How to overcome fear?

There are no fearless people in the world who are not afraid of anything. If a person suddenly becomes like that, he will die, because he will lose his prudence, caution, and the ability to critically evaluate what is happening around. But sometimes our fears significantly complicate our lives, and then the question arises: how to cope with the manifestations of this strong primitive emotion?

Fear is the basic innate emotion of the human body. According to some reports, even the fetus in the mother’s womb is capable of experiencing fear before it is born, and this allows us to assert with good conscience that the sense of fear was not created by nature by chance. Thanks to him, humanity survives, fear makes a man more careful, prudent, saves his life in dangerous situations. Thanks to fear, people came up with a lot of useful inventions that increase the safety and comfort of our daily lives.

The feeling of fear triggers a mass of invisible physiological processes that instantly mobilize the human body, forcing him to act and think faster, move more actively, strength and speed increase. But at the same time, sometimes fears become an obsessive state. And then they are called phobias. If a healthy reaction is a fright in connection with a specific threat, then pathological fear is an irrational horror, which a person cannot explain.

As a rule, we all are afraid of something, and this is genetically determined, inherited from distant ancestors. For example, fear of the dark is inherent in almost all children and at least 10% of adults.It is equally normal to fear height, depth, open fire, death. Healthy fear makes a person stronger, after the threat passes, he quickly passes, and the emotional state becomes even.

Pathological fear can occur in certain situations for a particular person, and he does not mobilize, but makes a person vulnerable: in a fit of panic, no one can make decisions, no one can become stronger.

Do I need to say that pathological fear makes a person subordinate, he dictates his conditions. A person begins to carefully avoid objects and situations that cause panic, and sometimes he has to change the whole way of life for this. Judge for yourself: people with claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces) walk even to the upper floors of multi-storey buildings, just to avoid being in the atmosphere of an elevator car, and people with social phobia sometimes refuse to even leave the house, go to the store, go to work, or go into public transport , they become prisoners of their own fear.

With tripophobia, cluster openings scare a person, and a panic attack can occur from one type of sponge for washing dishes or a piece of cheese, and paresis prevents a person from going to the toilet when needed, if he is in a public place, the fear of a public toilet simply does not allow him to free bladder.

Most of us have normal healthy fears, or rather excitement, a sense of anxiety, usually before important events, the result of which we cannot predict accurately (before an operation, exam, interview). Such experiences do not deprive us of the overall adequacy, but they can interfere with sleep and sleep well, otherwise they do not cause significant harm. It so happened that people tend to fear the unknown, and the upcoming event is shrouded in it.

Pathological fears, even in anticipation of an event, significantly worsen the quality of life - Phobias on the eve of the operation may experience great anxiety, on the verge of anxiety disorder, and when they collide with a frightening object, they completely lose all control over themselves.

To understand how to overcome fear, you need to clearly understand the laws by which it develops:

• in the central region (limbic system) of the brain, sections of the amygdala are activated;
• a danger signal (true or fictitious) is processed by the amygdala and the process starts, which is called “hit or run”;
• since both running and fighting require strength, the brain starts the process of universal mobilization in a fraction of a second - the blood flow is more directed to the muscles, there is an outflow of blood from internal organs and skin;
• hair on arms and legs stand on end (nature created this reflex in nature to intimidate enemies);
• the work of sweat glands is activated (apparently, also to intimidate enemies, but already by smell), the body temperature decreases;
• the adrenal cortex produces a large amount of the hormone adrenaline, which enters the bloodstream and immediately leads to a decrease in the depth of breathing, heart palpitations and dilated pupils;
• the skin turns pale, the production of sex hormones drops sharply, there is a painful sensation in the abdomen;
• in the mouth dries up, it becomes difficult to swallow.

