Today, such a ceremony as a wedding is gaining popularity again. Wedding has become a fashionable trend, but only a few couples realize the full responsibility of this church sacrament. A wedding is a church rite, a union of spouses by God. Since this is not only a beautiful ritual, but also a responsibility to each other and to the face of the church, it will be useful to know some of its subtleties and nuances.
Who can and cannot be married?
The tradition of marriage in the church dates back to antiquity. Previously, only marriage was considered legal, which was concluded in the temple of God, because in ancient times they were very sensitive to observing all the rules. Many traditions are outdated, and are no longer used, but most of them still come to us.
All couples can get married in the church, where the bride is 16 years old and the bridegroom is 18. Of course, a girl who has not reached the age of majority can carry out this sacrament only with the permission of her parents. In order for the couple to get married, you also need to provide a marriage certificate. This requirement is that for family life you need to mature spiritually. In addition, the evidence becomes a kind of guarantee that not one of the newlyweds is in another marriage on the side.
The deadline for a couple to enter into a church marriage is 60 years for a woman and 70 for a man. This is due to the cessation of the function of childbearing. Nevertheless, today many clergymen go to meet and marry couples older than this age. In this case, the prayer for childbirth is omitted.
If in the old days marriages were fashionable, where the groom is twice or older than the bride, then today, if the couple has a significant age difference, the priest may try to dissuade the couple from a rash step. However, with the confidence of the couple in their feelings, the refusal of the church will not follow.
In addition, couples who decide to get married should be in the same religion, baptized, and wear a cross.
Couples can get married both on the wedding day, and through an indefinite period of time after it. The main thing is for the sacrament to take place. You need to register for the wedding in advance, for a month or two weeks. It is recommended that you negotiate all the details with the clergyman, prepare the necessary attributes, learn the rules of conduct in the temple.
There is no significant difference between large beautiful temples and small churches. Everywhere the rite is held the same. Today it is a paid sacrament, and its cost is better to agree in advance.
Unfortunately, there are several prohibitions on the wedding, so not everyone will be able to carry out this sacrament. The church will refuse:
- couples who are currently in a divorced or civil marriage;
- clergy who wish to perform the rite after entering the dignity;
- couples who already had the pleasure of getting married three times;
- young people if they are unbaptized or have a different faith;
- couples related to the fourth knee.
Is it possible to get married without registering a marriage?
As you know, in olden days there was no place for civil marriage, and only a union consecrated by the church was recognized. Today, many couples have a question about whether it is possible to get married, bypassing the registration of a marriage in a registry office. In the modern world, the church considers marriage certificate the initial form of creating a family. Of course, these canons were recommended by the state, but the church does not seek to abandon them.
It is worth noting that if you ask a priest to marry you without a marriage registration document, you will most likely be refused. There are only a few exceptions to the rules permitting the wedding without registration, but only for good reason, and with the permission of the bishop. These cases are very rare.
For example, religious parishioners, whom the clergyman has known for many years and is confident in their feelings, can get married in a church without a document.
Thus, he takes responsibility. The church can also make concessions to religious couples, where one of the partners is in danger or illness.
What days is the best time to hold the sacrament?
Turning to the Orthodox calendar, one can see that the most favorable days for this sacrament will last throughout the fall: 14 days in September, 17 in October and 15 in November. In December, couples will not succeed, as this time falls on the Christmas post.
In no case should the ceremony be held on September 11 and 27 in any year. And in October it is better to get married after the 14th. Successful days of September for such a sacrament will be the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th, 12th, 14th, 16th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 24th, 28th, 30th. A favorable days of October are considered to be 1, 3, 13, 21.22, 25, 29, 31.
Even in antiquity it was customary to enter into church marriage in the spring or autumn. The number of favorable days in this period has been preserved in modern times. The most successful time for the sacrament is considered to be the period from Baptism to Shrovetide.
The best days for the ceremony are:
- Sunday;
- Monday;
- Wednesday;
- Friday.
