Envy can be called one of the most unpleasant feelings, which can lead not only to personal destruction, but to the end of relationships with loved ones and friends. What is it, and is there an opportunity to fight envy? To understand this, it is necessary to study the cause of this feeling.
What it is?
It should be noted that almost every person experienced this sensation, because nothing is alien to us. Envy manifests itself in everyone, regardless of age, social status, gender and other qualities. But the question is what to do with this feeling, whether it is worth fighting or letting it destroy inner peace and tranquility.
If you describe envy, it is characterized by a feeling of frustration that someone has something that I don’t have. Often this is accompanied by a desire for that person to lose the opportunity, circumstances, or thing that he received. Female envy, like male envy, is closely related to psychology, which is important to understand. It is born in childhood, when a friend had a beautiful dress, or an older sister bought an enviable toy. Over time, this negative feeling can manifest itself in relation to colleagues who have received a promotion, and even friends who have managed to make a profitable investment or meet their soul mate.
Whatever it was, envy can quickly cloud the mind and negatively affect both behavior and the character of a person in a short time. More often than not, a woman is not able to see the path that the object of her envy for success has traveled. Only the tip of the iceberg is visible - the happiness and joy of a person, and they cause irritation, resentment, and sometimes anger. All thoughts begin to revolve only around this.
There are psychological characteristics of the manifestation that will help to recognize envy.
Signs
To understand whether you have envy or whether you are jealous, you need to know several characteristics of this feeling, which is often manifested in women in different ways. It is enough to pay attention to the behavior of another person, and it will be very simple to recognize an unfavorable attitude.
- External manifestations are that a woman pulls away and does not show emotions when she hears about the success of a friend or loved one. If we are talking about good news regarding raising, increasing salaries or long-awaited holidays, instead of showing joy, the person remains indifferent, and the words of congratulation do not carry the corresponding meaning.
- If any initiative and undertaking is met immediately by criticismThis indicates envy. The man himself does not want to engage in self-development, but only shows irritation, which is not so easy to hide. It is easy to see in the numerous arguments and the belief that nothing will work, that it’s not worth it.
- Imitation also an indicator of envy. If after some time you noticed that your friend bought the same shoes as yours or started talking with a guy you like, most likely she will experience this negative feeling towards you. Copying often does not mean admiration, but confirms the opposite. You need to achieve success on your own, look for your own path to the goal, but envious people do not think about it, as they focus on others.
- Increasing interest in another person’s personal life often says that they envy him. This is a kind of “intelligence”, thanks to which a woman can look for flaws in the relationship of her friend, to point her to them, or secretly rejoice at the failures. This is often found in people who can not boast of a personal life and begin to gossip about others.
- Regular banter and incorrect utterances towards the object of envy are a sign of a negative attitude. The realization that someone is more successful and happier leads to the humiliation of a friend in the circle of her friends. Facial expression can say a lot about your attitude towards you. If a friend looks away or pulls away, it’s worth considering whether this destructive feeling has prevented your friendship.
- Slander often found among jealous people who want to slander and defame, as well as belittle the successes of others. Flattery keeps up with envy, so if a person begins to fall asleep with false and insincere compliments, you should think about his attitude towards you.
Causes
There are a lot of factors that can make a person jealous. Often this stretches from early childhood, and then with this feeling it is much harder to fight.
Parents who constantly compare their child may have unknowingly generated a feeling of envy. Punishment for any oversights and non-compliance with the rules did not allow the child to take his own initiative and make mistakes, as is characteristic of children. Lack of love gives rise to deep emotional wounds that may not last over the years and manifest in other character traits, most often negative ones.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem are not always found only in quiet and calm people. Often this becomes the cause of envy, as a person sees happiness in others, but for some reason he cannot achieve this, while he is unable to rejoice for loved ones.
Problems in parent-child relationships lead to serious psychological disorders that affect behavior and decision making in different circumstances.. If the elders did not praise the child, often humiliated and cited someone else as an example, this undoubtedly led to a sense of inferiority that is projected onto others.It is difficult for unemployed people to rejoice for those who have achieved success, especially if the reason for the lack of earnings is ordinary laziness or unwillingness to do something to advance on the career ladder.
The ex-wife is often envious of her husband’s new lover, her beauty, figure, youth and other qualities.
At the same time, he is trying in every possible way to seek out flaws, gossiping about her with friends and may slander. The appearance of others can often cause negative emotions only because we do not look so attractive. Girls with short hair may have envy for the owners of long braids.
Because of the negative feeling, many women begin to think that it is much easier for thin, rich, young people to live, and success itself goes to them, but this is not so. Those who work in a team often find themselves in a whirlpool of gossip, discussing everyone around. Financial condition can be called the most common reason, people are jealous of a large apartment in a beautiful area, a successful job, profitable connections. All these factors can destroy the mental and physical condition of a woman, if you do not start to fight the negative effects of envy in time, and this is possible.
How to deal with envy?
There are several options to combat this condition. First you need to decide whether you have become the object of envy or a feeling captivated you.
In itself
To find envy in yourself is very simple, it is enough to analyze the personal attitude to friends or simply successful women and beautiful girls. If you sincerely rejoice for them, and they inspire you, you don’t have to worry, but when a lump appears inside and an insult rises, you need to take action.
- It is important to understand that you need to deal with this condition at an early stage, since envy can lead to more negative consequences, including revenge, quarrels and deep emotional wounds. The first step is to recognize oneself in envy. If you notice that you are regularly gossiping or have begun to slander in relation to a certain person, you need to stop this.
- Of course, fighting feelings and emotions is not as easy as we would like. But they cannot be ignored. You can start by looking for the cause of jealousy. If this has been going on since early childhood, it is recommended that you talk with your parents about the feelings you experience. Speaking honestly can ease internal contradictions and calm the pain.
- Psychological support plays an important role, so you can make an appointment with a specialist, who will find the source of the problem and tell you how to deal with it. Maybe you should talk to someone you envy and talk about your emotions. If we are talking about a close and dear person, there is no doubt that he will be ready to help you.
- In the fight against envy, self-control and regular analysis of the motives for your actions will be required. It is important to stop concentrating on failures, and remember what has already been done. You must be as frank as possible with yourself. Try to find in yourself the positive qualities that have already helped you achieve success in different areas of life. Concentrate on the good that you have and thank fate for that.
You can do something for self-development, to increase significance in your own eyes, and reach new heights that will inspire and delight.
When others envy
You can react to envy in different ways, but if you want to change your friend’s attitude towards you and stop the flow of negative emotions, you can take several steps towards and help her deal with it.
- Primarily, to be honest, and for this you can arrange gatherings, prepare a delicious dinner and create a welcoming atmosphere. You should speak openly, but be restrained so as not to injure your girlfriend. Explain that the attitude on her part has changed, and this upsets you.
- It’s important to show that you value friendship and want things to work out., This will allow emotionally reveal interlocutor. If we are talking about your successes on a personal front or at work, it is important to encourage and comfort a friend, saying that all the best in her life is yet to come. Psychological support plays a large role, it is important to express understanding.
- Do not belittle your own achievements to make your girlfriend feel better, this will not fix the situation. It is impossible to please, as this can give rise to even more negative feelings and completely ruin the relationship. It is enough to push and inspire a friend so that she can see that she has every chance to achieve success in various fields. Painful topics should not be touched, here you may need the help of a psychologist. All of these actions can save female friendships and help deal with negativity.
Our life consists of relationships with different people, and they are often influenced by different factors. None of us are immune from negative emotions, but you can cope with them if you know the cause of their occurrence and ways to eliminate them.