Many women suspect their husband of infidelity and live in constant scandals and hassle. To make family life better, you need to become familiar with how to stop being jealous of your husband and normalize your internal balance.
What can cause jealousy?
Jealousy is the destructive feeling that every person has encountered. It can occur to different people. Children are jealous of their parents, employees can be jealous of their boss, and this also occurs in the company of friends. Often there is a situation where wives are jealous of their husbands.
You need to figure out what can cause jealousy. From the point of view of psychology, this is due to several reasons.
- Fear of losing a loved one. Fear that someone will be able to take away moments when people are together. A person is afraid of losing his comfort zone, an interesting pastime and other fascinating things. Fear is a basic feeling that has great power. It is difficult to compare with calm.
- Jealousy is associated with envy. It is caused by dissatisfaction with those who have won the attention of her husband. A rich imagination begins to paint a portrait of an ideal rival who is much younger, more beautiful and smarter. If there are complexes, they will "finish off" from the inside. Such a duet is the most terrible.
- Jealousy is considered the “side effect” of idealizing relationships. Many people believe that there is "love to the grave" and even for a little flirting should be executed. Such stereotypes are wrong.There can be many moments of different nature in life, so all idealization will be repeatedly tested for strength.
- Low self-esteem. Past grievances, almost healing wounds will constantly remind of themselves. They will say that you are supposedly unattractive, do not differ in intelligence and have not achieved anything in life. Even if this situation is incorrect, the complexes will always be nearby. They are distinguished by survivability and illogicality.
- Jealousy is often associated with sad experience. When familiar signs of betrayal arise, a defensive reaction comes into play.
- Jealousy is an offense. Feeling can be associated with deception, a fracture of the personal scenario of life, rejection.
- The instinct of the owner. There is no need to talk about feelings, because they are not there or they are in no way associated with such jealousy. A person begins to get annoyed when someone encroaches on his personal thing.
- Tribute to the public. The environment repeatedly tells stories about how ideal wives are abandoned by spouses. Similar cases are often found in films. Based on this, a feeling of anger arises.
Jealousy is considered a pleasure. It gives excitement of an aggressive nature, as it is an energy surge of emotions.
Experiencing it, a person already unconsciously wants to receive such sensations in order to experience the severity of pleasure.
To whom are husband jealous?
It is believed that a jealous wife does not even need a reason, she is jealous of everyone, and not just a real lover (if any). However, there are several main reasons.
- To the past. Failure to understand his life that existed before. A constant analysis of the actions of men at present and his past.
- To colleagues girls and to girlfriend. This is the most common option. The environment of women is annoying and annoying. There are thoughts that everyone flirt with her husband, and not communicate at work.
- To relatives (to mother, to his sister). Often you may encounter such a situation. The wife believes that a man should belong only to her and solve problems only within their family. He should be indifferent to women from his “second” family.
- To the ex-wife. A common situation. Most women cannot accept the fact that the husband used to share his bed with another.
- To the wife of a friend. Despite the fact that a friend has long been married, some wives may perceive the spouse of a friend as a rival.
Where to begin?
Women who are jealous of their husband do not know what to do and where to start. To eliminate the negative feeling, it is recommended to start gradually and deal with your emotions. First of all, you need to learn to speak heart to heart. Sounding your anxieties and the reasons for their manifestation will help to understand the situation. Most men think that talking about feelings is a waste of time. You can show the importance of such a conversation and take the relationship to a new level.
A heart-to-heart conversation without tantrums will show the man that he can be heard without complaints, and it turns out to discuss all problems calmly.
Using this method, you can compromise and turn communication into a habit. It should be confessed to her husband that you are gnawing a feeling of jealousy and does not allow you to live in peace. You can ask to spend more time together and talk about what is missing in family life (attention, affection, love, recognition).
If there is a feeling that a man is cheating, you can arrange a secret meeting with a girlfriend. This will give a personal secret and the realization that a husband can also have his little secrets. Such a method will help to overcome unreasonable jealousy and make life calm. To stop being jealous and not cheat herself, a woman needs to think about the fact that her man out of a million other female representatives opted for her. If he had a desire to leave his wife, he would have left long ago.In no way is it possible to keep a husband if he wants to leave.
You need to learn how to control feelings and live, enjoying every minute.
No man will like it when his wife pesters him with jealousy, constantly suspects treason and checks.
You need to defeat a bad habit and give your partner warmth, tranquility and comfort. In this case, the couple will cope together and will always be there. They don’t leave good wives.
How to stop unreasonable suspicions of treason?
There are some tips which help get rid of persistent suspicions of infidelity.
