Female infidelity: causes, methods of identification and advice of a psychologist

Female adultery is unlike male adultery. She has her own developmental mechanisms; her causes are always dramatically different from men's. And therefore, female infidelity will manifest itself differently. Her features, as well as how to identify the betrayal of a wife or girl, will be discussed in this article.

It so happened that a woman’s infidelity to her chosen one is condemned by society more strictly and categorically than a man’s betrayal, although if you look at the situation from the outside, both sexes have equal rights to adultery. Another question is that men are more likely to experience adultery. The self-esteem of the representative of the stronger sex deceived by the beloved woman falls, his ability to work productively and interact with the world around him suffers. The consequences of female adultery can be devastating. Much more serious than the consequences of the male adultery.

Many are stopped by the ancient instinct to preserve the hearth, many fear the consequences of a "tarnished" reputation. It is only in the speeches of politicians that the two sexes are equal; in life, women are still allowed and allowed by society much less than men.

The psychology of a woman is such that she always attaches great importance to relationships, and relationships on the side will not be an exception. Easy flirting for one night is not about women. If betrayal takes place, then the situation is nowhere more serious. Therefore, the deceived spouse, no matter how painful it may be, needs to start not with collecting a suitcase and denouncing an unfaithful “traitor,” but with searching for reasons, including in himself.Only after that it will be necessary to answer the question of what to do next.

If a woman has changed, you can believe that she had very good motives for it. A woman appreciates the emotional side of relationships; without her, for a lady, relationships lose all meaning. Therefore, one of the main reasons for female infidelity can be considered the search for spiritual contact, understanding, support on the side, if such concepts do not already exist in marriage. Tired of inattention, callousness of her husband, lack of support and help, a woman is looking for sex and an orgasm in another man, she needs to talk, cry, feel welcome, loved, beautiful, tender, such as she had not felt in the family for a long time .

At the same time, she runs the risk of truly getting close and spiritually related to that second man, who may well destroy the marriage, because she does not want to change anything in this. Often at this stage, women either admit infidelity or completely abandon an intimate life with her husband. Living at once with two partners, as is often done by male cheaters, women are usually unable, with rare exceptions.

Women who cheat for a long time usually do it with the same partner, their change is not included in her plans, women usually do not “collect” victories on the love front.

Treason "on occasion" (alcohol, corporate party, and so on) among the fair sex is very rare. Specialists in such spontaneous betrayals are usually men. And also, most women do not tend to change in order to satisfy sexual needs, which for some reason are not satisfied in marriage.

It is for these reasons, and also under the influence of fear of losing their jobs, that women are cheated on with bosses, higher-ranking employees. Quite rarely, but there are married traitors who pursued purely mercantile goals - to get money for sex, expensive gifts.

Women are touchy, and men should not forget about it. Therefore, among the reasons for the female adultery, not the last place is given to betrayal out of a sense of revenge - in response to the spouse's earlier betrayal, to a strong offense, the pain that he inflicted on her.

Women can change from boredom. And it is true. If there is no room left in the family for a drop of romance, while a woman has a lot of free time to analyze and sort through pleasant memories in her memory and heart, then one day there may be a need to feel them again, but with another man, since this one is forever busy and long cooled.

The main difference between female and male infidelity is that it can be prevented. There are such boundary stages of relations in which a man can already notice the inner readiness of his life’s girlfriend to go “to the left,” and then he can still make a difference if he is interested in this and loves his companion.

More than others, independent women tend to cheat, earning more than a husband, and occupying a high position on the career ladder. Adultery is more likely if a woman has a higher level of education than a man, if there are no common interests and hobbies.

Women are more sensitive to the feelings of others, and therefore any unfaithful girl or married woman usually carefully conceals the fact of adultery, fearing to be misunderstood and condemned by society. On the one hand, it’s always more difficult to notice female adultery than male adultery, and on the other, it’s easier because the woman’s behavior is changing. The more serious the relationship becomes out of wedlock, the more tangible it is in marriage.

Women who have something to hide become more anxious and vigilant. They no longer throw their mobile phone anywhere, hastily close the message box if you approach them from the back at the time of correspondence with someone on the Internet. The phone is password protected.

A woman is blooming, changing in appearance. A new hobby makes her be more attentive to her own appearance - she often happens at the hairdresser, does not leave the house without makeup, she always has well-groomed hands, a lot of new clothes, and especially underwear and stockings.

