The husband does not want to work: causes and solutions

Since ancient times, a man has been considered the main earner, providing the family with food and all material wealth. Currently, unfortunately, cases of refusal of the stronger sex from this duty have become more frequent. We will talk about what are the causes and how to solve such a problem in the family in our article.

The excessive independence of women often turns the head of the family into a weak, lazy, non-initiative person. Psychologists distinguish several types of men who do not want to work.

• The first type includes a misanthrope, which strains communication with people. It is difficult for him to be in society because of his isolation. He prefers solitude, silence and a homely atmosphere. When the slightest problems appear at work, such people without regret make a decision on dismissal. Psychologists recommend misanthropes to look for work of a remote type, for example, via the Internet.

You can craft any items at home or sew things for sale. This work allows you to earn money without direct contact and communication with other people.

• A melancholic is prone to negative thinking. He is driven into depression by any trifle, a minor remark by his superiors. There is a fear of again encountering a similar situation, and petty failure discourages the desire to seek work. Melancholic everywhere is bad, he is not happy with everything. He constantly whines and complains, therefore the management prefers to say goodbye to him faster.

The wife is advised to morally support, regularly praise her husband, admire him. Melancholic can not be criticized and scolded, otherwise he will completely give up.The desire to act appears only after gaining faith in oneself.

• Narcissus loves only his own person, endlessly admires himself. The world should revolve only around him. He considers himself the most competent employee. Employment often does not last long due to strong narcissism, poor working capacity and insufficient qualifications. The employee annoys his superiors with his narcissism, so they say goodbye to him as soon as possible.

Such a person does not know how to work and prefers to be supported by his wife. Psychologists recommend limiting it to money, purchasing the right clothes.

• The concept of "sissy" is associated with psychological problems that have arisen due to improper education. Parents did not allow his son to engage in dangerous business, they did all the difficult work for him. Having married, the guy expects the same actions from his life partner. Mamenkin’s son does not know how to take responsibility, to cope with difficulties, as he is used to the fact that all important matters are decided by others (awaiting patronage).

It seems to the man that at work he is underestimated, disliked, too stressed. He is sure that he is not obliged to do anything for others. The wife should constantly inspire him that the husband is an excellent and reliable worker, he is already an adult, therefore he is able to earn money and support his family. It is advised to forcibly assign household chores and responsibility for the family to the chosen one. The process of re-education lasts a long time, but often ends successfully.

• A slow type of personality is characterized by a particularly careful approach to the choice of employment. In reality, a person may be a workaholic, but too afraid to make a mistake. For a long time and carefully he selects a good job: he analyzes, thinks, doubts. Psychologists recommend that the wife praise the spouse in order to increase self-esteem and confidence in their capabilities, together with him to consider the available vacancies, seek out the advantages of their various options, express joy over the prospects of employment and make plans related to the husband’s potential earnings.

It is necessary to convince the spouse of the futility of postponing a job search. As a rule, such people are able to work in one place for a long time, and most employers are satisfied with them.

• An alcoholic does not feel his own responsibility to his family. He drinks every day, quickly loses his job, for a long time he cannot get a job in another organization, while he does not recognize his problem. It is necessary to limit the alcoholic in finances as much as possible.

The husband does not want to work for various reasons. Consider them.

Often, the reasons lie in the character and worldview of a man. The culprits may be wealthy parents who provide for their son. The heir has personal savings, which he easily spends. It is unlikely that such a person would want to change the idle forwarding of time to work. There are many reasons for not giving up work. He likes to live at someone else's expense.

Excessive activity of the wife, voluntary bearing the burden of responsibility on himself often contributes to the occurrence of passivity in the male representative. The lazy person gladly accepts the care and attention of his soulmate, does not want to strain again, prefers to lie on the couch, watch TV, play computer games. He does not want to violate a measured way of life.

There are people waiting for their high point. Representatives of creative professions usually fall into a similar situation: artists, writers, musicians, actors. They are in constant search of themselves and do not want to waste their energy on ordinary labor.

Acquired bad experience can also lead to unwillingness to attempt employment. In addition, the spouse may have an unbearable character that does not allow a normal interview, communicate with the employer and join the team. Such a person prefers to stay at home.

Objective reasons can lead to inaction of the husband.

