Each personality is unique, and a particular person prefers a lifestyle in accordance with his psychotype. Some do not imagine life without constant communication with many friends and strangers, while others prefer a secluded lifestyle. Is it possible to love solitude and why is it normal? Let's try to figure it out.
Who likes solitude?
There are a lot of people who love solitude, or rather, solitude, in society. For some, loneliness is a time of enjoyment, pleasure and happiness, for others it is a serious problem, suffering and longing. There are also people in whom periods of craving for loneliness alternate with an unbridled desire for non-stop communication.
In the modern rhythm of life, absolute solitude still cannot be achieved. But for many it becomes a time when a person can afford to shut himself off from the bustling world, plunge into a thoughtful state, slowly engage in introspection and reflect on your favorite topics. No one and nothing distracts, does not interfere, does not touch.
Such a person most often prefers to stay at home in peace and quiet instead of a noisy party in the company of new friends, and there is always a good reason to refuse an invitation.
Different people have different reasons for loneliness. The personality of a person is so multifaceted that it is simply impossible to derive some indisputable regularity. But general trends do exist.
- Introverts. People of this psychological type are much less focused on interaction with the outside world than with themselves, focused on the inner world, almost constantly engaged in self-knowledge, do not like publicity in any manifestations.The focus of attention of such people is focused on themselves. Alone, introverts restore energy spent in the social environment, and are convinced that they are not alone in solitude.
- Persons with Abstract Thinking (creativity, scientific activity, new concepts, spiritual direction, something else similar). It is important for them to concentrate on their inner ideas, dreams, plans. In the presence of strangers, this is unlikely to succeed, therefore, privacy for such people is their own element.
- Highly insecure people with low self-esteem. It is difficult for them to be in the public eye, in solitude they feel much more comfortable.
- People with physical disabilities. Not all members of society, with which such people have to contact, have tact and a sense of proportion. It is unlikely that anyone will like catching regretful looks, or even hearing lamentations in their address, therefore these people, as a rule, love loneliness.
- Couplesin which partners, even if they are loving spouses, prefer to have personal space, mark boundaries, practice temporary solitude.
- Difficult, difficult relationship. A tired, exhausted person, no matter whether a man or a woman, involuntarily seeks solitude in order to at least temporarily escape from a real nightmare.
- It happens that by the will of fate a person must be forced to put up with loneliness, gradually gets used to being alone and no longer wants any changes, fearing new losses. He is well and comfortable alone.
It doesn’t even occur to normal people who love loneliness to regret and be sad that noisy groups of friends with sounds of loud music are not going to gather at their place.
Usually they don’t sit idle, but busy pondering their ideas or intensive study something new (foreign language, for example). Knowing their inner world well, they better understand the fears and experiences of other people, sympathize with them, and often show empathy (empathy). Typically, such people are characterized by restraint, poise, developed creative imagination. They really appreciate the events that take place, easily regulate their emotions, are polite to others.
Lovers of solitude in life try to choose a profession related to mental activity. These are mathematicians, inventors, philosophers, composers, writers. They have powerful intellectual potential, are aimed at knowing themselves and gain complete harmony only when they are alone with themselves. Abstract intelligence allows them to cope with arch-complicated concepts, solve scientific problems, create new concepts, move progress.
Of course, not all ordinary people, prone to solitude, become outstanding scientists. But in modern reality, choosing a job with minimal contact with the environment will not be difficult. These are computer programmers, freelancers, librarians, forestry workers, etc.
Is this normal?
In psychology, there is a whole direction whose proponents argue that the problem of loneliness does not exist at all. It is a mistake to assume that absolutely all people who periodically retire and in every possible way avoid communication are egoists and antisocial personalities. Most of them do not have a hint of any mental deviation. For an ordinary person, loving solitude is quite normal. There are extroverts, as open and sociable as possible, they adore noisy companies, are ready for constant conversations with anyone about everything and about nothing, for them the loneliness of “death is like”.
There are introverts who need privacy and silence. Forced long stay among other people mentally exhausts them, and loneliness for them is a long-awaited vacation. In solitude, their inner world is filled with harmony, thoughts come to order, internal tension disappears. Alone, a person will calm down and be ready for communication again.
Both states are the norm. The important thing is not to turn your life into loneliness on an ongoing basis. You can not completely shut yourself. One must be able to enjoy life, be sure to find the time (dosed at the discretion of the person himself) to communicate with other people (relatives, acquaintances, colleagues), to create romantic relationships, to share leisure time with friends. And the coveted time for solitude with the usual distance from worldly vanity and your favorite thoughts (for example, philosophical categories, the meaning of life, space and the Universe) will always be found.
It should be noted that we are talking about psychologically healthy, normal personalities, but completely different in psychotype, formed character, temperament, and life bases for loneliness. A neurotic perception of a life position and the pathological experiences of loneliness associated with it, the desire for 24-hour detachment from people and coldness towards all can lead to serious consequences and continuous suffering, but this is already from the field of medicine.
How to live comfortably?
For an intelligent, extraordinary, self-sufficient person, solitude – absolutely natural, happy condition. It helps to restore the spent strength, get rid of fatigue, and prevent the development of stressful manifestations. After all, loving loneliness does not at all mean protecting oneself from an impregnable wall. A man lives in society, and communication is necessary for him. And in order to live well and comfortable, people want to choose, when, how much and with whom they should communicate and how much time to be in solitude (and not according to established stereotypes in society).
But the craving for loneliness and prolonged solitude change the real perception of the world. It is becoming increasingly difficult for a person to face unforeseen situations and make decisions that require intensive contacts with other people. To solve the problem, he does not want to leave his “shell” at all, and he often prefers to do nothing.
Loneliness is becoming a habit. A sane person will adequately assess the situation and understand that a correction of behavior is needed.. In such a situation, it is important to focus on hard mental work, to get a tangible result, to feel your demand.
Psychologists advise not to be passive, take the initiative, try to communicate more with those who have already earned your trust.
Take a look around, appreciate the world around you, pay attention to interesting people who are not like you. It will soon become apparent that your attitude towards yourself and the world is changing rapidly. You will stop painfully delving into yourself, learn to look positively at yourself from the outside, overcome self-centeredness, direct maximum attention to others. Then the love of solitude will not hinder a comfortable life at all, and time spent alone with yourself will bring the desired minutes of happiness and complete satisfaction with life. Normal social activity, aimed not only at oneself, but also at others, will not allow life to pass by, and next to the format “I love loneliness” there will be a statement: “I love you, life!”.