Most people who want to get married in the church after the wedding fall on Sunday. This is due to the fact that Saturday is the best day for registration of marriage, and on the second day of the wedding, that is, on Sunday, it's time for the wedding. And the couple’s emotional load is less, and everyone invited is in place. You can get married on such days only if your chosen Sunday does not fall on a significant church holiday.
How to prepare?
The wedding must be carried out only in the temple, in no case in nature or in the monastery. Agree on the time of the wedding should the newlyweds or their parents. At the same time, it is forbidden to attract unmarried men and unmarried women to organize the sacrament.
It is desirable that the ceremony was carried out only for one pair, and not for several at a time. It will be very good if the bells ring after the sacrament. This is not only a beautiful tradition, it is believed that the bell ringing brings happiness in family life.
For couples who want to get married, the question arises, what time of day to conduct the ceremony: morning, afternoon, evening or night. In the dark, in the temple, this ritual is not accepted. The optimal time is from 13.00 to 17.00, but sometimes the church makes concessions, and crowns immediately after the morning service.
After the day and time of the wedding is chosen, it is necessary to prepare for this ceremony. To do this, stock up on a bottle of Cahors, a small loaf, candles and towels, icons of the Savior and the Mother of God, and, of course, rings. For photos and videos, ask the priest for permission.
In the Orthodox Church, the wedding ceremony begins directly from the betrothal itself. At first, the young, on the instructions of the priest, carry out manipulations with the rings. Next is the wedding ceremony itself, at which prayers are said. Before the sacrament, it is recommended to hold a three-day fast, and then confess.
We should not forget that a wedding is a sacrament for two, a blessing of two hearts for a long and happy life, birth and upbringing of children according to the canons of the Orthodox religion. Therefore, do not flaunt this event with excessive pomp and luxury, as well as a large number of guests. As they say, happiness loves silence.
No matter how much the bride and those invited to the wedding want to look stylish, one must not forget about modesty and repentance in the church. Therefore, you need to behave and dress appropriately.
There should be no short dresses, deep neckline, jeans, stilettos.
Superstition and Signs
It will be worthwhile to consider some of the signs and superstitions that are associated with the rite of marriage. These superstitions came to us from ancient times, and to believe in them or not, each couple decides independently.
If you trust the old rumors, then May is considered the most inappropriate month for this sacrament. The word "May" people compare with the meaning of "toil." That is, based on beliefs, all couples who married in May will be tossed their whole life.
In a leap year, only a few couples decide to get married. Such a year is considered unsuccessful for entry into both civil and church marriage. According to legend, all marriages that are concluded in a leap year will not be durable. Following the leap year is the year of the Black Widow, and then the year of the Black Widow. It was believed that in these years it is impossible to enter into a marriage. In the Orthodox Church, weddings in a leap year were never prohibited; clergy consider all superstitions a sin.
Popular signs say that:
- if a couple swears an oath of allegiance over the rings, their union will be unbreakable;
- if, after the wedding, the young look in one mirror, then their union will also be strong;
- a bride who puts on her wedding dress before the wedding will endanger the marriage.
It was previously believed that a couple should bring a gold and silver ring to the ceremony. These were symbols of the feminine and masculine power, the sun and the moon. In this case, the bride in no case could not wear a ring on gloves.
Witnesses play a very important role for the sacrament. These should be best friends, Orthodox Christians, people with an open mind. It is best to choose a married couple who are happily married.
The crown in the wedding procedure should always be on the heads of those who perform the ceremony. If you remove it, then marriage before God will be invalid.The candles that the young couple kept in prayer should be preserved by them. They will become indispensable guardians of marriage, facilitate difficult childbirth.
People who are connected by the sacrament of marriage cannot part, because God united them. If the young part, then they will never find their happiness apart.
Divorcing a church held together is considered a great sin. It is difficult for those who are responsible for divorce to receive a blessing for their next marriage. Today, the church makes concessions, performs a ritual dethronement and blesses the next marriage. For divorce, the church must have serious reasons and must be explained. Only in the case of weighty arguments will divorce be allowed.
Before you enter into a church marriage, you need to remember that the wedding is a special sacrament, and it must be taken seriously. If the couple’s feelings are strong, then not a single superstition or sign will destroy it.
About when you can get married, see the next video.
