Self-confidence: what is it and how is it different from self-confidence?

It seems to many that self-confident people live easily. All they get without much effort. They step over failures without even noticing. But is it really so?

Some do not clearly understand the meaning of the word "self-confident." Seeing a successful person, consider him that way. But this concept, according to experts, is more likely to have a negative connotation than a positive one. Others, on the contrary, too "blacken out" this trait of a person’s character, confusing it with excessive self-esteem or excessive arrogance.

Self-confidence and self-confidence are significantly different from each other. The difference is that the first definition is suitable for people who only pretend that they all can and do not need any help. While a confident person, in fact, he has sufficient knowledge and skills to cope with almost any task. The former may say for years that very soon a priceless work of literature will come out from under their pen, while the latter will silently publish several works that will be very popular.

Paradoxical as it sounds, psychologists say that self-confidence is nothing more than a complete lack of self-confidence. The speech and behavior of such a person is full of bravado. Self-confident are ready to praise themselves constantly, although in fact, even with any talents, they are simply afraid to use it.

It seems that a proud person is a proud person. And if you look closely at him, you can see from him the same features as that of an offended child. By the way, it is from childhood that all these qualities come.

The most common prerequisites for this are two completely opposite conditions.

1. First - Adults make excessive demands on the baby, criticize him for the slightest mistake, awkward appearance, lack of physical strength, some talents. For example, parents drove into their heads that their child must certainly become a great violinist, and the child "bear in the ear." No matter how he tries, he does not succeed in meeting the expectations of his relatives. The first ones are furious, the second - in complexes.
2. The second reason - the offspring bathes in the praises of relatives and teachers. They inspire him from young nails that he is the most intelligent, handsome, capable. As a result, the young creature believes so much in it that he begins to consider himself omnipotent, although in reality he does not shine with any talents, the desire to learn and work on himself.

Understanding that this is just such a person is very simple. Here are some of the main differences between a self-confident person.

• Any criticism is perceived by them as a personal insult. He does not know how to listen to others. In any debate, he wants to come out victorious. Moreover, his main arguments are screams, aggression, and sometimes even hysteria.
• A self-confident person experiences every mistake as a personal tragedy. At the same time, it occurred, according to his deep conviction, solely due to an unsuccessful combination of circumstances or even someone else's malice.
• Such a citizen constantly sings hymns to the glory of his beloved. He assures that he is a superman capable of any accomplishments.
• This type is not able to work on the same project for a long time if it causes him any difficulties. His complexes do not allow him to go forward. He cannot take even the slightest blunder. Indeed, in the eyes of others and his own, he must remain a genius.
• A self-confident employee will never finish what he has already done. He will not even try to work on the bugs. Everything that he creates, in his opinion, is already impeccable.

Sometimes self-confidence brings positive results. For example, when a person may not respond to excessive criticism and continues to go his own way. The problem is that such people have everything in superlatives. And that means self-confidence often becomes excessive. Its excess leads to financial failures - too self-confident person can make a mistake, while not doubting for a moment that he is right. He will invest in a bank that, according to all forecasts, will “burst” tomorrow, but his self-confidence does not allow him to analyze the situation and the market.

Excessive self-confidence is fraught with other dangers. Such a person often cannot adequately assess his appearance and state of health. He carefully does not notice any flaws, which often leads to the fact that he feels poor health, even carefully, from himself. Writes off everything in bad weather, mood, others. As a result, a visit to the doctor is not even delayed, but is not considered in principle.

Often, there are people among the self-confident overweight. They do not respond to comments from friends and relatives, do not want to understand that this not only spoils their appearance, but also leads to serious consequences.Confident in their superiority, such patients go to the doctors when it is already late, if at all, and one of their distinguishing features is propensity to self-medicate.

Indeed, excessive suspiciousness also does not lead to anything good. Therefore, if you recognize yourself in the above-described citizen, it is time to think and adjust your behavior, lifestyle, look at yourself and those around you. After all, even the most brilliant artist will remain unknown if he does not have enough self-confidence to open his own opening day or show a painting to a recognized master. Not a single book will be published, even if its author is the second Pushkin, if at the same time he regularly puts all his manuscripts on the table and does not show them even to his closest relatives and friends.

To become a self-confident person, but not overestimate one’s own capabilities, worth a few steps. This will help to use internal forces and easier to solve any problems, both professional and personal. Primarily change your attitude to criticism. Yes, it is not always pleasant and sometimes not constructive. But this is only at times. Often, from those who criticize us, we can take the experience or knowledge that is missing from us. Treat conversations like school lessons. Some of the knowledge gained in the future will be very useful.

Second rule - celebrate your victories. Of course, you should not go to a party with friends after each successful step. Keep a diary and write down your achievements - the transition to proper nutrition, regular visits to the gym, courtesy, everything that was not peculiar to you before, but what you were able to achieve. This is your win list. Very soon, defeats in life will become much less.

Third - do not be afraid to make mistakes. You can only remain perfect without doing anything. Do not take every slip as a complete failure. Try to learn to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings. Remember what Munchausen said? “All the stupid things on earth are done with a serious expression on his face. So smile, gentlemen. ” Laughter not only raises the mood, but also prolongs life, and it often helps to find a way out of the most difficult and sometimes deadlock situation.

And the last - dream, set yourself new goals. You have already earned an apartment, a car and even a yacht, but it does not bring you pleasure? Talk to yourself. What do you really want? Maybe you always wanted to travel a lot or go dancing in the most expensive samba school in Brazil? Remember your childhood wishes and rush to meet them.

If you can change yourself overly self-confident, then it’s difficult to calm such a person in your environment. Moreover, his bad example can become contagious. Therefore, if you find yourself too self-confident citizen, adhere to the following rules.

• Never respond with rudeness to rudeness, do not arrange a “bazaar” from the dispute, keep calm, even if your self-confident interlocutor falls into a hysteria.
• Don't be afraid to stop him with a sharp question - for example, “Why are you yelling or being rude to me?” More often than not, all this drives an overly confident person into a stupor. Indeed, for him, elevated tones are the norm of life, he does not even notice that the decibels are “off scale”.
• Do not take everything he said as a dogma. Analyze the words and, if you understand that before you is just a notorious Mr. (miss) Self-Confidence, forget the conversation with him, imagine that it was a bad dream.
• Do not go with a confident person about.To end a non-constructive conversation with him, use a short phrase: "Thank you, I will take into account everything you said." Next, follow the previous paragraph.