Thus, the main reason for our fear is our nature, our own brain, and those ancient survival programs (self-preservation instinct) that are embedded in it. But not every fear turns into a form of mental disorder, and here's why. The likelihood that phobias will occur increases if:

• the child is raised in an authoritarian family, where he is deprived of the right to vote, such children do not know how to make decisions;
• the child grows in an atmosphere of hyper-custody, and in this case, the child also does not know how to make decisions, but is also afraid of the world outside the window (parents carefully suggest from childhood that he is extremely dangerous);
• do not pay attention to the child, he has no one to share his fears with (the principle from the cartoon about the kitten Gava “let's be afraid together” is very important in childhood!);
• the child is exposed to terrible situations for him, punishments (put in a dark corner, close in a closet);
• scare the child intentionally - “Babai will come”, “if you fall ill - you die”, etc.

Fear arises not only in the presence of an obvious threat. It can be a signal of a previous experience (if a person was bitten by a dog, he will most likely be afraid of dogs), as well as fear can be the cause of an unexperienced experience (I am afraid of poisonous snakes, although I have never encountered them before). Sometimes fear is imposed on us from the outside, and here we need to say “thank you” to television, which often talks about terror, murders, medical errors, dangerous diseases that spread rapidly), cinema with its horror films and thrillers, books and “friendly” acquaintances who are always ready to tell a "terrible story" from the life of their or their friends.

To understand what exactly are the reasons for your fear, you need not only to remember your childhood, parents, their educational methods, but also to soberly assess who you yourself are. It is proved that people with a fine mental organization, impressionable, vulnerable, shy, experiencing certain difficulties in communication and experiencing them now, lonely people are subject to more fears.

Before answering this question, you need to clearly understand for yourself what fear you are dealing with. If this is a healthy defense mechanism, it is impossible to defeat it, and it is not necessary, you cannot survive without it. If we are talking about pathological fear (phobia, a condition on the verge of phobia), then overcoming such fear on your own is also almost impossible - you need the help of a specialist (psychologist, psychotherapist). In the battle with your fear, you will need the main weapon - a clear understanding that you need to fight not with emotion, but with the reasons that caused it.

A specialist is needed to determine these causes as accurately as possible. Trying to deal with the manifestations (symptoms) yourself without analyzing the causes and correction is a waste of time. You can attend the trainings of fashionable coaches as much as you like, study meditation, read literature from the category "100 Tips - How to Find Fearlessness." But without establishing the root causes of your fear, all this will be useless. Fear will certainly return immediately as soon as circumstances arise and situations similar to those that initially caused panic.

If your fear is not accompanied by severe bouts of panic attacks, you can try to find the reasons yourself. In a calm state, remember as many childhood events as possible related to possible situations in which you saw, heard, perceived a frightening object. Are you afraid to ride the subway? Maybe in childhood you were lost there? Or watched a disaster movie in which people died in the subway? Remember how you were brought up, how often did you experience fears in childhood and adolescence?

Next, you need to assess the reality - in what situations most often an attack of fear begins, what precedes this? Does a particular object cause fear, or are you afraid of something that you cannot even describe in words?

Having identified the object of fear (in our case, this is the metro), the reason for the fear is the negative experience associated with the subway, an incident or even the impression of the film, it's time to start changing the settings to the wrong ones. Start to gradually note the positive aspects of this type of transport - speed, safety, the opportunity to meet interesting people during the trip or just spend time on the road with a good book. It should become actually auto-training.

Then proceed to a gradual immersion in the atmosphere of the subway. Stand at the station today. Come in tomorrow and stay in the lobby. Be sure to note that nothing wrong with this happens. On the third day, you can buy a ticket and go downstairs, and then try to board a car and drive a station or two. So you do not even fight fear, but accustom your body to it, let it fear in moderation.

The danger with which you deal every day, depreciates and is not perceived so sharply. Pay attention to how quickly people get used to the situation in a war or in a natural disaster area. You can realize the same effect. If initially the fear is quite strong, enlist the support of a close person, comrade, relative - let it be like to stand in the subway with you (again, back to the cartoonish principle of “let's be afraid together”).

A similar method can be used to any frightening circumstance or object. It is very important not to avoid, but to face fear. No wonder that was what the teachers advised the samurai. Avoidance only exacerbates fear. And therefore, advice like “are afraid of the subway - take the bus” is harmful and dangerous, although in their hearts for everyone who is afraid they certainly find a lively response and approval.

