Offended woman: reasons for resentment against men

Perhaps, any man had to face a female resentment. When a resentful woman knows how to speak out her grudge, and a man knows how to listen and understand, then it’s easy enough for them to solve issues in their relationship. But it also happens that the reason for resentment against a man is incomprehensible to the spouse and he does not know how to behave in such a situation. And sometimes it can be difficult for a woman to understand herself and cope with resentment. How to understand each other and yourself and what to do in a similar situation?

We will proceed from the fact that the man does not know the cause of resentment. Then it can manifest itself like this: she becomes isolated, communicates coldly, does not speak defiantly, or, on the contrary, becomes too demanding, “saws”, finds fault with trifles.

There can be many reasons for this. Here are just a few: fatigue, inattention, offensive words, jealousy, misunderstanding, and so on. But, in the end, they all come down to a silent request (or requirement) of a woman to pay attention to her.

Psychology calls this behavior manipulation. The main sign of the manipulator is insincerity, such a person does not speak directly about his needs, but seeks various kinds of workarounds and does it unconsciously.

Therefore, you need to look deeper. Then, given the unconsciousness of such behavior and the weakness of one who is offended, one can understand that insulting a loved one does not have malicious intent, but by and large it asks for attention and needs its internal strength and support.

It is no secret for men that women marry, among other things, because they need their strength, protection and support. Unfortunately, in the male circle, protection and support are often understood only as physical strength.

But the truth is that a woman often needs moral support no less. An internally strong man will always notice when his companion is disturbing something and will not dismiss her experience.

For a woman, attention, husband's care is like a charger for a battery. They are charged from simple words and hugs and become tireless generators from affectionate treatment. A woman is just waiting for kind words.

It also happens that a girl turns out to be overly capricious special, who does not calm down, even when you have gathered all your understanding and, as it seems to you, gave all your best. At this moment, it’s better to take a break and think about this: men are accustomed to eye-to-eye relationships, and aggression is alien to women by their nature. therefore if a tired wife starts to “gnaw” you, drill them with words and “let poison out”, this does not mean that you need to strike back - it will only be worse for both. It’s just a signal that the energy has run out, it’s time to “charge the batteries”.

The fact is that modern men, many who grew up in the conditions of matriarchy and feminism, sincerely believed that a woman can be strong: a leader, a businesswoman, an athlete, a rock climber, a Komsomol member, etc. Yes, and women themselves almost believed it. But their true nature, tender and fragile, does not at all accept this state of affairs in society and is trying to break down established stereotypes in its relation. True, doing this is not always skillful. But thanks to her such manifestations, men can know for sure: in front of them is a real woman.

When young people just dream of a family, they often don’t realize that the family is not only and not so much a constant holiday, but also hard daily and hourly work on relationships. But this work will be paid off handsomely, and soon they will feel that it brings them an extraordinary joy of reciprocity, penetration and co-creation with their chosen one.

If you do not forget that any relationship is created not only for the sake of your beloved, but for the common good, then the efforts spent on building relationships will bring great joy. The same advice applies to women: do not forget to take care of your “garden of love” every day, and, like a real garden, weed it from weed-insults, water it with kind thoughts and words, and feed it with a balm of tenderness.

It often happens that girls do not admit their grievances, including some kind of game, and the guy may not be aware of the reason for your grievances. These reasons can often be subjective. It happens that for her something is unacceptable in his behavior, but for him this is the norm. For example, a man, having complimented another girl, simply showed courtesy, and his companion is offended.

In order not to carry a grudge in herself, a girl just needs to talk with her lover and express what is in her heart. If a guy apologized, admitted a mistake, and you still can’t calm down, it means that you may be influenced by someone else’s opinion, and someone accidentally “hooked” you with this way of dealing with troubles - to be offended. For example, your friends had a similar negative experience and they advise you not to forgive the villain.

It is time to bring inner purity. Remember and sort through all the similar situations of your friends and close people in which they, too, were offended by men. Soberly analyze these situations and determine who is really right.And even if a friend or mother had a reason for resentment, firmly tell yourself that this is not your experience, but the experience of your girlfriend (mother, etc.). Your situation with your spouse may be somewhat similar to theirs, but you are completely different people and you may have very different circumstances. And henceforth proceed from the circumstances of your specific situation and the characteristics of your and your companion.

If the guy does not admit his mistake, you can express his opinion to him, but after that you need to calm down and forgive the offense. This will help get rid of her. Do not be afraid to be too soft and vulnerable. On the contrary, while forgiving, you will notice that internally you become more stable and strong. And you can’t be confused even by someone’s attempt to assert themselves. You perceive everything calmly, maintaining internal balance. Near such peace, there is no desire to “probe” and provoke. Being close to such peace and such confidence, I want to penetrate them, and to cooperate with you.

To bear grudges in oneself is to do worse only to oneself. An offended man is like a heavy truck pulling a load (and indeed: unforgiveable insults lie like a stone on his heart): he is dull, joyless, he does not want to be with such a person for a long time. Resentment creates ill health. Unforgiven grievances cause nervous tension. And as you know, the nervous system regulates all processes in the body. In a state of stress (prolonged resentment leads the body to this state), it works at the limit of its capabilities and disruptions occur in it.

Imagine your resentment as some kind of energy. Listen to yourself - where it is located in you, what it looks like - shape, color, what sensations it causes - it can be hot or cold, scratching, compressing or chopping. Observe her as if from the outside: what she is doing, what she wants to tell you. Listen - maybe she will say something important to you, maybe you will even hear whose voice she speaks to you. Thank her for the lesson, forgive her coming to you and let go, mentally imagining how she dissipates, like fog, flies into the sky or disappears in another way.

After that, you will feel that you wanted to breathe freely - this has made room for a new and joyful in you. Breathe deeply now as you wish, and imagine that you are filled with pure sparkling light. Performing this exercise regularly, you will notice that your grievances are already kind of automatically released and you feel liberation.

See how to learn how to build relationships without resentment against men in the next video.