• The lack of vacant posts, the lack of demand for the profession leads to unemployment.
• Living in a small village makes it difficult to find a job.
• Health problems prevent full functioning.
• Retirement age gives a person the right to well-deserved rest. In addition, enterprises do not always seek to hire an older employee.
• It can be difficult for a graduate of a college or university to get a job in a specialty. Lack of experience makes it difficult to find a suitable place.

Any case of the head of the family refusing to earn money requires a thorough analysis. It is necessary to remember from what time a man refuses to provide for his family. It could be influenced by stressful situations, the death of a close relative, a major failure, a quarrel or a protracted conflict with someone close.

The unwillingness of career self-fulfillment, noticed by the chosen one even before marriage, testifies to his life position. It is unlikely that a person’s worldview will change over time. Such a partner is able to sit back for more than 10 years, often even a lifetime. If a man has been sitting at home for 3 years, does not want to look for work, constantly takes money from friends and neighbors, then you should not build empty illusions. With him you need to leave without regret.

It is important for a man to feel like the head of the family, the breadwinner. There are cases when the husband does not want to work in his first marriage, he is constantly nibbling with guilt because of abuse and eternal discontent of his wife. The result is a divorce. Having married a second time, the man earns a lot and successfully does the housework, because the new darling makes him understand that it is he who is her main support and hope. A person begins to feel like a getter, to feel responsibility for loved ones.

Primarily a woman needs to show wisdom, tact and patience. It is necessary to express support and understanding to your companion. To instill confidence in a partner, emphasis is placed on his positive qualities, merits and prospects for personal growth. Only sincere faith in a spouse, the positive energy of a wife help her husband gain self-confidence.

The main task of a woman is to demonstrate her own weakness and defenselessness, so that the chosen one himself would like to shoulder the heavy burden of responsibility for the family and become the owner of the hearth. Some ladies manage to motivate their husband by an interesting purchase, for example, a car or fishing tackle, an inflatable boat.

In case of temporary absence of work, you should not focus on the problem or raise scandals. In similar situations In no case should you emphasize your superiority over your partner. It humiliates a man, makes him withdraw, withdraw. They do not recommend taking full responsibility for themselves so as not to bring ease and carelessness into the life of a husband. In this case, making money will be problematic. No need to encourage constant lying in front of the TV with beer and expensive cigarettes in hand, bowling with friends.

They are not advised to use the financial assistance of parents, otherwise the spouse will avoid the opportunity to find personal income. No need to look for a part-time job to make ends meet. They do not recommend borrowing money or on credit. Let the husband fully feel the lack of finance. Don’t sacrifice yourself for a loafer. In this case, you can become the initiator of the gap.

Do not intrusively offer your help so as not to offend a person. He should not feel helpless. You can never compare a husband with other men who have achieved some success in life. This approach develops additional complexes in the spouse.

Criticism and reproaches towards the chosen one only aggravate an already difficult situation. You can not blackmail the second half with a divorce, children and not very healthy parents. This behavior destroys relationships. If a woman became pregnant, and the husband does not want this child, understanding the upcoming responsibility for the family, then you should not go along with the spouse and take some measures to get rid of the baby. It is necessary to warn the partner that he will be on maternity leave.

Behave a wife with a child offer more reasonable. You can offer your husband to sit with the baby and do all the housework up to washing the dishes. Sometimes it is necessary to show special rigidity. It is best to set a husband a specific term for employment, after which no money will be allocated for his personal needs. But in no case can one deprive a person of food, because without it he cannot survive.

Experts recommend a good look at the chosen one even before marriage. It is necessary to pay attention to his behavior during a quarrel and conflict. It is necessary to observe the psychology of communication between the groom and his parents.

How to be a woman, if only in marriage it turned out that the husband is a loafer? When a man is naturally parasite, the problem is difficult to solve. A man does not want to work and lives off his wife. If all the actions taken are unsuccessful, then the advice of the psychologist is this: divorce.

In other cases, to preserve the marriage, women are advised to listen to the following recommendations:

• it is necessary to convince the beloved that the wife craves not so much money as the self-realization of her husband for his own happiness;
• constantly encourage the spouse in the search for a job, if necessary, take an active part in this;
• systematically through his behavior to make it clear to the partner that she is a life partner, and not a mother, so that he does not feel like a child;
• ensure peaceful coexistence and mutual respect for each other.

The patience of the wife, her ability to negotiate without making claims and reproaches, all kinds of support for the partner without blocking him “oxygen” contribute to the preservation of the marriage.