In the process of "getting used to" fear, internal adaptation to it, Some practical tips will help you to quickly deal with the manifestations of emotion, if it suddenly catches up with you at any stage of your struggle.

• Be proactive. An attack of obsessive fear usually does not start spontaneously, having observed yourself, you will find certain “precursors” - anxiety, tremor, weakness, etc. Having experienced these signs, try to switch your attention to something positive. To do this, you can start and carry with you a small talisman (an item that is associated with a pleasant event, a person). Hold it, look at it, as accurately as possible, try to reproduce in your memory the memories of the day when you received this item, the appearance of the person who presented it to you or was nearby. This will help reduce anxiety, because you will give the brain another task.
• Pain to help. A pain impulse can instantly switch your brain to protection mode, it will begin to solve the current "problem", and the development of fear will be suspended. Of course, we do not urge to mutilate ourselves and engage in self-harm. It is enough to wear a thin pharmaceutical gum on the wrist, which can be pulled back and released at a terrible moment. You can also pinch yourself.
• Learn to relax. If the situation allows, then at the first signs of impending fear, sit comfortably, take a free pose. Do not cross your arms and legs, feel how you breathe in and out. If necessary, unfasten the collar of the shirt, relax the belt. Arbitraryly strain individual muscle groups (for example, buttocks or legs), hold for about five minutes and relax. Try to do this several times. Master a few basic exercises of breathing exercises - also come in handy.

• Take a look at the details. If fear is inevitably impending, try to examine it in detail, focus on the individual elements. Consciously pay attention to what you see around, how it looks, what color it is, what it smells like. In the case of the metro, consider people, try to determine their age and profession in appearance. Listen to their conversations. This simple process will help you get distracted. And inhaling the smells of the subway will help you quickly adapt to fear. The math score also helps very well - count people in a car, try to count the number of stations in the subway map, separately count women, men, children.
• Drink water, put a lollipop in your mouth. You can take them with you when leaving home. This will help switch the body from mobilization to digestion. Use this method only if you do not experience panic attacks with loss of consciousness.

All the above methods, alas, are not suitable in the case of phobias. If a person suffers from irrational fear, then attacks of this nature cannot be controlled by him, and therefore it will be difficult to do something on his own. Specialists who have many techniques and methods of assistance will help fight fear.

In the case of children's fears, an experienced teacher or educator can also help, provided that the fears have begun recently. The neglected forms of phobias by pedagogical methods are not treated. What can a teacher do? He can create an environment for the child in which there will be nothing frightening, and each new action and task will be spoken and prepared in advance. This will help reduce a child’s high level of anxiety. He will gradually begin to relax.

A lot depends on parents and teachers. If the child is fearful, it is very important for him to know that they do not laugh at him, but secure him. Remember how we teach kids to take their first steps? We support by the hand. And at some point let go. What does the child do? He immediately falls, noticing that he is no longer being held. Children behave in exactly the same way while learning to ride a bicycle, skate.

But if at this stage to convince the child that he had not been held before, he rode on his own, then we can assume that the training ended in complete success. That is, the child simply has to believe that he can. And then fear recedes.

There are various methods for the correction of phobias, and today the most effective are psychotherapeutic methods. The “in vivo” immersion method, in which a person, in fact, has to undergo treatment with a shock exposure, has proven itself well.

Immersion in the atmosphere of fear, dosed, regular, carried out under the supervision of a specialist, helps not to overcome horror, but to learn to coexist with it peacefully and calmly. The method is based on the observations of specialists who studied adaptation mechanisms in people in war zones and disasters. It turned out that one can gradually get used to fear, and at the same time its intensity and strength will decline. The brain will cease to perceive danger as an emergency, and will begin to treat it as an ordinary phenomenon.

In practice, this can be done in different ways. It all depends on the individual mental characteristics of a person. One needs to be placed in a serpentarium so that it gets used to snakes, while the other only needs to visit a pet store and examine creeping reptiles from a safe distance. The fear of water can be overcome by swimming and diving lessons from an experienced specialist in these areas, and the fear of the dark - any interesting activities that are possible only in the dark (for example, drawing with light pens or watching filmstrips).