- Analysis of your own subconscious. You need to understand yourself, as causeless suspicions indicate a low level of self-esteem. You should learn to be independent and forget about infantilism. Most wives suffering from jealousy sit at home.
- Finding time for yourself. You can find yourself a new hobby or get a job.
- Revision of feelings. Love cannot desire to bind another person to itself. Real feelings are different in that during them you want to give more than receive. You need to curb your emotionality, which does not allow you to deal with unwanted outbreaks of jealousy.
- When the attack of jealousy again manifests itself, you need to take a sitting position and calm down. This will help complete silence. In this position, you need to sit for a few minutes and understand: is there a reason for jealousy in reality.
How to overcome distrust of her husband after treason?
Some women cannot psychologically forgive their spouse for treason. Another category may give a second chance. However, a feeling of mistrust after betrayal is still able to continue to exist in the family. If you have such a feeling, you should understand: if the husband after the betrayal remained with his wife, then he loves her. From emotional burdens there are special mechanisms. This is a psychological defense in which the function of the subject for self-defense is performed by the psyche.
The first method is called crowding out. The second name is forgetting the situation. All unpleasant situations need to be transferred to your subconscious. A similar mechanism operates on an automatic level. If a woman has no mental problems, self-defense will work automatically. The second method is called rationalization. It can be used on a conscious level. Man himself is able to translate his feelings and emotions into rationalism. To do this, you should say to yourself: “If my husband cheated on me and did not go to another, then I am not indifferent to him. Therefore, he loves me. ” This method is suitable for people who have a well developed left hemisphere (techies).
You need to learn to trust your soul mate, even if once she stumbled.
A woman is afraid of a repetition of the situation, and the environment dictates its stereotypes: "Man does not change," "betrayed once, betray and twice." You can not succumb to such provocations. You can listen only to yourself and your heart. His husband needs to be trusted. If he, after having stumbled, repented of his deeds, such an act should be evaluated. A wise woman will forgive and forget. Further relations should be discussed in detail. You can’t just throw a dear person out of your life in order to constantly regret it later. Everyone deserves a second chance.
How to get rid of jealousy of the past?
Getting acquainted with a man, a woman begins to worry about the fact that in the past he had a relationship. The feeling of fear from the fact that my husband could have gotten better earlier does not make it possible to build a relationship. To remove unnecessary experiences associated with jealousy of the former, you need to look at the situation from the other side. Since her husband previously had experience in a relationship, he has formed skills that he wants to give and demonstrate at the moment.
It is necessary to overcome jealousy and replace it with gratitude to the past, since it was it that made the man what he is now.
Also, a woman may worry about whether her husband has forgotten past relationships. Since she does not know what kind of relationship developed in the past, the brain begins to draw different pictures. In this case, you should not ask your spouse about the past, as he will translate everything as a joke. According to practice, such questions begin to be asked by ladies who are not completely sure of their choice in the seriousness of the partner's intentions.
You need to work on yourself and raise self-esteem. Then all uncertainty will disappear, and the woman will be able to trust her soul mate.
When internal conflicts are resolved, relations will reach a new level. If a man chose a woman and is close to her, she means a lot to him. You should not live in the past.
How to stop being jealous of a husband for an ex-wife?
Psychologists advise not to think about what kind of relationship was between the husband and ex-wife. You should focus on the feelings that are in the family now. Such concentration of attention will help to direct thoughts in the right direction and improve mutual understanding between partners. This will help to become the most significant woman in the life of his man and help him forget his past. No need to worry and ask meaningless questions. It is better to give your partner love, joyful moments and your feminine energy. Filling yourself and him to the brim, you can remove the excitement and jealousy, for which there is no place left.
Psychologist's advice
Psychologists advise fight jealousy by the following methods.
- You must always remember about self-control and not throw a tantrum for no reason. Jealousy should be removed from the relationship gradually, working out every suspicion that arises in the head.
- It is necessary to become a better wife for a husband. This will help cleaning the house, cooking, arranging comfort and raising children. It is important to show your key qualities as homekeepers that men like.
- If you can’t cope with attacks of jealousy yourself, you can make an appointment with a psychologist. Reviews will help you choose the right specialist at affordable prices. Having visited the first session, you can understand how to move on.
- You need to start monitoring your appearance so as not to waste time tracking your husband. To do this, hiking in the gym, yoga or dancing. Periodic change of wardrobe and image will help to love yourself and discard negative thoughts.
- Every day you should find positive points in your husband's behavior. Searching for pleasant things in everyday details will help to look differently at your partner.
For advice from a psychologist on how to stop being jealous of your husband, see the video below.