol at the first meeting. It’s better to bring flowers to mom or a cake to the table.
- Do not start a conversation first - it’s better to wait until they turn to you.
- You need to behave modestly, not to flatter or praise the interior of the house.
- Do not give up treats, it is worth remembering that the future mother-in-law or mother-in-law prepared for you - you need to try to eat a little of everything and praise the hostess.
- No need to get involved in alcohol - it is better to try to hold out one glass of wine longer.
- Girls should not smoke on their first visit to their parents.
- It is necessary to take care of a decent appearance. Guys should wear trousers and a shirt or jeans and a shirt, but never wear shorts. The girl should avoid short shorts, skirts and dresses with a deep neckline and cuts.
- You should politely answer questions from parents, not tell jokes and avoid stupid jokes.
- When leaving, you should definitely call your parents to visit you.
Dressing skills
Pleasant and tidy appearance, personal hygiene are the natural duties of any person. No one will be pleased to communicate with a person who smells unpleasant. Simple things like daily showering, brushing, and skin care must be done.
It is important to correctly choose your wardrobe, which should contain things for all occasions.
In this case, it is necessary to take into account the parameters of the figure so that the thing sits well and does not seem small, or, conversely, large.
When choosing the color of a thing, you need to rely on the color of the skin, face and eyes. Each person has his own color type:
- Winter - the skin can be almost white or dark, hair - black or dark.
- Spring - fair hair and eyes, thin skin, pink lips.
- Summer - light blond, ash-colored hair. Gray, blue-gray, green, hazel eyes. Grayish-beige and slightly pink skin tone, pale pink lips.
- Fall - golden skin, warm shades of the eyes (brown, golden, dark brown), hair from golden to red shades.
For color types, winter and summer are well suited for things in cold colors, for spring and autumn - warm, pastel.
The wardrobe itself is divided into the following categories:
- Daily. Here jeans, t-shirts, shirts, various pullovers and sweaters will be appropriate. Women can include dresses of a simple cut and skirts in it, in summer - sundresses and shorts. Such clothes are convenient for meeting friends, shopping, walking in the park or going with children to the circus or to the museum.
- Business. Pantsuits for men and women are suitable, for the latter you can also use strict dresses and skirts to the knees, light plain or pinstriped shirts - in short, classic clothes for going to work, interviews, business meetings, political events.
- Front or evening. Suitable for exits to the theater, concert, restaurants, cultural exhibitions and fashion shows, corporate parties. More free and elegant than a business wardrobe, but not overly open and even more vulgar. Men put on tuxedos or classic suits with a jacket, women dresses, light iridescent fabrics, dresses on the floor with a neckline on the back, leg or deep neckline are also allowed.
- Sports. Such clothes are suitable exclusively for sports or active pastime: hiking in the forest or mountains, skiing or snowboarding, ice skating. It is unacceptable to practice in the gym in jeans and boots - this is not only not by the rules, but also unsafe. Sportswear stretches well, does not have decor elements that can get stuck in the simulator. Of the shoes, only lightweight sneakers that hold the whole foot well.
Before going to the gym or engaging in any kind of sports, you need to remove all jewelry, otherwise they can not only deteriorate, but also damage your health.
These basic dress code rules will help you choose the right clothes for your occasion.
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Business culture
Business etiquette is a set of rules governing relations between employees, business partners, a boss and subordinates.
But business relations are built not only on the basis of etiquette, since it only establishes an external form of behavior. A person must have an internal culture and be guided by moral principles. In Russia, the principles of business etiquette were defined at the beginning of the 20th century, and today they have not changed:
- respect for law and authority;
- adherence to honesty and truthfulness;
- respect for private property rights;
- fidelity to the word and promise;
- live within our means;
- competition that does not go beyond morality and law.
Rules of business etiquette:
- honesty and reliability - without these qualities it is impossible to build long-term and effective partnerships and business relationships;
- obligatoriness - an obligatory and faithful person, arouses trust and respect, which is very important for formal relations;
- compliance with subordination - official subordination regulates the powers of employees, distributes duties and competencies;
- dedication to professional activities and the company - the most devoted and loyal employees of the company are valued by management, they are in trust and respect among management.
In addition to these basic rules, do not forget about goodwill, courtesy and a smile. It is worthwhile to complete all the tasks on time and not to make grammatical errors in the preparation of documentation - this can ruin your professional reputation. Do not be late for official meetings and work.
Healthy competition between colleagues will not hurt, but do not forget about the ability to work in a team, as this is the best tool to achieve the goals of the company. It is necessary to remember the appearance.
All the described etiquette rules are a way to treat people the way you would like to be treated. It is unpleasant for anyone to encounter rudeness and manifestation of outright malice towards oneself.
Success in business is always based on the communication of various aspects of the marketing process. In modern business relationships, the ability to give feedback correctly is priceless. Read more about the principles of effective feedback in the next video.