With the advent of a new partner, a woman usually has many new friends with whom the “husband is unfamiliar” and whom she is not going to introduce to him. She does not take her husband to parties with them. They often have to spend the night. The number of sex in a marriage is significantly reduced, and gradually this infrequent one comes to naught - women always have many reasons why they don’t need sex at the moment (headache, menstruation began, menstruation does not end, stomach ache, tired and so Further).

As relations outside of marriage develop, a woman becomes less tolerant of her husband’s actions and judgments. She begins to annoy his touches and jokes, his manner with his hands is pasta from a pan in the middle of the night in his underpants, the smell of his cologne. On the other hand, control is lost. If a woman used to often call and ask where her husband is when she arrives, now she is completely calm, even if he lingers for a long time at friends or at work, does not bother, does not call and does not require explanation. It would seem that this is exactly what my husband wanted recently, but not so simple. Now her silence and detachment begins to strain him.

You can forgive everything, and female infidelity, too. But forgiveness will require a man of a certain determination, courage and adulthood, the ability to cope with his grievances and a great desire to save his family. Moreover, you need to forgive, no matter what the decision. Even if it is impossible to save the family further, it will be better for everyone if the cheater knows that she has been forgiven and released in peace, and it will be much easier and more comfortable for the man to live on and build his life from the perspective of a man who has a desire to take revenge in his soul .

Another question is whether to forgive. A man must answer it alone. Without seeking advice from relatives or friends. Only himself, because no one knows so well what exactly this woman and his relationship with her mean. It makes sense to ask this question only after the first wave of indignation, resentment, perplexity and indignation subside. It will be better if the spouses live separately at this time. When the understanding comes that everything has already happened, that nothing can be changed, then adoption will take place, and after that you need to start a conversation with your wife about what will happen next.

This will not bring relief, but only alienate you from her, and her - from you. It is necessary to speak respectfully, not to get personal, not to blame and not blame. It is important to listen to her position, to understand why she did exactly the way she sees your future relationship.

If a woman sincerely repents and regrets, promises to never repeat such things again, if she wants to keep her family together, it is quite possible to establish a relationship, but this, of course, will require time and mutual efforts. It is very important for a man to step over his own pride and understand that there is a share in his partner’s betrayal and his fault, and then the couple will only have to understand what correction should be made to the relationship in order to exclude further misunderstanding.

It is important for a man to understand that his pardon does not oblige his wife to anything. She is not obliged to humble herself before him, to serve him the rest of her life only because he generously forgave her, the wrong one.If forgiveness is voiced, this means that never, under any circumstances, in any quarrel, a man has the right to remind about this case, to reproach or blame his wife, to blackmail her with this. For such families, alas, the forecasts are unfavorable.

It may happen that the woman herself does not want to continue the relationship. This is possible if she really fell in love and does not want to deceive anyone else. In this case, nothing can be done - forcibly, as they say, you won’t be nice. It is important to maintain your human dignity, not to break loose and not blame her, but simply to adequately discuss the details of the divorce, or leave them to her discretion.

Families who managed to restore relations after a serious trial of female infidelity, not so many, but they are. And if partners do everything right, then their relationship can become even better than they were before.

This question can rightfully be considered the main one. As already mentioned, female infidelity can be prevented almost always, everything will depend on how much a man needs a relationship with this representative of the fair sex.

Ideal to start a relationship with an honest approach - Do not try to give the chosen one gifts and pour compliments at every step - time will pass, the romance will decrease, and then the woman will feel cheated, misled. Be yourself.

The livelier the husband is interested in the spouse's problems, experiences and events, the higher the degree of trust between them, the better the relationship. Remember that wives can go only to the things that listen better, understand more, participate more often, advise, help, and not to anyone who knows more poses from the Kama Sutra.

Respect a woman and her personal space. Trust her. Do not try to control your wife. Even if you have a lot of work and you are very busy, take the time to just talk to her, to be together.

Marriage unions are very much held together by common interests and hobbies, joint hobbies and leisure activities held together.

If a man is thinking about how to prevent treason, if he has already felt “disturbing” changes in his wife, then he will erroneously roll up scandals and follow her, restrict her movements and freedom of communication, meet her from work and read her messages on her mobile phone. It’s much more correct to pull yourself together, not to offend a person without proof, and try to just change your relationship, starting to pay more attention to your wife.

If betrayal is bored with you, then the woman will be pleasantly surprised by the changes in you that she has been waiting for so long, and will accept them with pleasure. If she already has her own, second life, the options may be different. It happens that at this stage, husbands manage to return their loved ones and save their family.