Today, the wedding can be considered an outdated, lost value rite, however, for some newlyweds and more experienced spouses, it is still relevant. The wedding rite is an important event in the fate of the family, because it unites the immortal souls of people forever, which means that after death the souls of this couple will meet in a better world and will be together. Wedding is a very responsible step, which is important to be prepared mentally and spiritually, which means not only deciding how important it is for the family, but also going through a whole string of important preparatory traditions that will strengthen the awareness of the need for weddings and set the newlyweds in the right mood.
Basic Rules
Like any other ceremony, the wedding is subject to a certain scenario of action and a number of immutable rules. Newlyweds must remember each of them and warn their guests about them, so as not to offend the feelings of the ministers of the church.
- In the church, loud conversations, laughter, rhetoric, the use of swear words, an indication of church decoration with a finger are unacceptable. These are not only church rules, they are also generally accepted rules of etiquette. Violation of these simple rules indicates a bad man.
- There is a strict dress code in the church, the violation of which indicates that a person has a nasty soul and is ungodly.
- Witnesses and parents of the newlyweds must necessarily confirm their consent to this marriage and bless the young.
- Some holy fathers ask for a marriage certificate to confirm the seriousness of the intentions of the young.
- Most churches do not crown minors, although according to the rules the restrictions are as follows: boys are not younger than 18, and girls are not younger than 16.
- Women over 60 and men over 70 are not allowed to get married. This is due to the fact that such a marriage is doomed to infertility, since the fertile age of the newlyweds has long gone. However, this rule does not apply to couples living in a legal marriage and having children.
- Wedding of blood relatives is forbidden.
- It is unacceptable to marry couples in which one or both partners have not divorced previous legal marriages. And, of course, a wedding is unacceptable for previously married people.
- If one or both spouses has had 3 or more marriages before, such people are also not crowned because they are unreliable.
- Both newlyweds must be baptized Orthodox.
How to sign up?
The question of how to make an appointment for the wedding is not entirely correct. In fact, it is not as simple as it seems. In this case, many churches have their own orders. In order to conduct a wedding ceremony, you will have to go through an interview with the priest. During this interview, the clergyman learns about the life and acquaintance of the young people, appreciates their intentions. In addition to the interview, a large list of preparatory rituals awaits the young, about which the father will also tell in detail.
If the clergyman remains satisfied with the newlyweds, most likely, he will give his blessing for the marriage and offer to choose a date. In the opposite situation, young people will receive a number of recommendations, following which you can convince the priest of the seriousness of their intentions.
In addition to the interview, you will have to make a charitable donation to the temple. As a rule, in every church there is a fixed amount that it is desirable to pay, it can range from 1500 to 5000, depending on the size of the church and the demand for its services.
What do you need to buy?
The sacrament of wedding is a ritual carried out according to a single, strict scenario.
To carry it out you will need:
- Icon of the Mother of God (sometimes the Savior or both);
- church wine, which can be purchased at a church shop or store Cahors;
- napkins or handkerchiefs for candles;
- candles;
- wedding rings;
- rushnyk.
The towel should be large so that the newlyweds can calmly stand on it.
Previously, such towels of the girl embroidered on their own for the wedding, putting a ritual meaning in them. Today, a rushnyk is easier to buy. The drawings on it should symbolize the long joint path of the young, therefore, pairs of pigeons or swans, rings and flowers will be appropriate here.
Wedding rings should be modest, you can choose rings with engraved church symbols or simple, classic wedding rings.
As for the icons, the ideal option is family icons with which the parents of one of the newlyweds were married. If there are none, then parents can purchase icons and give them to young people.
How to prepare?
By the wedding, the young must cleanse their soul and body of unholy thoughts, sins of their previous lives, and more. Therefore, there is a strict procedure for preparing for the wedding. It includes fasting, confession and communion.
In order to maximally purify the soul before the wedding, you need to properly prepare for it, and you should start with fasting. The duration of the fast is not significant, however, it must be long enough for the young to realize its purpose. During fasting, meat and dairy products, fish and seafood, eggs should be excluded from the diet. The use of any alcohol is unacceptable. During this period, you can eat cereals, vegetables, fruits, mushrooms.
However, there may be some changes in the diet of fasting if necessary, good nutrition for medical reasons, in this case, you need to discuss the rules of fasting with the priest.
A week before the end of the post it is necessary to abandon sexual contacts. Fasting is a way to purify the spirit, and for newlyweds there is also an occasion to devote time to each other, spend time strengthening spirit, read prayers together and ask for blessings from saints.This rule is important for both newlyweds and those living in marriage, as they are equal in the face of the Orthodox Church. In addition, this rule does not end with the end of the post. It is necessary to continue fasting intimately until the very wedding night, which will take place after the wedding ceremony.