The most common way in psychiatry to help with irrational fears is cognitive-behavioral therapy. It includes several stages. At the first, the doctor must detect all possible situations and circumstances of panic, as well as the reasons that led to the development of phobia. This is done through a survey, testing. As a result, an individual list of “dangerous” situations will be compiled.

Next, the specialist proceeds to replace the patient's incorrect mental attitudes with the correct ones. This is done through conversations, neurolinguistic programming, hypnosis sessions. The task is to eliminate the attitude that makes a person believe that tiny kittens can be deadly, that bats and spiders threaten a person’s life, that danger can hide in the dark, that society is hostile.

Correct attitudes, gradually becoming their own, solve the problem of irrationality of fear. Man now not only understands that fearing a spider is stupid, but sees spider life as a great benefit to the planet. He admits the fact of the existence of the spider without horror and is ready to put up with it. Of course, no one forces a spider to love, this is not required. But the panic attacks that every encounter with arthropods used to take place will be gone.

At the final stage of cognitive-behavioral therapy, a gradual immersion in dangerous situations begins. From the compiled list, first take those that initially caused the least anxiety and sort out all the circumstances according to the increasing rating of the anxiety scale. In other words, the most severe nightmares, which before the start of treatment caused a holy horror and abomination, will begin to translate into reality the latter.

Not all situations can be experienced in reality. For example, a person is afraid of space and stars or aliens. Do not send him to the ISS, so that he personally will be convinced of the absence of green men in orbit!

In this case, specialists can apply hypnotic methods, in which the situation is invented by the doctor and transmitted to the patient under hypnosis. A person believes in a trance that he is currently present on the ISS or on Mars, that he has met an alien creature. He can communicate with the doctor, give him everything that he sees, feels. This is how immersion and adaptation takes place, and ultimately, the depreciation of fear as such.

Sometimes psychotherapy is supplemented with medications, but this is not done so often. The fact is that there is no specific cure for fear. Tranquilizers only help suppress a panic attack, they do not treat the condition and its causes, in addition, such drugs can cause dependence. Antidepressants help with the concomitant state of depression (people with phobias are very prone to this scourge).

To normalize sleep, sleeping pills can be recommended, and doctors often recommend sedatives to help calm down.

The vast majority of pathological fears that prevent us from living fully and make us dream of getting rid of them are formed in childhood. Therefore, psychologists recommend that parents pay special attention to this issue, because we are fully capable of raising a person with a normal healthy level of fear of something. To do this, try from an early age to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in the house and family - fears become less when they are spoken and discussed.

• Do not scoff at the child’s fear, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you. If the kid claims that Buka lives in the closet, then this is really so in his perception of the world. Listen carefully and come up with a way to defeat Buka (it can be anything from a completely eaten dinner to a ritual with a rhyme before bedtime).
• Always find time for the baby. There is never much affection and attention. This is his “safety cable”, which will help to cope with any difficulties, including fear.
• Do not provoke fears spontaneously - Do not invent scary stories about the naughty babies that the forest monster takes, do not teach the child to swim, pushing him from the side or pier despite the protests.
• Defeat Your Own Adult Fears. Often children inherit our fears only because they consider the parents' understanding of the world to be the only true one. A mother who is afraid of mice is very likely to have a child who will also be afraid of mice. And genes have nothing to do with it. It's just that a child from childhood will see a mother’s reaction to a mouse and will necessarily copy it.

Specialists do not advise scolding and punishing a child for his fears, ignoring them, considering them frivolous. Also, do not take a child to a funeral until adolescence, show him horror films.

You can not link the death of someone close to the disease, even if the cause of death was the disease - in the mind of the baby there will be a clear connection between the concept of "get sick" and the concept of "die." This increases anxiety at every cold or illness of one of the family members. It is very important not to refuse the help of psychologists, psychotherapists, if you cannot cope with the problem yourself or your child.