What to do if you are offended?

A sense of resentment is a natural reaction to the aggressive and malicious actions of others. In many cases, resentment helps to defend their interests and rights, giving an impetus to retaliatory actions. But what if, in your opinion, you are offended too often? How to behave if you have offended a loved one? The article will focus on how to respond to such unpleasant situations.

Our reaction to the actions of others is very individual. But you must admit, when you see an overly capricious and defiantly vulnerable person, you want to avoid close contact with him.

Surely everyone at least once met such people, meek and non-aggressive, but certainly offended literally the whole world. Indeed, troubles often occur with them, which they long and hard experience. They do not like at work, despite the merits. Even close people often hurt them.

The man himself is meekly undergoing everything that happens, he is not in direct conflict with anyone. The role of the sufferer is very firmly assigned to him.

The fact is that all people are capable of experiencing anger, anxiety, aggression and other emotions. But strong feelings, having arisen in the mind as a reaction to events and situations, require some way out. And here we are talking about the ability or inability to express and experience them.

Characteristics that were described above, experts call masochistic. In this case, we are not talking about sexual preferences. This refers to unconscious revenge on oneself related to the fact that a person does not possess the techniques of an adequate outburst of emotions.

Most often, those whose parents strictly suppressed any manifestation of their child’s feelings become such. He could be condemned or scolded for crying, for loud laughter or inappropriate, according to the parent, a cry, but just a phrase uttered. As a result, a person gets used to hide absolutely all emotions in himself. Including just aggression.

The result is that in adulthood such a person actually prohibits himself from experiencing strong emotions, living them and giving them an adequate exit. He is humbly restrained even in the most egregious situations, which often causes irritation and desire among others to provoke him to any actions.

A very accurate fabulous human prototype with masochistic traits is Cinderella. Meek, kind, unrequited to evil and rudeness girl. She causes contempt and strong hatred among sisters and stepmother. Not giving them absolutely no, even verbal, rebuff, it encourages them to invent more and more sophisticated mockery.

Of course, a couple of questions arise here. If a person really unconsciously suppresses anger in himself, isn’t that good? Is he not happy, forbidding himself to have negative feelings for others? The answer to both of these questions: alas, no.

Suppressed emotions caused by unpleasant situations do not disappear. But since a person does not experience them and does not express his offenders, difficult experiences already turn against him.

Resentment develops into autoaggression. Therefore, in difficult situations, when such a person undergoes insults, mockery or oppression, it is much easier for him to remain a humble sheep. Then someone else will be bad and guilty. Being unrequited, people with such a character trait retain in their minds their image uncleaned, which is very important for them.

You may have recognized in your character the traits of someone from your loved ones or yourself. Next, let's talk about how to behave when offended.

Psychology gives a lot of recommendations on how to behave appropriately in case of insult, rudeness and other unpleasant actions from others. However, absolutely universal instructions for all occasions, of course, are not. In each specific situation, only you yourself can assess its severity and seriousness, and then decide how to respond to it.

• Trouble is better to skip past yourself than to focus on them. Appreciate your peace of mind and take care of your nerves. Weigh first what happened. Understand the reasons for the behavior of the one who offended you. Perhaps the situation happened by chance, and you really did not want to do harm. If the offender sincerely apologized, it is best to forgive him and thereby render a service to himself, letting go of his negativity.
• Before deciding to respond, think about how it will look from the outside. Say a colleague threw you an unsuccessful joke, and you burst out in response with curses. Doesn't that ruin your image? People are drawn to those who are calm and adequate, capable of understanding errors, not spraying themselves over trifles. To fall to the level of the offender or even try to overtake him is ugly and unworthy.

• If unlawful acts have been committed against you, you have every right to contact the police. Weaning or deterioration of things and property, obscene threats and insults, the use of even slight violence - this is a violation of the law. A statement to the relevant authorities will tame the bully and give the insolent a good lesson.
• Perhaps you are just too prone to resentment. You are very hurt by any jokes addressed to you, it seems that all people constantly harass you, and your beloved man does everything to you in spite. In this case, you need to work with this. Try not to flash immediately, but to objectively scroll and evaluate the situation. Express your claim calmly.It may well be that the offender himself was ready to apologize, but you scared him off with your anger.
• It really hurts when a loved one offends. If we are still ready to give up on people indifferent to us, then in the case of the misconduct of a guy, husband or wife, negative feelings and resentment seem to be multiplied at times. With a loved one, you should be especially careful in expressing emotions. Do you really need a “war” in a relationship?

• There are people who are rude, rude and offend intentionally. It is better not to honor them with your attention and, if possible, minimize or stop communicating with them.
• Often, dealing with emotions helps a conversation with a person you trust. Tell him about your resentment, express all your feelings about this. By letting go of feelings in this way, you are most likely to cool off and relate to the trouble that has occurred.

What to do if you are constantly offended, see the next video.