What kind of people like loneliness?

Today, it is believed that a successful person should be open and sociable, and his whole life should be in full view. On the other hand, history shows that so many successful historical figures did not seek to constantly be in the company. To make communication with such people equally comfortable both for them and for you, it is worthwhile to find out which people like loneliness and how to establish interaction with them correctly.

Even in antiquity, it was noticed that some people prefer to be in society all the time, while others avoid noisy meetings and tend to spend time in company with their own thoughts. However, early researchers of human behavior did not yet separate people according to the direction of their thoughts and instead operated on complex concepts of temperament. Only in the 19th century Carl Jung divided all people into extroverts, whose life energy, according to his definition, was directed to the outside world and communication with others, and introverts who were focused on the world of their own thoughts.

Term "introvert" formed from the Latin phrase intro vertere, which means "turn inward." The German psychologist Hans Eisenck borrowed this word from Jung and slightly changed its meaning. If Jung had this concept not so much to the behavior of a person as to his motives, then Eisenck used this term to describe all people who prefer loneliness and avoid communication.

It is worth considering that in psychiatry the meanings of familiar terms are slightly different from the widespread ones.So, according to Karl Leonhard, extroverts are people without strong will, easily amenable to outside influence, but he called introverts strong-willed people who can act without regard to the opinions of others.

The nature of introverts in most cases has the following basic features:

• openness to new ideas;
• independence from other people's opinions;
• organization and desire to establish their own set of rules for themselves and those around them;
• the presence of rigid boundaries allowed in communication (and at the same time respect for the personal boundaries of other people);
• love of reading;
• the ability to concentrate on the goal and achieve results regardless of external stimuli;
• punctuality and meticulousness even in trifles;
• calmness and resistance to negativity (constant reflection and fixation on one’s own thoughts makes lonely people very persistent);
• self-sufficiency;
• awareness of the value of time (if an introvert honored you with a conversation, you can be sure that the time spent with him will not be wasted);
• loyalty to selected friends and relatives (if an introvert has included you in his circle of friends, then you can rest assured that he will always be faithful to you and will not exchange him for new acquaintances who will seem to him more interesting);
• desire for self-improvement.

Interestingly, many of these qualities make introverts born leaders. At first glance, such a conclusion may seem counterintuitive. But the ability to ignore other people's opinions and make the most informed decisions allows introverts to find the right way out of most situations and lead the rest.

Psychologists were able to establish that the nature of introverts often affects not only their behavior, but also their habits. Such people:

• prefer practical things (including clothes) to beautiful, but impractical;
• They love more relaxed music and less action packed movies than extroverts;
• they try to isolate their workplace from strangers and rarely decorate it.

Do not think that extra- and introversion will forever determine the whole life of a person and affect all his actions. Even the most avid lover of loneliness can be a pleasure to spend time in the company of a good interlocutor, and even the brightest extrovert can enjoy a day of peace and quiet. This feature was also noticed by the creator of the term “introvert” Carl Jung.

Recent studies have shown that in a situation where communication with people is inevitable, introverts may seem more extrovert to others than real extroverts. This is due to the fact that the public behavior of extroverts is intuitive and organic, and they hardly think about their words, gestures and facial expressions, while introverts have to think about every word and movement.

So that communication with people who are striving for loneliness is not a burden either to them or to you, It is worth observing simple and quite logical rules.

• Do not impose. If a lover of loneliness is not interested in communicating with you, then you most likely will not be able to convince him.
• Follow the boundaries. Introverts really value their personal space, so don’t try to leak to where they are not going to let you go. Time will pass, and if you can win the trust of such a person, he will fully open to you.
• Respect his time. Lovers of loneliness know the value of time and always speak to the point. Therefore, try to be concise.
• Never rush such people. It is important for them to formulate the idea as accurately as possible, and this takes time. If you draw answers from them, they will be confused and most likely will stop the conversation.
• Do not interrupt. If a lover of solitude speaks, he should never be disturbed. Otherwise, he will think that you are not interested in him.
• Show interest. Despite the fact that introverts do not depend on other people's opinions and do not need constant emotional nourishment, it is extremely important for them that their interlocutor should have sincere interest in them, and not just kill time by talking.
• And most importantly - do not let labels and stereotypes obscure the person. Even if one of your friends or relatives fits all the signs of an introvert, this does not mean that you can avoid it and ignore it, hoping that your society is not interesting to it. Even the most avid lover of loneliness may need support or company.

It may seem that such a large number of rules makes communication with introverts a difficult task. At first, it will be hard for you to even start a conversation with such a person.

Historically, introverts have been successful in areas where inner insights and flight of thought are more important than teamwork. It is not surprising that among the world famous poets, artists, composers and especially scientists, introverts make up almost the majority.

The most successful introverts in science.

• Isaac Newton - the closeness of the great physicist was well known to his contemporaries, and in many respects “thanks to” such a line of his character, the genius could not find a spouse. He did not have real friends, and almost the entire circle of communication of a talented scientist was reduced to colleagues and students. But even communicating with like-minded people of great mind, Newton managed to enter into conflicts with them, if he believed that they violate the strict set of rules established by him. His conflicts with Robert Hooke, John Flemstead and Gottfried Leibniz are widely known. Despite such a complex character, today Sir Isaac Newton is rightfully considered one of the fathers of modern physics.
• Albert Einstein - the great physicist laid the foundations of the world-famous "General Theory of Relativity" that he did not present in lecture halls or at scientific conferences, but worked as a modest clerk in a Swiss patent office. It was this kind of work that allowed Einstein to avoid communicating with a large number of people and concentrate on his scientific research. Unlike Isaac Newton, Einstein was twice happily married and had many friends around the world, but even being a world celebrity, he always preferred books and formulas to communicating with the public.
• Stephen Hawking - a person who changed our views on the Universe was almost all his life confined to a high-tech wheelchair and could only communicate using a special computer. This, of course, greatly limited his ability to interact with people, so that he could be called an introvert involuntarily. But Stephen himself in an interview with the BBC admitted that since his youth he felt like an introvert and did not look for other people's society. Perhaps it was precisely such a character warehouse that allowed him to heroically endure the worst disease and not break down, like many in such a situation, but achieve new scientific heights.

Paradoxically, there were many prominent politicians among introverts.

The most famous introvert politicians.

• Abraham Lincoln - Thanks to his perseverance and a desire for self-development, one of the best US presidents in history managed to independently master a letter, and then get a lawyer's license without a specialized education.It was the ability not to look back on the opinions of others that helped Lincoln to make a historic decision to abolish slavery, and then win the difficult Civil War.
• Mahatma Gandhi - The ability to listen to oneself and calmly meet any blows of fate helped the Indian independence fighter succeed in this difficult mission.
• Al Gore - Nowadays, the topic of global warming has become the political mainstream, but just 10 years ago it was Al Gore who was one of the few who constantly raised this issue in his public speeches. If the vice president was more dependent on the opinions of those around him who considered him odd for an environmental obsession, he would never have succeeded in popularizing green technologies.

Thanks to perseverance, self-sufficiency and an unusual mindset, lovers of loneliness manage to succeed even in such public professions as music, cinema and sports. Here are just a few of the celebrity introverts:

• Keanu Reeves;
• Johnny Depp;
• Audrey Hepburn;
• Meryl Streep;
• Salma Hayek;
• Courtney Cox;
• Lady Gaga;
• Michael Jordan;
• Karim Abdul-Jabbar.