Understanding how to forgive is an important issue that can be solved with the help of a psychologist, or you can try to do it yourself. After all, long-standing resentments against themselves, parents, friends, casual acquaintances, like old sores, they constantly make themselves felt. They whine just like physical wounds.
Why is it necessary?
Forgiveness meditation is needed not by those who have offended us, but by ourselves. All insults that we hold in ourselves, like a heavy load pull us to the bottom or back. We cannot go further without throwing these stones out of the sinus. They themselves will not leave, but on the contrary, they will grow in our body, poisoning it like real poison.
Experts call this meditation hygiene for the soul. The soul must be cleansed of all insults. This is necessary for any person, regardless of age, gender, social status. Some are sure that the word “offended” came from two - “offended”, “myself”.
There are many folk sayings about this. One of them, for example, says that they carry water on offended ones.
By and large, a person himself bears such an overwhelming burden upon himself, holding a grudge.
This is a destructive force, which not only psychologists say, but also representatives of various religious faiths. In Orthodoxy there is even a commandment - love your enemy as yourself. If you rephrase and rethink this law of God a little, then without forgiving the offender, we will soon become enemies to ourselves.
Therefore, from all negative memories and need to get rid of. The sooner this happens, the sooner you will go to a brighter future.
Preparation
First, allow enough time for the ritual in your schedule. Choose a place where no one would distract you from this activity. Turn off the phone.You have to focus on yourself, your feelings and memories. It should be an honest conversation with oneself, and therefore any interference from outside can violate this secret of confession.
Take a piece of paper and write down the names of everyone who once offended you. Among them may be parents, and a girl from kindergarten, and a coach who did not take you to the youth team. However, at the top of the list, there will most likely be people who are truly close to you. Because quarrels with them we are experiencing especially hard. And to work on the errors in this case will have to be longer and harder.
But first things first. You need to begin to forgive the one who is most dear to you, relationships with whom are especially valuable, and the conflict is most frustrating.
To increase efficiency, it is recommended to take a photo of this person.
Now you can begin the process of meditation itself.
How to forget and release a grudge against people?
This practice is best repeated three times a day - in the morning, at lunchtime and again in the evening. The process of releasing grievances is complex and requires concentration, diligence and most importantly - the desire to part with the negative.
We put a photo of our offender in front of us. If you could not find the picture, we have to clearly image its image.
Stage 1
Concentrate your light ray on who your efforts towards reconciliation are directed to. Introduce the person well. Then say the following phrases to him: “With a feeling of love and gratitude, I sincerely forgive ... (here you should give the name of the person you are addressing) and comprehensively accept it as it is. I ask you to forgive me for all my feelings, emotions and actions against this person. "
Such a mantra should be recited many times in a row in 5 minutes. An important condition - you must do this without fail smiling. Let this smile be strained in the first seconds, soon your face will be lit up with real, and your eyes will be filled with happiness.
But first, remember all the details of the unpleasant incident that occurred with this person, and let go of the situation. Forgive the offender for a start, at least in your imagination.
Stage 2
In the next step, we have to correct situations in which we ourselves are to blame, for which we will also spend about 5 minutes. During this time, we will pronounce the following words: “I apologize to ... (we reinsert the name of the person with whom we are having a mental conversation) for all my thoughts, emotions and actions in relation to him”. In this case, it is necessary to feel the condition of the one to whom we inflicted a wound.
Stage 3
We begin the final cycle of meditation on forgiveness. His main phrase: “With love and gratitude ... (again, we call the name of the person we are addressing) forgives me”.
At this moment, you need to not only imagine the image of your vis-a-vis, you need to see him smiling or even holding out his hands for a hug. If this happened, then you have succeeded. One such session, most likely, will not be enough to achieve the desired purification of the soul. But even if the changes do not appear in the second or third time, do not despair. Sooner or later, you will surely be able to negotiate with your offended inner self.
It is believed that this can take up to 15 hours of work on yourself. The main thing is not to despair.
It is necessary to reach out to your subconscious in order to throw off the burden of negativity, untie this Gordian knot and let your heart and love go through life with your head raised, and not bent under the weight of negative emotions.
The problems that have accompanied us for decades may have arisen as a result of a conflict with our parents. A person may not be aware of this. But once purchased toy can cause great psychological disorders for years to come. Forgive all offenses, open yourself to new desires, and leave the children in the past.
As a result, instead of a doll that you never received, you will gain real wealth.
- You will feel younger for at least 10 years. This will happen because new positive emotions will take the place of old grievances. New forces "penetrate" the body, which will help to cope with many things that previously could not be completed.
- Mood boost. You will continuously feel bouts of joy for no particular reason.
- Well-being. Some diseases will recede. The doors to exit your body will open after you remove the blocks from the grievances that did not let the disease out.
- Ending conflict. As soon as you forgive your offender, he will cease to be an irritant. Moreover, he will lose the desire to engage in skirmishes with you. As soon as you stop firing your arrows at him, and his desire to prick will disappear immediately. You, in turn, having overcome the negative emotions directed in his direction, will discover a new path for yourself that will lead to promotion, creation of your own business or the appearance of a family.
Self-forgiveness Techniques
Often, the road to a brighter future is closed to us by our own complexes, born as a result of resentment against ourselves. In this case, sooner or later we begin the destructive process of self-flagellation. And he, in turn, often leads to the desire to escape from reality with the help of alcohol or drugs. This can be prevented only by forgiving yourself any, like the most insignificant mistakes, and serious misconduct. To do this, there is a set of phrases that you need to repeat yourself every day.
Here is this soul-saving list:
- I apologize to myself for not buying ... (a list of what you so dreamed about, but which you did not dare to spend money on);
- I apologize to myself for paying too much attention to the opinions of others;
- I apologize for the fact that I often succumbed to laziness and did not achieve significant success in the professional field;
- I apologize to myself for being too worried about the unpleasant words spoken by strangers to me;
- I apologize to myself for often expressing dissatisfaction with loved ones;
- I apologize to myself for the insults;
- I apologize to myself for not becoming a father / mother.
Choose from the list those phrases that suit you, add your own. Speak to yourself sincerely. Do not hide insults and try to agree as quickly as possible. Once this can be achieved, we should proceed to the next part of the transformation of ourselves.
From words of forgiveness, we turn to words that give new sensations:
- I appreciate what is given to me;
- I multiply what I have;
- my life is wonderful;
- my fate is in my hands;
- I am responsible for my words and deeds;
- I apologize to myself for often expressing dissatisfaction with myself and my life;
- I respect myself.
This list can also be expanded as you wish and need.
We are all different, but each of us has the right to happiness and prosperity. So do not hide from them behind a heap of insults. Move this barrier and let love into your home.