What does the expression “Spanish shame” mean and where does it come from?

Spanish shame is the feeling that a person feels when he becomes ashamed of the misconduct committed by the people around him. Surely each of us experienced similar feelings in our lives, not even knowing exactly what name the emotions that arise in such cases have. Why does this feeling arise, and also where did such an unusual name come from - we will deal with these and other issues in our article.

Spanish shame is syndrome of empathic feeling of awkwardness that occurs as a result of other people's actions. In the traditional sense of shame, the main objects of experience are one's own actions and emotions. The Spanish syndrome manifests itself in those cases when other people act silly or dishonestly. That is, its main difference is that it arises for actions that the ashamed person himself did not perform.

To understand what the concept of “Spanish shame” means, it will be enough just to recall your own feelings that arose when someone else in your presence committed an unseemly or reckless act. It may seem that this is a mistake of an outsider, therefore it is up to him and not you to be ashamed, however, it happens that it becomes difficult to look at the incident, and the feelings of internal discomfort and awkward reach extreme limits.

Provoke the appearance of Spanish shame maybe not only the behavior of relatives or friends, but also the absurdities committed by completely strangers, for example, a host of a television program or even a character in a movie who is in indecent situations. You can get such feelings anywhere - on the street while walking, visiting, studying, traveling, on vacation.

With what the term "Spanish shame" means, we figured it out. Next, we dwell on features of its manifestation. In psychology, the manifestation of Spanish shame is explained by the fact that a person can either associate yourself with a stranger who committed an unseemly misconduct, or feel some connection with her (family ties, ordinary friendship, as well as belonging to the same team), or simply has any similarities that can cause manifestation of empathy.

It is known that the reaction to deviant behavior in different people manifests itself differently. For example, when an absolutely alien person begins to behave rudely, vulgarly or stupidly, in some cases it causes fun and laughter. But if a similar phenomenon is observed in the behavior of a relative or close friend - this can cause a state of extreme awkwardness.

Here are some examples of manifestations spanish shame.

1. During a holiday or feast, one of your close friends took too much alcohol. As a result, he begins to behave cheekily, indecently express himself, it was too common to joke. Watching his behavior, you begin to feel a sense of awkwardness, although you have nothing to do with the actions of this drunkard and you are absolutely not responsible for him.
2. Often a feeling of Spanish shame can be obtained by observing the attitude of one of the spouses to the elderly parents of their half living with them under the same roof.
3. In public transport, there are times when you have to blush for young people who are rude to pensioners or people with disabilities who ask to give them a place in a crowded bus. Although it’s even embarrassing to talk about it - a girl or a guy must give way to such passengers without reminders.

The origin of the phrase "Spanish shame" is not known for certain. Some say that the name of the feeling comes from the English idiom “spanish shame”, based on the famous phraseological unit “la verguenza ajena”, which literally translates from Spanish as “shame of another”. True, the Spaniards can not be called the most moral nation in the world, and therefore it is surprising that such an expression arose precisely in this state. But there is an explanation for this - scientists believe that this idiom arose among fans of Spanish TV shows, whose heroes sometimes make difficult to explain ridiculous acts.

There is another, more common theory that has religious overtones. If you follow it, it turns out that Spain itself has nothing to do with the term "Spanish shame." It is assumed that the concept originates from the word "ispa", meaning "aspen" in Hebrew. According to legend, it was on this tree that the apostle Judas hanged himself, and also a cross was later made from aspen, on which Jesus Christ was crucified after his betrayal.

The plant was, of course, completely innocent in the fact that it was used to commit terrible acts. However, aspen was cursed by people for other people's atrocities. That is why the feeling of shame for the actions of strangers received the meaning of "aspen", which turned out to be in tune with the "Spanish".

According to scientists, almost everyone is faced with a sense of Spanish shame at different stages of life. A person, of course, catches himself thinking that these are absolutely unnecessary and unnecessary excitements, but they cannot get rid of them.

