Psychologists named 5 reasons why lovers move away from each other
When a relationship is just starting, it always seems like it's forever. In extreme cases - for a long time. But gradually partners are moving apart in about 97% of cases. Why this happens, psychologists tried to find out.
Specialists at Harvard University of Psychology and Psychoanalysis named five main reasons why even strong and cloudless relationships begin to crumble and undergo changes over time:
1. Criticism
The gold standard for those who want to maintain a relationship with a partner is considered a certain ratio of positive and negative dialogs. At 80% of the total positive should be no more than 20% of negative criticisms.
In everyday life it is difficult to do without criticism, and this is understandable, but it is important to learn how to dose it correctly.
If the number of reproaches and stinging remarks with the motive “well, that was a joke!” begins to exceed the treasured 20%, the relationship begins to fall apart. Even a slight bias is dangerous, scientists say, what can we say about situations when one of the partners begins to constantly grumble and express dissatisfaction!
2. Ability to argue
Truth is born in a dispute, and a good argument is a great intellectual exercise. But only for those who can argue. For the most part, two different people with different oratory skills are found in the same pair, and already at the stage of sweets and bouquets you can notice (from the outside, naturally, since the lovers themselves are blind) who their couples dominate in the debate.
Usually one argues reasonably and calmly, and the second cannot justify his statements or his justification is absurd, and here a gradual abyss begins to spread, into which sooner or later both fall.
3. Low empathy
Empathy - the ability to empathize, sympathize.If one is in trouble, the second he expects support and sympathy in the first place. But it so happens that one of the partners has a lower level of empathy than the second, and he can easily limit himself to the banal “sympathize”, without showing full empathy.
It offends, causes bewilderment, accumulates. And sooner or later leads to the fact that the offended partner begins to move away.
4. Inattention
Very often, partners do not hear each other's true desires. One threw in casual that he liked this T-shirt, and the second would buy him a completely different one as a gift. How so, did they say? Hints were? Yes, he just did not hear them.
If you are more interested in hobbies and hobbies of your partner, then it will be easier for you to choose the right gifts, and in general you can learn much more about your soul mate!
5.Technophilia
Gadgets, social networks and virtual communication disconnect living and real people. If the partner or both do not know the measures, and spend more time online than with a living person, then the relationship is doomed. They don’t hear a partner, they don’t know anything about him, except that he himself talks about himself in social networks, they can not sympathize and empathize.
If you work on each of the five points, psychologists say, then relationships are likely to be saved and saved. The main thing is to have time to do it on time. If there is already an abyss, then it will be extremely difficult to stop the distance.