On the eve of the wedding or a few days before it, you must definitely confess. Confession is a conversation with a priest about everything that haunts the soul. During this conversation, you need to confess your sins and mistakes, do it sincerely and of your own free will. This will help free the soul from the burden of sins and allow a purified, renewed person to marry. After confession it is impossible to sin, it is important to keep the bible commandments as carefully as possible, control your thoughts, prevent bad thoughts, so as not to have time to accumulate new sins. After confession, with an open soul, you need to give generous donations to the poor and destitute in order to confirm the purity of your soul.
The clergy will hold the clergy on the wedding day just before the ceremony. As a rule, this happens during the morning liturgy. Young people are invited to taste the "blood and flesh" of the Holy Spirit - a sip of wine and a slice of bread. This rite is intended to introduce young people to holy action, to bestow divine grace on them.
It is important to remember that you can not miss a single stage of preparation, since they are all designed to maximize the purification of the young before the wedding. Newlyweds should enter a new life without the burden of a past life.
You will learn how to prepare for the wedding by watching the following video.
What to wear?
A church is a temple, which must be entered with a pure soul and respect for its servants. Here, as nowhere else, it is important to strictly observe the culture of appearance. The very clothes of the bride and groom should talk about the purity of their souls and their piety.
In the case of the groom, the witness and the male guests, there is nothing particularly complicated. The main rule for a man in the church is the prohibition on wearing hats. Otherwise, there are a number of simple recommendations. For example, you should not choose too bright, flashy colors of a suit or accessories. The Bible teaches its followers modesty and restraint, bright colors in clothes contradict these dogmas. For the same reason, you should remove the rings, too catchy watches, chains and so on. Uncultured and inappropriate in the church will look jeans, sneakers or sneakers, shorts, t-shirts and other elements of "street" clothing. It is better to prefer strict suits in shades of gray, black or blue or trousers and a modest, restrained jumper.
In general, the same rules apply for brides, witnesses and women guests, but there are much more subtleties that should be taken into account. So, for girls in the church it is unacceptable to stay with your head uncovered. Guests at the wedding may prefer elegant hats, light scarves, and a veil is ideal for the bride.
Choosing a veil, you should make sure that it covers the whole head, for a wedding it is better to choose a veil that covers the hair and face.
For women, the presence of trousers in the church is unacceptable, and the dress must hide the knees. The bride, however, should completely opt for a dress on the floor, since it is such an outfit that is a symbol of innocence. Shoulders and arms must be hidden by clothing at least 2/3, that is, the elbows should be under clothing. Therefore, the bride should choose a dress with sleeves or complement an open outfit of bolero with sleeves.
The color of women's dresses is worth choosing the lightest - this symbolizes the purity of thoughts, which is why brides often wear white dresses.
The bride, the bridesmaid and the guests should remember that the wedding is a rather lengthy ceremony that will have to be held while standing. In this regard, it is worth taking care of comfortable shoes.
The bride should exclude jewelry as much as possible, this is especially important in the case of hands, because a new, most important piece of jewelry will appear on the bride’s handle - a wedding ring. The abundance of jewelry in the church will give the bride an image of vulgarity and cheapness. In addition, gloves will be inappropriate in the church, since they will have to be removed before exchanging rings - this is at least not aesthetically pleasing.
In preparation for this rite, it is worth remembering a special make-up. There should not be too much makeup on the bride’s face. The emphasis should be placed on the eyes, and it is better not to paint the lips at all, because during the ceremony you have to kiss the bible and the icons - it’s not very decent to leave traces of lipstick on such things.
What do witnesses need to know?
The tradition of inviting honorary witnesses to the sacrament of marriage is rooted in the distant past of Orthodox Russia. Once upon a time, wedding was the only way to document marriage, in those days there were no other registries besides the parish book. In order for the holy father to be sure of the readiness of the young people for marriage and their pure and serious intentions, people who could confirm all this were needed. As a rule, these were faithful parishioners of the church who knew the bride and groom well. Honorary witnesses made recommendations about the newlyweds, however, the witnesses themselves became the successors of this couple (almost like baptism - godchildren). The newlyweds were to become an example for their witnesses.
Today, wedding options are acceptable with and without witnesses. The main criterion in choosing witnesses is that they should also be baptized Christians who recognize the value and importance of the sacrament of marriage. During the ceremony, they do not have too many responsibilities: they must keep crowns over the heads of the newlyweds and file the rings.
It is worth noting that keeping crowns over the heads of the newlyweds is not an easy task. Crowns are quite weighty and will have to be held on arms extended upwards, which is rather difficult.