Psychologists easily explain the appearance of such a phenomenon for several reasons. We list them.

1. A large number of restrictions and strict moral prohibitions in the children's period. The fact is that the human psyche is always programmed to understand what actions cannot be performed. And if some person commits them anyway, then you should not participate in them or you should try to stay as far away from such an individual as possible.
2. Perfectionism (the desire to be better, to avoid erroneous patterns). In fact, the feeling of awkwardness is a powerful emotional way of remembering that insures a person from repeating ridiculous mistakes. Spanish shame helps a person to gain experience on the mistakes of others, and not on their own.
3. Empathy. This is an experience related to the desire to help others like oneself. A feeling of awkwardness for the mistakes of an outsider causes a desire to help him improve the situation.
4. Fear of misunderstanding. In the old days, for every mistake you could pay rather cruelly and become an outcast in society. That is why the human brain tends to constantly hone patterns of correct behavior. So there is a feeling of awkwardness for the mistakes of others.
5. Identification of oneself with oneself. This explanation is one of the simplest and most logical. Feeling like a part of the team, we are equally worried about all those whom we consider “our own”.

Since Spanish shame is considered a normal condition, it can manifest itself to one degree or another in most people. However, the strength of this discomfort is determined by the predisposition to empathy, and it is individual in each person. A person who is capable of empathy and sympathy will be subject to a feeling of awkwardness for the behavior of others to a greater extent.

A person’s tendency to perceive everything close to the heart has a significant effect on the level of discomfort. Indifferent to everything and everyone, taking care only of himself, will experience the mistakes of strangers less than others. Most likely, they will not touch him at all.

Research from German scientists has proven that a person experiencing feelings and a sense of Spanish shame, thereby trying to warn other people from shame, even if they are completely unfamiliar to him. But the one who, due to psychological characteristics, is not predisposed to such a feeling, observing an absurd situation, only taunts, while experiencing inner satisfaction.

As part of the experiment, people were shown comedy films where the main characters ran into troubles. Some viewers laughed violently, finding the incident funny, others began to sympathize with the experiences of the heroes and look away from the screen at the moment when an unpleasant situation developed there.

It has been proven that the ability to empathize and to take closely the mistakes of other people is quite strongly manifested both on the emotional and on the physical level. It can be very difficult for a person to restrain his reaction, he tries to quickly break eye contact with the object of humiliation. For example, during an awkward scene when watching a movie, the viewer begins to look away.

And if something unpleasant happens on the street, then a person who is experiencing Spanish shame, tries to quickly pass by or even intervene, if the situation requires it. This reaction is explained people’s tendency to subconsciously “try on” everything that happened to themselves - that is why a person is ashamed of the misconduct that others commit.Sometimes he may remember that he himself had done something similar, so this causes him a strong emotional reaction.

Spanish shame is often experienced by people who believe that they have chosen the wrong spouse. Idealistic perfectionists, as well as pedants, sensitively perceiving each slip of their half in front of others, often push themselves into this dangerous trap.

Obviously, Spanish shame is far from the most comfortable feeling. In many cases, people would like to overcome it, get rid of it. Especially from him are overly receptive and easily injured individuals. Psychologists offer a number of effective recommendations that will help to repeatedly reduce discomfort.

1. Work to increase personal self-esteem. The more self-confidence you feel, the less excitement and senseless emotions associated with the actions of other people, you will be able to touch to the core. Try to take the time to read books and learn techniques aimed at perceiving your inner self.
2. Minimize the effect of the provoking factor. When a person who makes you awkward becomes an overly strong irritant, it’s best to completely remove it from your life. Often this implies the final breakdown of any relationship.
3. Recognize the senselessness and unnecessaryness of such experiences. With any manifestation of empathic emotions, ask yourself a simple question, the meaning of which is whether the act of an outsider has any influence on your subsequent life. The answer is likely to be negative.